February Review

What? February's over? What is going on here??? I'm sorry but these last two months just flew by and weren't very good for me, so if this is any indication of how the rest of the year will go for me, I'm not looking forward to it.

Anyways, let's step into my brief review of February. Because nothing monumental happened, I'm just making a quick list of events. You can click on the links to read about them from any existing blog posts.

• I struggled in school. 
• I signed up for a 5k.
• I complained about not having a smartphone.
• I got a smartphone. 
• I got humiliated at school. 
• Suddenly it was Valentines Day.
• I learned I probably have Social Anxiety Disorder.
• I went to St. George.
• We celebrated my husband's 25th birthday. 
• We made a huge decision for this summer.
• I got sick again. 
• I had to give a presentation in school.
• I continued to struggle in school. 
• I announced we're moving to Texas. 
• I started my fashion posts on this blog. 
• And tonight I'm seeing Brian Reagan (and I'll write about it later).  

I don't understand why this year isn't going well for me. If you have any advice, please let me know! 

Now onto reviewing my New Years Resolutions to see how well I've been doing on them. You can read more about my resolutions for 2014 by CLICKING HERE. 

[To gain 100 blog followers] When I add up the followers from my five social media outlets (GFC, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram) I get over 150 followers!!! However, I wanted this goal to be more centered towards a single outlet. Facebook, for example. If I get 100 likes on Facebook this year I'll feel like I've fully accomplished this goal. I'm not saying I'm not happy with my current state, because I totally am, but I just want to branch out more. 

[To run a 5k] As I said earlier in this post, I signed up for a 5k! I am super excited for it! It's the Color Vibe in Cache Valley and I'm doing it with my family so it will be tons of fun. I would love to see my blog followers there as well, so don't forget to sign up and I'll see you there! (Read my full post HERE) I wrote this section before the whole Texas thing. Because we will be in Texas we won't be doing the Color Vibe in Cache Valley, but we'll try to find something in Texas or do something here when we get back. I'm upset I can no longer do the run, but I'm excited for Texas!

[To get six pack abs] Not yet, but I've been using the My Fitness Pal app to keep track of my calorie intake. The last time I used this (with an additional diet) I lost eight pounds! So with this app and training for my 5k, I'm sure my six pack will be here soon!

[To improve my math skills] I haven't worked on this one at all yet. To be honest, I'm scared to because I have such a horrible history with math, but it's something I have to do for my resolution, for my major, and for my future career. 

[To make school more of a priority] I don't know if I've done this. I spend a lot of time on campus and I've been doing my assignments, but I don't know if I'd consider it my main priority right now, so there is still work to do. 

[To eat healthier] Major failing here. However, with My Fitness Pal I know I'm not eating too many calories. I eat awful things like pizza and cookies all the time, but I don't go over my calorie intake goal. So that's a start, I guess... 

[To save up more money] Next month my husband and I are doing a "Money Free March", we are going to try to spend no money except for bills, fuel, and groceries. We eat out way too much and we both like to shop so next month we are going to stop and take a break and see how much money we can save up. I'm planning on writing blog posts about it and I'll tell you how it goes. 

[To not procrastinate] I don't think I'm doing very well at this one. I tend to wait to do my assignments until the last minute. (Because why write an essay when I could be working on my blog?) So I'm a procrastinator and being a horrible one at that by procrastinating at this particular New Years Resolution. Fail. 

[To read more] The only things I've been reading lately are my school books and Sparknotes for when I don't read my school books. This semester I really don't have the time to read for fun so this goal (along with my Book Club) will have to wait. 

[To pray and read my scriptures everyday] Once you get out of a habit, it can be so hard to get back into it. In high school I was so good at praying every night. I've never been good at reading my scriptures though. But I really want to work harder at this, I'm just trying to get back into it. 

Well there you have it. My February Review. To read my other monthly reviews CLICK HERE and don't forget to follow my blog on any of my social media outlets to keep up with new blog posts and upcoming giveaways! 

THANKS FOR READING!! 

February Favorites

I very last minute decided to do a Monthly Favorites post for this month so it is very haphazardly thrown together and it's kind of short. But it's been a while since I did one and I've been wanting to start doing it again so why not now?

FAVORITE BLOG: A+ Life

I don't remember how I found this blog this month but I started reading and knew I would always, always, always keep reading. There are very few blogs out there that are so beautifully well written that you can't stop reading and this blog is becoming an inspiration for my own. I want my readers to never stop reading. It's a work in progress though.

FAVORITE SNACK: Brach's Conversation Hearts

And it has to be this brand and look like this. And preferable it's the larger size. Brach's hearts are so much softer than other brands that for me, who has this fear of biting into hard things, I can enjoy them like a normal person. I ate two bags of the large ones and one bag of the small ones. Good thing they only come around once a year!

FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: New Girl

I had seen a few episodes before, but this month I found three seasons on Netflix and have been majorly binge-watching!!! I'm obsessed. This show is so funny and great and it just makes me so happy! And yay for me for having a husband who tolerates me watching it all the time.

FAVORITE MOVIE: The Lego Movie

My husband and I have seen it twice and we're obsessed. It's so funny and happy and we just love it so much!! (Random Tangent: I was editing a paper and it was really bothering me that she said "and" multiple times in a sentence, but as I'm writing this I realize I do it too sometimes, but never in a school paper, but am I still a bad person for doing it?) Go see The Lego Movie!!!

FAVORITE/ MOST POPULAR BLOG POST: I Hate College

FYI, this category is not determined by me. I base it on which post that I've written this month has had the most page views, and I Hate College is the winner. This post now has a follow-up post FOUND HERE. This post was written in anger but it's sadly incredibly truthful. Again, I haven't made a final decision yet, I do still appreciate your comments and suggestions, they are very helpful and I am super grateful.

My I'm Moving to Texas post was a close second and worth mentioning because some people still don't know about this drastic change in my life that I keep waking up having nightmares about moving. Since our move less that three months ago was kind of a disaster with packing up our stuff, I'm so stressed about a more serious move like this.

FAVORITE EVENT: My St. George Trip

It was so incredibly fun to leave the cold and go to St. George. I seriously love St. George and always wanted to live down there. I loved being able to swim and to explore and to eat good food! It was so great celebrating my AMAZING husband's birthday and it was just a fantastic trip!

Tonight we're seeing Brian Reagan! But I don't think that will top the St. George trip... we'll see...

What were your favorite things this month? Leave a comment and let me know! Visit my blog later today for my February Review!

THANKS FOR READING!!

I Greatly Dislike College

Last week a wrote a certain blog post entitled I Hate College. And for some strange reason I received a huge response and it quickly became my most viewed blog post this month. I found it incredibly strange especially considering it was just a long, angry rant and typically those don't go over too well on my blog. But for some reason you all were very intrigued by my bold statement of saying I hate college and were very interested in helping me. So thank you.

But I cannot in good conscience just let that angry post slide by without a disclaimer. While everything I wrote in that post is true and I wouldn't take any of it back, it's important to note that directly before that post I was in class and received my paper back, a paper that I thought I had done really well on, but I got a "C+".

Despite that being a passing grade I was incredibly frustrated! The whole point of this particular semester was to bring up my GPA by taking all the classes that I had previously failed. Which means that the two classes this semester that I am in great danger of failing, I've already failed them before!! I've already taken that class! I've already done the work! And these are English classes, a subject in which I decided I didn't want to major in anymore.

I'm sick of being in English classes and because I'm in all high level English courses, this semester is particularly difficult and frustrating for me. I have no desire to be in these classes and with each bad grade on a quiz or essay I lose any desire to even pass anymore. This semester is incredibly difficult and it's draining me in a way that no semester ever has, not just because of the difficulty level but because I just don't care anymore.

While I do stand by my post last week, I feel it's important for my readers to know why I wrote all those anger-filled words at that particular moment. And I feel the title of this post more accurately portrays my real feelings towards college. Hate is too strong a word.

I don't know what my next step is. I don't know what the result of last week's post is yet. Right now I'm just focusing on getting through the rest of the semester and then taking the summer off in Texas to think through all my options. I've talked with my husband and I think I have a good idea about where I want to go from here, but I need to pray about it more and I feel like I need to be out of school (not continually pestered by this awful semester) to make the right decision.

Again, thank you to everyone who left comments on last week's post or texted or emailed me. All your comments and suggestions were incredibly helpful and I am so grateful to have this wonderful blogging community to help me when I'm down. You mean everything to me and I am so happy to have you around.

THANK YOU!!! 

Top Ten Reasons I Can't Lose Weight

Before ya'll freak out and say I'm too skinny to lose weight, you're wrong. I know I'm not obese, but after nine months of marriage there is absolutely no way I could fit back into my wedding dress, and that fact makes me die a little inside. My goal is to get back to the weight I was before my wedding. And that's a completely reasonable goal. So don't be hating on me! Anyways, here are the top ten reasons I haven't been able to lose weight!

1.Time. I don't have time to go to the gym!

2. Sickness. I was sick basically all of January and now I'm sick again, and if you think I'm being a wimp I just barely ran from a building to a car and it resulted in a massive cough attack and difficulty breathing.

3. School. Yes, I'm blaming college for my problems a lot lately...

4. My husband works at Papa Johns. I mean seriously, how do you lose weight when you can have discounted pizza all the time?

5. I hate cooking so eating greasy fast food makes me happier. But it's a horrible, horrible addiction for both my body and my wallet.

6. Holidays. We had so much leftover Christmas candy and as soon as that was gone we got Valentine's candy. Nobody give me candy for St. Patrick's Day!

7. Laziness. I could go to the gym... or I could sit and watch New Girl!

8. But my job is like exercise right??? I do carry around a vacuum on my back and am on my feet the whole time.

9. Procrastination. It's one of my greatest talents. (wink wink)

10. I'M ADDICTED TO FOOD!!! And I honestly can't stop eating.

THANKS FOR READING!!!!

My Fashion Blogger Debut

SHIRT: Luxe Fashion PANTS: Walmart  BOOTS: Kohls

 I have a longing desire to become a successful fashion blogger. While this blog will still mainly be a lifestyle blog and tell the story of my life, I'm adding in fashion posts as well. A year ago I did some fashion posts, but I'm going to be doing it much more now.

As a member of the LDS church, I represent modest fashion. I also am a huge bargain hunter and rarely buy something if it isn't on sale. In later posts I'll talk about how I get my clothes for cheaper and how you can still be fashionable without spending a ton of money.

These pictures are taken on my phone so they aren't the best quality, however, it does a better job than my camera does right now. So someday I may get a new camera and my pictures will look better, but for now it's much simpler to just take them on my phone.

If you have any questions about this outfit, please leave a comment below! Also, if you have any suggestions on becoming a fashion blogger, please leave a comment or send me an email. I need all the help I can get!

I'm Moving to Texas???

Alright people, let's get real here for a moment. Life is crazy and filled with many unexpected twists and turns. I had no idea that after getting married I wouldn't be able to find a job and we'd be super poor and have to move and do all these things because of our lack of money. I had no idea starting out in college that I would be here for eight years, changing my major three times. And I had no idea that an opportunity would come and we would move to Texas for the summer....

What??? 

Yeah, you heard me right. WE'RE MOVING TO TEXAS FOR THE SUMMER!!!

It's alright to be majorly surprised because I'm super surprised too. Here's the whole story. Chris got approached by some old mission friends about a job opportunity for the summer. He would be selling pest control in Texas for the summer. My husband thought about it but didn't really consider it as an option. We have a whole life here, it feels like we just moved and were finally getting settled in, and we both have jobs here.

Chris went down to Salt Lake and they took him out to dinner and explained the whole job to him. Chris became more interested but still didn't really want to uproot our little family despite the ridiculous amounts of money he could get.

Then, only a few days later, at his Papa Johns job, he delivered a large order of pizzas to a similar type of company. They paid the bill then handed him a $75 tip. Chris took the money happily, we've been struggling financially for months and $75 is a lot to us. But this tip got him to thinking...

This company handed him the $75 like it was worthless to them. They had tons of money and we easily able to spend $75 just for a tip. Chris realized that he's lucky to get a $1 tip here and he began thinking about the job offer more. If he were to take the job, he could potentially have $75 to spare as a tip.

We then went on our St. George trip where Chris talked with his brother who was offered a similar type job in California. They began comparing their offers, wanting to do something together, but Chris was still on the fence of whether or not we should really go.

After a lovely dinner at his grandma's house, Chris and I went walking hand in hand through the warm St. George neighborhood. We began discussing our options. Much to his surprise I immediately suggested we go to Texas. Because while we have a life here, we may never get an opportunity like this again. Chris is going to graduate soon and I want kids soon (but should wait till I graduate). This is one of the only times it's just us and we'd be able to do something like this.

We discussed it carefully and went over the plan and the different options till we made a decision. We needed to move to Texas.

While we both understand that it'll be a struggle and he will be working constantly, we both agree that a new experience and an adventure like this will be good for us. We are both sad we'll miss out on things at home and have to put everything on hold for a while, we believe that this is the right decision for us.

Obviously, if you live in Texas you have to tell me all about the wonderful things I have to do! I'm considering making something like The Cache Valley Checklist but for Texas and things that we can do in one summer. So if you think I should do that, let me know and if you have things for me to do in Texas please leave a comment or shoot me an email! And whether or not I make I checklist, you can bet I'll be blogging about the whole adventure!

This is a huge change for us and we're both incredibly nervous and excited. But mostly excited. It's an adventure and it'll be a big change, but we're both very happy about our decision.

Song of the Week: Arms

Words cannot describe how much I love this song. When I met Chris, this was the song about our relationship. It was so hard for me to let myself fall in love, but I'm so glad I did, because my husband completes me in a way no one else ever could. I love this song so so so so so so much!!! It's a different sort of love song, but it's definitely one of my favorites.

I Hate College

This post ended up much longer than I expected and is majorly an angry rant. Read it if you wish, and if you do, please leave a comment and give me a suggestion on what to do. I'm horribly upset over this. 

This title is a very bold statement, but quite honestly it's true. And people should stop telling me I'm just going through a faze, because I've been here for practically five long years and I've always hated it. I put on a very deceiving front. I go to all my classes, I talk enthusiastically about my major, and for the past two days I've stayed on campus for 10 straight hours (today it's 7 and a half hours straight). But the truth is that I absolutely hate being here and I really, really don't want to stay.

I started college at Utah State (which I have nothing against this school, only college in general) back in 2009. I was excited to start out with my major in print journalism. I went through the first semester with decent grades but greatly disliked going to classes and being in college. The next semester was harder and I thought, "Maybe I'm in the wrong major", so I talked with a counselor and changed my major to English teaching.

So my next year of college began in my English major, a subject I have always loved and always did well in in high school. I received all "B's" that semester and began feeling discouraged. The next semester my personal life hit an all-time low and I suffered horrible depression and dropped many of my classes, leaving me with three simple ones which I got "A's" in.

The next year I started into the difficult English courses and found that I wasn't as good in English as I though I was. In fact, I sucked at English! I felt incredibly behind and stupid and began failing courses. The next semester was even worse, leaving me with a horrible GPA and too frustrated to stay. I left college and moved back home, needing a break from the college life and to get my priorities straight.

That year I found multiple jobs and worked long hours (all while planning my wedding). I absolutely loved that year, despite living two hours from my fiance, and fell in love with a hard working schedule. I loved to work and felt accomplished.

After my wedding I moved back to Logan, ready to start up school again after the summer. I searched all summer for a job and couldn't find one, leaving me feeling horribly depressed and empty inside. I had loved the last year of working so much and it hurt me that I couldn't work again. I finally got my old janitorial job back at the end of the summer. I wasn't incredibly happy with it, but I loved my boss and coworkers and at least I had a job.

I started school again with confidence, ready to work hard and raise my GPA, all while exploring a second major change. While I didn't very well that semester, I HATED IT. I hated being in school and I just wanted to go back to working again. I loved one particular class and I learned a lot but I hated being in school.

Now we're at the current semester, where I'm trying my hardest and still getting horrible grades. I hate being in school, I hate being in college, and I honestly don't think I can do this anymore.

In one of my classes last semester my teacher asked us to write down where we see ourselves in five years. I wrote that I wanted to be a mother, that I wanted to be working, that I wanted to be writing novels and writing on my blog, I wanted to be helping people, I wanted to be out of Logan, and I wanted to be happily married with my husband.

He then said, "If teaching isn't on there, than maybe this major isn't for you." Teaching wasn't on my list. In fact, I didn't even think about teaching until he had said it. I became very confused. Is teaching really what I want to do or am I trying to convince myself I should because it's a "real job". Do I want to be a teacher or am I just in love with the idea of being a teacher?

Since September I've been volunteering in an elementary school and helping a fifth grader on his reading. I absolutely love it and love being in that environment, but I want to do it now, I don't want to wait five years and suffer through college to get there. I think I could be a good teacher, but the thought of going through college to get there terrifies me, not because it's hard, but because I absolutely hate it.

Is college really right for me if I'm constantly stressed, crying, and horribly depressed? College is so hard for me but it's also hard on me. It brings down my self-esteem and self-worth with each new school day. I feel lost and hurt because I never know the right answer when I'm called on in class. I feel stupid in every single one of my classes, even the ones I do good in. I honestly believe college isn't right for me... right now.

I texted my mom after a horrible day of school and told her about my doubts and how much I hate college. She suggested I take a break, but I've already done that! And after my break I hated going back! While I was so excited to go back, when I finally got back here I remembered how much I hate it and all that excitement disappeared and was replaced with sadness and anxiety.

I don't want to finish college. There. I said it. I hate being here. I hate going to school. I want to work, I want to start a family, I want to feel like I'm successful in life. Right now I feel like a horrible failure and I want to escape. I want to work full-time. I don't want to go to school. I hate college!!

I don't want to be a drop-out, I really don't, but I honestly hate being here and have no desire to stay. I'm confused and upset. I want someone to give me the right answer. What should I do? Where am I supposed to be? Where am I going in life? HELP!!

Read a follow-up post/disclaimer HERE. 

My Trip to St. George

For this post I'm starting at the very beginning, which means Valentine's Day morning. It all began with me waking up and getting ready like it was a normal day, because at the time it was. I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day so the fact that it was February 14th didn't faze me (except that I was happy for my parents because it's their anniversary).

When my husband woke up he hurried and got ready and we decided to head to Kneaders for French Toast. I was super excited because I've been wanting Kneaders French toast since forever but things always come up and we could never get there in time for breakfast. But this time we did and it was delicious!!

P.S. All the pictures were taken with my new phone and are shaped weird, but they honestly turn out better than if I take them with my camera.

Then I had class to get to and Chris went off to go find my Valentine's Day gifts, which included beautiful earrings, chocolate covered strawberries and a super cute card! It was simple, but honestly, we both knew we were going to St. George and we're trying to save up our money so it was perfect.

After class Chris went and got his new driver's license because he's 25 and old now. Then we ate at Carl's Jr. and started driving through the snowy canyon to my in-law's house.

Ugh! Worst picture ever! And why is it a different size? I don't get it! 

Once at my in-laws, we transferred all our stuff to their car and we took of for St. George!! I was super excited to get away from the stress of school and just relax! On the way there we stopped at a gas station/petting zoo where I found a souvenir with my name spelled right!!! It's honestly a rare occurrence.

We arrived in St. George late that night and we visited Chris's Grandma Joyce before heading to our hotel (which was beautiful and amazing). We fell asleep soon after in the most amazing bed and now I really want pillows like that...

The next day was MY HUSBAND'S BIRTHDAY!!!! We woke up, ate pancakes and bacon and went off to the soccer tournament! My father-in-law coaches a team of twelve-year-olds that were playing in the tournament. While there, I ran into my best friend! Her dad is a soccer ref and he was down there for the tournament and I got to talk with my best friend Lauren and her mom, which was so wonderful! I miss them so much! They are seriously like a second family to me.

After soccer we went bowling! And I sucked!! I seriously don't think I've ever done that badly before! However I think I know why. Friday in class we learned about Social Anxiety Disorder and they gave us a mini-test to see if we had it and... yeah... there's a very great chance I have it. And looking back on my life I realize just how much I really do probably have this. I don't know what it means for my future, but I suppose it's a good thing I finally figured it out. Anyways, while bowling I feel incredibly anxious and stressed because I don't like being put in the spotlight, so when I go up and bowl and they all either cheer for me or say "oh, that's alright", I get this tension throughout my body because I don't want to be the center of attention. It's always happened, but I never knew it was a part of Social Anxiety Disorder. When I'm bowling with just Chris, I don't feel that pressure because I'm so in love with him and everything is comfortable and different around him, but apparently when I'm with other people I suck at bowling.

A Letter to My 17 Year Old Self

Hey you! It's me, you. Happy 17th birthday! It feels old doesn't it? Just wait until you're 23 like me, you'll feel super old then. I hope you're having a good birthday and your cake is good. It sure looks interesting. To be honest, I don't remember anything about our 17th birthday. I just remember being 17, but I'll get to that in a minute.

In about two months you'll meet a boy named Colton. You'll make a complete fool of yourself by the first thing you say to him, but that's alright, because he's something special. Never forget he's someone special. He will end up being your best friend, and the only one you can turn to when things go wrong. He's important and changes your life for the better. And while you love him and everything he does for you, he's not the one. Be kind and show him you care. If I could only ask you to change one thing, don't hurt him the way I did. He didn't deserve that. He will be your best friend, and he doesn't need you to betray him the way I did.

Also this year you'll be going to San Antonio with the school choir. You'll become better friends with people there and have a lot of fun. Try to keep those friendships alive, because after high school friendships change.

I know you're upset that you didn't make the ballroom team this year, but don't worry, you'll make it next year. And you'll get better and better at dance. You'll even (finally) be able to do the splits. Then in college, you'll make the team there, and you'll be a favorite of the coaches. They'll end up becoming your friends. You'll make lots of friends through ballroom. You'll also meet someone who tries to destroy your life. Don't let him destroy your life, keep your head up and keep dancing.

Also keep writing. Someday you'll start a blog that will end up being fairly popular and will bring you so much joy! You'll also think of the idea for that award-winning book you've always wanted to write. It'll take quite a few years to write it, but you know it's good because it's the first book you never give up on. For a time in college you may doubt your writing abilities, but please don't. You know you love to write and that it makes you happy, so don't stop doing it.

You already know you want to go to Utah State, and you're right. USU will be one of the greatest things you'll ever do. You'll meet so many people, learn so much, experience new things, and end up meeting the love of your life.

Oh yeah! You're probably wondering about marriage. You'll get married at 22. I know you're thinking 21, but you start dating him on your 21st birthday, so it still works. His name is Chris. But not the first Chris you date, he'll just leave you and hurt you. Be patient until you find the right Chris, and you'll know when you find him because he's perfect and he will make you happy for eternity. He's super attractive and the nicest boy you'll ever meet. He has a great family and gets along very well with yours. You pick a winner, don't worry.

Oh, and at the 11/11/11 party, be sure to eat as many pumpkin chocolate chip cookies as you can. You'll get super sick, but Chris will be there for you, and it'll be the first time you realize you love him.

While you're already close, after moving away to college, your siblings will become your best friends. Nick will grow taller than you, but at one point you'll be the same height, and everyone will think you're twins. Michelle is always so kind and has so much wisdom, she'll be your rock as you grow older.

Treat mom and dad better. It's not that you treat them badly now, but once you move away you'll realize how much you really miss them. They are incredible parents and they deserve to get more of your love. In a few months, mom will give you letter that changes your life, you'll realize just how important you are to her, and your bond will grow. Mom and Dad love you and they always will no matter what you do.

I know your heart is feeling heavy right now. You're conflicted because a boy is in love with you but your best friend is in love with him. They'll end up together eventually and you'll be a bridesmaid at the wedding. It's a beautiful wedding and you'll get to drag along your husband with you. You'll be happy for them.

...I know you don't want to hear this, but being 17 is hard.

I know what you're feeling inside.I know all about the blackness inside of you. I know you hurt. I know you cry every night. I know you cut yourself sometimes just to feel pain that makes sense, that you can see. I know that you stare at passing cars, wanting to jump in front of them. I know that you drive around for hours, trying to clear your head and get all the tears out before anyone can see you. I know that you feel alone even with so many people around you everyday. I know you think you're ugly. I know you hate yourself.

But despite all the pain, you'll make it through. It'll be one of the hardest things you ever face. It'll make you so much stronger! Your relationship with your Father in Heaven will grow and you'll learn more about the atonement of Jesus Christ. You'll realize your place in this world. You'll learn that you are important, and you are loved. YOU ARE SO LOVED!!!

When you're sitting on your bed, wanting it all to end, YOU WILL SURVIVE. You will make it through and live a wonderful, beautiful life! You will find happiness! You don't have to live in the darkness forever!!

And while you'll still struggle with depression your whole life, once you make it past 17, you'll be able to make it through everything else! You become someone who helps others, who is confident and proud, who learns to love, who is happy.

Kaylee, 17 is hard. It'll be so so hard. But once you get past 17, you'll become a hero to yourself. You'll become someone important. And you'll finally become you.

I wish you the best of luck! I love you and know you'll make the right decisions.

Love,
Future Kaylee

____________________________________________________________

This post was inspired by this song:

What would you write to your 17 year old self? Leave a comment below and let me know!

THANKS FOR READING!! 

An Awesome Giveaway!!

Hey friends, my good friend Kalee from the fabulous blog Fred Rongo is a beautiful designer and she is giving away a free blog design!!!

Oh my gosh! Was I not JUST SAYING I wanted to change things up on my blog? I'm writing about her giveaway on my blog to try and get more entries so I can win!! Ha ha. But I also want all my readers to be aware of this amazing giveaway and enter yourself. To find her giveaway CLICK HERE. Thank you so much for reading!!

I Survived

This post will be short and sweet. Okay, not very sweet, but short. This post is also very difficult for me to write (especially in the public computer lab on campus, it would be much easier if I was at home by myself, stupid broken laptop). But this post needs to be written.

This month (because I cannot specifically remember the day) is sort of like a holiday for me. A holiday with one specific gift. Life. When I was 17 I was going through major depression and self-loathing. I hated myself, I hated my life, I hated living, and I was ready to end it all.

But I didn't.

I survived.

I want so badly to tell my whole story and let the world know that while depression is extremely hard, you too can survive.

But this month is a holiday. I survived, and so can you.

If you are suffering with depression please feel free to email me (thedancingcowblogger@gmail.com) and talk about it. I want to help you. I want you to survive as well.

This post is incredibly short, yet it means so much to me.

I survived. And my life has changed significantly since I was 17. My life is amazing now! And yours can be too.

Life is precious, never forget that.

Read my post tomorrow to learn more.

Thank you for reading. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!!!

I love this boy more than words can express! He is the kindest man I've ever known and he treats me with love and respect everyday. He's such a great fisherman, adventurer, cook, soccer player/lover, Lego builder, Pokemon trainer, and husband, and I know someday he will make an incredible father as well. 

Chris, I fell in love with you the moment you cared for me that day I was sick. You lay beside me, even though we hardly knew each other at that point, and took care of me despite how gross and sick I was. I have never forgotten that moment because that was the moment I knew I loved you. You stayed by my side, and you cared for me, and because of that I fell in love with you. 

We've been together for over two years and these two years have flown by! I cannot wait to spend the rest of eternity with you! I love you so much and can't imagine life without you! You mean everything to me, you make me happy, you make me brave, you make me a better person, and I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for bringing you to me, because my life was made whole once you came around. 

We've been married for nine months and I love having you constantly by my side. You complete me. You make me so happy everyday. You make me feel beautiful even when I'm at my worst. You tolerate when I throw little fits. You cook because I hate doing it. You take me where I want to go. You let me act like a child. You play in the rain with me. You give me lots of hugs and kisses. You take care of me when I'm sick (which happens a lot). You provide for our little family. You get along with my family, who mean so much to me. You are absolutely perfect for me. 

Chris, I love you so much and I hope you have the best birthday ever! I cannot wait to celebrate every birthday with you for the rest of eternity! 

Happy 25th baby! You're still looking sexy as ever!! ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!!! 

I LOVE YOU!!! 

Song of the Week: Tattooed Heart

I love this song so much! But let's talk about that performance for a second. This is what more celebrities should do. While we enjoy a good performance and entertainment, it is absolutely incredible to see a young star like Ariana Grande just standing solo at a microphone and singing like a major superstar. Her voice is so incredibly and I thank whoever helped direct this performance that they saw this song and her voice didn't need a production, she could make this song amazing just with her voice. Ariana Grande is one of the few celebrities out there right now who actually has a good voice (which is so sad when you think about it) and she is so incredibly talented that she doesn't need a production to make her look good. And I am so obsessed with her and think she should be my friend...

It's my husband's birthday today!! I'll write about how we're celebrating it later next week, but just know we're having a great time. :) As I've been doing for February, I picked a love song for the song of the week, and while this isn't the love song between my husband and I (I'm saving that one for our anniversary) it's a song that I think can work well with our relationship. We're stuck together forever, much like a tattoo. I love my Christopher so very much and am glad we have eternity to spend together!

HAPPY 25TH BABY!!! 

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentines Day from us to you!! 

We hope your day is filled with excitement, happiness, and love! 

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! 

SeeeMe

Hey friends! So this month I didn't have a Charity of the Month and I'll be honest, it was all because of laziness and stress. However, in class yesterday my teacher handed out cards for a charity banquet for the organization she works with and I knew I had to write about it on here and share it with my followers.

On February 19th at 7:00pm in the Utah State University TSC Ballroom in Logan, there will be a Hunger Banquet to help the organization, SeeeMe. It's $5 each or a group rate of 4 for $15. So if any of you are in Logan, please go and help out this wonderful organization!

Because of this, SeeeMe is the Charity of the Month for March and the rest of this month. My teacher told us all about what she does in Uganda to help out these kids and it is such an incredible organization! They honestly make every penny count in helping out these people. So please don't forget to donate by CLICKING HERE. 

I want to thank all my readers for your participation in Charity of the Month! It's still in it's beginning, rocky stage, but you are all a big help. Remember that all I ask for is $1 a month towards charity and together we can help change the world. THANKS!!

My Favorite Fictional Couples

This post was originally put up on my blog last June, but I decided in honor of Valentines Day I would share it again. Enjoy! 

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When I was in my 8th grade Spanish 1 class, we (as a class) once kept our teacher from teaching us any Spanish by having him rant about how the people that you are around influence you and you become like them (which explains my lack of knowledge on the Spanish language).

That story is only partially relevant to this post.

See, as I'm sure we all do, I have some of my favorite fictional couples from books and movies. And if the above statement is true, I would love to hang out with these couples, because their relationships are so strong and beautiful and I love the way that they love each other. I aspire to be like these couples (although my relationship, in my opinion, is better than all of these ones combined) because these couples work hard at their relationships and love each other no matter what.

So here is my list of ten my favorite fictional couples (with pictures and videos!!!) in no particular order. I know I'll be leaving out some good ones but I can always make another list later. (WARNING: May contain spoilers! Read at your own risk!)

Fergus and Elinor (from Pixar's Brave) 

Chris and I keep trying to watch this show but our DVD player is broken and really hates this movie (apparently) so we've never been able to get through it. I absolutely ADORE the relationship that Fergus and Elinor have. I don't care that this is a cartoon, but when Fergus sees that his wife may be sick, him immediately begins to worry. When he finds his wife gone, he really freaks out. But it's all out of love. You can see it and hear it and it's the cutest thing ever. I'm not the biggest fan of this movie, but they're relationship is so adorable. And Merida is so cute in the picture above!

Chandler and Monica (from Friends)

I talk about Friends way too much on this blog but it's only because it's my favorite!! I love that going through all the seasons, Chandler was always partial to Monica, even from the very beginning. And it's just so cute to me that it pays of for them. Everyone always want to marry their best friend (which I did) and Monica and Chandler absolutely did and it was just so perfect.

Ron and Hermione (from Harry Potter by JK Rowling)

I'm currently going through all the Harry Potter movies and it's so funny the relationship that Ron and Hermione have in the first movie/book. Their relationship is just cute. It's another friends to couple story, but theirs was kind of always there. Ron always felt something there and I'm pretty sure Hermione did too. And it's just the cutest relationship to read and especially to watch them as cute little 11 year old kids then turn into adults and have such a strong and meaningful relationship. Bravo JK Rowling. Bravo.

Shawn and Juliet (from Psych)

This is one of my favorite Shawn and Juliet scenes. I don't care that there have been a ton of adorable ones since this moment, especially since they ended up together (he is seriously the cutest boyfriend to her). This scene shows the beginning. Shows that he loved her, not like, love, from the moment that he met her. There is no cuter relationship than this one, because he always always loved her and never ever stopped.

Jim and Pam (from The Office)

Jenna Fischer and John Krasinski played these roles absolutely perfectly because their relationship is probably the best there ever was on television. It always felt so real that I often forget that they are actors and that they're really in relationships with other people. Jim and Pam are perfect in every way. This show let you see their relationship grow from a crush to married with kids and it was just so beautifully written (their relationship, not always the show) that their relationship really captivated you and made you happy.

Dill and Rosemary (from Easy A (yeah, I didn't know their names either until IMDB))

Web Video Wednesday: Valentine's Day

I found this video and thought it was super cute and the girl was super cute and I thought, "Hey, it's been a long time since I've done a Web Video Wednesday post, I might as well share this one." So here you go. Some more stuff you can do to celebrate Valentines Day with your loved one... or with yourself. I'm not judging. ENJOY!

Also I wanted to share another video that I found enjoyable, mainly for the number one spot. And it relates to my post tomorrow.

Unhappiness // I NEED YOUR HELP!!

If I'm being completely honest with myself, I am unhappy with this blog. Despite my love of writing, it isn't turning out the way I had originally visioned. And after working hard on this blog for a year and a half, isn't it about time I make it how I want it to be? 

So starting in March there will be some major changes happening on this blog. It'll be going a whole different direction. I'm reorganizing and rearranging everything, posts will be different, the style of my blog will be different, and much more! 

Because of all of this, I'm asking for your help! Please leave a comment below with any suggestion for my blog! These can be about anything! Tell me what you like, what you don't like, what you'd like to see different, what you think I should add, etc. I want this to be a blog that can be enjoyed by everyone, so please leave your input to help make it better! 

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! 

My New Phone

Last week when I wrote my Smart Phone Envy post, I was blissfully unaware that my in-laws were working on getting a new cell phone plan, and after seeing my blog post (which I now feel guilty about because of how bratty I sounded) my wonderful mother-in-law decided to add me to their new phone plan (where my husband and I pay our share, we aren't spoiled brats I promise). Meaning, I now have a smart phone.

So first off, a HUGE public thank you to my in-laws: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I love you all so much and I am truly grateful you've added me to your plan! I won't abuse it I promise! ;)

Secondly, let me tell you a bit about my new phone. I got the Samsung Galaxy Light  from T-Mobile. So far I am completely in love with this phone! It's light-weight, it's not too big, it runs fast, and IT'S A SMART PHONE!!! Honestly, I was thrilled to finally be able to Instagram without stealing my husband's phone.

I ordered a super cute case from Amazon that will get here sometime this week and I am super excited about it and will for sure Instagram a picture (seriously, I'm obsessed with Instagram so don't forget to follow me).

This post is super short, but I just needed to update you on what's happening with me, because it makes me super happy! (How many times can I say "super" in one blog post? The funniest part is I basically never say "super" in real life, just in writing.) And also, I needed to show ya'll another pick of my haircut, because I haven't since it happened (there's a reason for that and I'm hoping to write about it soon).

I'm sorry I'm a sell-out and joined the Smartphone Club. 

THANK YOU FOR READING!! 

A Day In The Life Of Me

Hey friends! So I found this post in my drafts and decided to share it anyways. This post was back in November, before my brother-in-law got home from his mission. I think I'm going to do another one of these posts, but let me know what you think in the comments below.

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I've never done one of these posts but I always see them done by other bloggers or Youtubers and find them fun and interesting. I picked a hectic day to write about though! With classes, upcoming tests, presentations, and big papers, I'm incredibly busy lately! But this is my schedule from Tuesday.

8:20 Wake up and try to convince my husband to wake up as well, he has class before I do.

8:30 Shower and shave

8:58 Drive Chris to class in sweats, oversized jacket, wet hair, and no bra.

9:05 Check Facebook, my favorite blogs, my blog, bank account status, etc all while drinking a weight loss shake for breakfast.

9:40 Hair and makeup and getting dressed, singing and dancing to Pandora as I go.

10:20 Drive up to campus, switch off drivers with Chris, Chris drops me off at my class. It's a system we have down quite nicely.

10:30 Introduction to elementary education class (which was awesome because we built paper towers).

11:45 Class ends, I pick up the school newspaper and walk to the TSC circle where Chris is waiting with the car. He goes to class and I head home.

12:00 Eat Ramen and watch How I Met Your Mother Youtube videos.

12:30 Pick up Chris from his class.

12:40 Arrive at the bank and take out every last penny we have.

12:55 Pay rent to the managers.

12:57 Get back home and on the couch to watch more Youtube videos.

1:15 Husband brings over a bowl of delicious food and watches Youtube with me. But I really should be doing homework or studying...

3:00 Work on list of movies for Sheldon to watch when he gets home.

3:50 Drive up to campus to sit in computer lab and work on a paper for class.

4:44 Submit paper online and immediately regret this decision. It isn't due till the next day so I still had time to revise! Dumb choice Kaylee!

4:57 Clock in at work. And work, and work, and work, and joke around, and work, and laugh, and work, and tell stories at break, then back to work, and play with fake snow, and climb into a basket, and play with toys in the bookstore, and read weird $1 books, and that's what we call work.

9:03 Clock out at work.

9:10 Go down to the computer lab again to work on homework, but don't actually do homework, just explore the lives of my Facebook friend.

9:30 Get picked up by husband.

9:35 Arrive and home and realize I have no motivation to do homework... but I have to do homework and study...

11:30 Eventually get ready for bed and go to sleep.

Song of the Week: She's Everything

It's February. The month of Valentines Day and my husband's birthday. So what better way to celebrate than by doing love songs for the month of February! And I can't think love songs without thinking about Brad Paisley. This song is adorable and I love it so much!

This is my 500th blog post! Yay me! In only a year and a half, I clearly write too much. 
THANKS FOR READING!!! 

Color Vibe

Alright people, if you look back on my New Years Resolutions you'll remember that one of my goals is to run a 5k. This is a big deal for me because I've never been a runner in the whole history of my life. I don't run. But this year I'm going to start.

Along with my family, I've signed up for the Cache Valley Color Vibe! Now I officially am working towards my goal! So every night after work I head next door to the gym on campus and run around the track. I'm a horrible runner and walk more than half the time but I've been doing a 3k to start with. But if I keep up with it I just know I'll get better and better and will eventually be able to run the whole way!

I want to invite all my blog readers to sign up for the Color Vibe too!  The Color Vibe takes place in many cities across the U.S. so you don't have to travel to Utah to participate. But if you are going to the Cache Valley one I would love to meet up with some of my readers while I'm there! I can also use this to check off number 91 from my Cache Valley Checklist!

So if you're a runner or not, maybe you should also set a goal to run in a 5k and become more active and fit! I'm so excited for this event and think it'll be lots of fun! I can't wait to see you there!

Leave a comment below if you'll be participating in the Color Vibe!

THANKS FOR READING!!! 

Smart Phone Envy

If you follow me on Twitter, you may already know that I have major smart phone envy and Tweet about it a lot. So you're probably thinking that this blog post was bound to happen eventually. You're right. And here it is. 

Once upon a time at my delightful job as a janitor and particular toilet in the women's restroom kept getting clogged. It was a strange occurrence and we couldn't figure it out. After almost a month, a more professional plummer took a look and found something inside the toilet drain, blocking it. What do you suppose this object was? ...an iPhone.

First of all, who drops their phone in the toilet and just flushes it away? I mean seriously! And not even tell anyone! Not even try to find a janitor and be like, "My phone fell in the toilet, can you get it out for me?" Nope. This girl just dropped it in and flushed it down, because apparently she's rich enough to just flush her iPhone down the drain.

Secondly, every person I know who has a smart phone mistreats it like this. Not usually to this extreme, but all my friends with smart phones break their smart phones frequently and have to get them replaced or repaired frequently. (With the exclusion of my parents and other adults, they tend to take good care of their phones.)

My husband, for example, has a smart phone and has dropped it in a river while fishing and has cracked the screen. It's a miracle phone and he's never had to get it repaired, but regardless, even my husband mistreats his smart phone.

I have had the same crappy phone for two years. The worst I've ever put it through was when it was sitting on a glass table that ended up breaking (long story) and the glass shards cut my screen. And that wasn't even my fault! And it's still in working condition, even if it's a horrible condition to begin with.

It seems as though everyone these days has a smart phone, and everyone expects you to have a smart phone too! In class a professor of mine was like, "Get out your phones and look this up for me." But I can't. You see those special square barcodes everywhere that are meant for smart phones and it says the most vague statement then says "Scan for details". I never get to know what that vague statement means. At stores all the times when the cashier asks if I have coupons, when I say no, they usually respond with "You can get coupons right to your smart phone if you download this app." Well that would be nice, but I don't have a smart phone!

Seriously, who doesn't have a smart phone these days? On campus and in class almost everyone I see is playing on their smart phones. So how can I not suffer from smart phone envy?

I think I deserve a smart phone. After breaking a laptop, a camera, and an iPod, I've learned to take super good care of my technology. Although technically the laptop first went bad when my roommate slammed it in her car trunk, the camera got hit while I was on a ride at Disneyland, and the iPod fell off a table; none of which prove I take bad care of my stuff, only that I'm unlucky sometimes. But just look at my Kindle Fire. I've had it for almost two years and I take super good care of it and it is still in perfect condition. And considering I've been wanting a smart phone since forever, I'd definitely take good care of it.

I'm sick of being judged and left out for not having a smart phone. It's so unfair that our world is now prejudice against those with simple phones. I feel like I can't do all the things the smart phone people can. I can get lost because I don't have GPS on my phone. I can't get coupons right to my phone. I can learn what the vague sentence means without a smart phone. I can't use Snapchat or Instagram without a smart phone...

...And trust me, I've tried to use Instagram without a smart phone but they are very much against it. I have a whole lot to say on this subject, but that'll be for another day... Grrr...

So if you've made it to the end of this rant, you are well aware of the fact that I WANT A SMART PHONE!! I suffer from major smart phone envy and I just don't think it's fair, because I wouldn't drop my phone in the toilet and flush it away.

Do you suffer from smart phone envy? Leave a comment below and let me know I'm not the only person in the world without a smart phone! 

THANKS FOR READING!! 

Ultimate Valentine Card Exchange

Since I'm hosting the link-up/giveaway you would think my Valentine would be more elaborate, however, with a broken laptop things didn't turn out that way. I had to search Google for a long time to find another picture of Clyde the Cow, I almost resorted to another cow picture, but I just couldn't do it without Clyde, who has been the symbol of my blog since the very beginning.

If you haven't already, please link up your E-Valentine for the Ultimate Valentine Card Exchange!! If you don't know what it is, I'm simply asking other blogs to make a simple Valentine, like mine above, and link it up on my blog post FOUND HERE. You can then vote for your five favorites and the blogger with the most votes wins a $25 gift card to Target! Try to make a Valentine that reflects you and your blog to make the link-up more fun! Please tell all your blogging friends to join in the fun as well!

Thank you for reading and don't forget to enter the 1st Annual Ultimate Valentine Card Exchange!!! 

Song of the Week: For the Love of a Daughter // Happy

I listen to Pandora every morning while getting ready. It's so much fun! Lately my Pandora is obsessed with this song, and honestly, I am too. As I've said so very many times on this blog, I LOVE DEMI LOVATO!! I'll be honest and say her new CD isn't my favorite, but I just love her as a person. I want so very much to meet her because she is such an inspiration to me. I love this song so much because of the power and emotion behind her voice. There is no denying that this song really means something to her.

I also want to add in another song for this week. I swear every time I was driving this week this song came on the radio. I had this as the Song of the Week previously though so it's not the official song this week, but I just wanted to add it in, and it will also be on the Spotify playlist of this year's songs. So without any further ado, I present Happy:

It's February!! Don't forget about the Ultimate Valentine Card Exchange! You could win a $25 Target gift card if you participate! CLICK HERE to learn more and to enter to win!