A Brand New Day

Hello friends! The following playlist is a short list of songs that were buzzing through my head while writing this post. So click play and get reading!!

Today is a special day for me, today begins the change from working 40 hours a week to 30 hours a week. Now you're probably wondering "Kaylee, why would you want to work less hours and get paid less money when you're always talking about how poor you are?" Well calm down, I'm getting to it. 

I truly believe that my issues with work began when I found out I was pregnant last August. There were so many thoughts going through my head at that time... Can I even work 40 hours a week while pregnant and sick? Should I continue this job after I have the baby? How will we ever afford this baby? Would I be better off working part-time when the baby comes? Is this even a job I want long-term?

I was feeling conflicted and stressed during my pregnancy, mainly because of my job. Each day it was getting harder and harder to go into work, and it wasn't because of the morning sickness. I no longer felt the same drive for my job or desire to be there. But I kept telling myself, "I'm doing this for my baby, so we can give him/her a good life." 

And then I lost my baby. And I no longer knew why I kept going to work. 

Now I'm not saying I have a bad job. I actually love what I do. I get to listen to my iTunes music and look over bills and solve issues, like puzzles (I love puzzles). The company I work for is great, I'm paid well, they supply me with good health insurance, and the company truly cares for its employees. [And it's always hiring so if you're in Cache Valley and need a job, I can hook you up!]

But even with loving what I do, my desire to go into work kept getting lower and lower through pregnancy, miscarriage, and postpartum depression (which I never knew could happen after a miscarriage, but that's what my therapist diagnosed me with... my miscarriage messed me up a bit you guys...) Every morning I would feel like crying, not wanting to go into work. Once I was there I was fine, but I just could not understand why I spent eight hours of my day there.

Let me go into how it was; I would wake up, drag myself out of bed after a long sleepless night, get myself ready, force Chris to wake up and drive me to work, then I'd sit for hours til Chris picked me up for lunch, go home eat, entertain the puppy for a while, go back to work, sit for hours, then get off work, go home, have no energy or motivation left to do anything, and sit in my bed to write or watch YouTube (but mainly the YouTube thing). 

Having battled depression for years, I decided years ago that I would only do things that make me happy. And I have not been happy for a long time. So I decided to make a change.

I will now only be working 30 hours a week, hopefully allowing myself more time to do things that I want. I want to go to the gym and pursue my dream since high school of teaching a gym class. I want to write in my books more. I want to continue making YouTube videos. I want to blog and make this blog more successful. I want to be able to take my knowledge and experiences with depressing, self-harm, and suicide to talk with other people struggling, to inspire them that things get better, and to be able to make a difference in someone's life.

And while I'll admit, laziness was a factor in not accomplishing those things, I am done spending most my time at a job I'm barely happy with to keep me from doing these things anymore.

Yes, it will be a struggle financially for a while, but my personal health and happiness is more important.

I have stories, personal and fictional, that I want to share with the world and I've made so many excuses on why I've never told them before. But when I go to the root of those reasons, most of them were stemmed from work. I'm not going to make excuses anymore and I'm going to give myself more time in the day to get these things done.

I'm truly blessed and grateful that my husband is very supportive of this decision. His first priority is me, and he has stood by me these past few months as I struggled with so many emotions and tried to figure out the best way to handle all this. He is amazing. I can't begin to think how I could possibly handle all this without him. He's my rock.

I've also been very fortunate to have an understanding family, who loves me and supports me no matter what I do. I love them so much and that they are always looking out for me, and want to best for me.

And a huge thank you to my boss and the company I work for. They've been very accommodating and understanding of my situation. I truly do work for a wonderful company and I'm glad we've been able to come up with a solution that allows me to stay at my job while still giving me more time for myself.

The first song on the playlist above has been stuck in my head for weeks now as I've sorted out this decision:

I'm so happy and excited for this change in my life. I believe it will give me more time to blog and talk with you more, you are all my friends and I love you. I can always count on you to be supportive of me as well, and for that I am truly grateful. 

I'm working on my happiness, and that's always been my priority, and I'm happy to make a change to help me reach it.

Happy (Grati-) Tuesday - 11/24/15

If you saw my post on Saturday, you may know that I am not entirely happy. But it's the week of Thanksgiving and I truly do have so much to be grateful for. So in the fashion of my typical Happy Tuesday posts, here's a list of the things I am grateful for... which also bring me happiness. 

Family that loves me unconditionally

Friends that stay by my side through everything

Chris (oh my goodness, so super grateful for Chris, for forever)

This song for helping me through anything and everything and giving me my life-long mantra

This song for making the tears stop and helping me move on

And this song for making me dance and smile despite my sadness

Having a job that I'm good at and get paid for

Always having enough money to eat and pay bills, even if there isn't much left over

Having a laptop to type out my thoughts and imagination onto

That I have a big imagination

My apartment and bed

Parents who always trust and believe in me, and never stop trying to protect me

Netflix for entertaining me

Books for letting me escape inside of them

How to Train Your Dragon for being my favorite of all favorites

The ability to be be healthy and fit

My new fun hair

Pictures for letting me capture moments and memories

Food of all kinds

Cows for making me smile

Blankets and pillows for being the best cuddle-ers behind Chris

That I am a wife to the most amazing man

That I was able to gain an education

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

That I have a testimony of the gospel

The knowledge that I will someday become a mother

The knowledge that despite how difficult it is sometimes, I am strong enough to fight my depression

  That my Father in Heaven is always watching over me 

That Chris will continue to love me forever and make me happy

That I am a warrior.

Happy Tuesday 10/6/15 - Blogtober Day 6

Getting a great review at work

St. George trip

Roadtrip with the family

How To Train Your Dragon fruitsnacks

Catching up with my friend Lindsay

Autumn is here!! 

New clothes

Paco's Tacos

Chris for being the greatest husband in the world

Happy Tuesday 8/25/2015

Woodkid

Having such incredible and kind parents

Playing One Night Ultimate Werewolf

Work Lagoon Day

Swimming

Cafe Rio quesadillas

Having a husband who will give me anything I want (even when I'm being a little too selfish)

Priesthood blessings

Raspberry flavored things

Raspberries

How long my hair is getting

Finding time to relax

Happy Tuesday 6/16/2015

Devin coming home!!! 

Knowing the last Farnes brother gets home in two weeks!!! 

The thought of seeing Chris with all his brothers for the first time since I met him!!! 

Jimmy Johns for Tweeting me back

New Facebook followers! (Welcome and thank you!!)

Demi Lovato

This Demi song, this Demi song, and this Demi song

That last song especially though

Like seriously, if you haven't already, click on the link and listen

That song saves me

Warm weather

Summertime

My lunchtime nature walks

Chris for saving me from a wasp in our bedroom

Pizza

Doing better at work

Starting up #FashionFriday posts again

My mom for listening and loving and being all around amazing

__________________________________________________________________________

Hey friends, so as you know my Happy Tuesday posts are always just like the above list. No explanations, just the simple things in life that have made me happy the past week. But I just want you all to be aware that I am currently struggling. If you've ready any past posts on my blog you've probably learned by now that I suffer from depression... and it's been bad lately. We're working on it and this week has already been so much better than last week, but I wanted to tell you that making these Happy Tuesday posts has been helping me a lot. Simply taking time to think about the little things making me happy has changed everything. Finding gratitude for the little things and being a bit more positive is doing wonders for my emotional health. I didn't write a post last week and I probably should have considering how bad things got last week, but I really want to encourage my readers to participate in Happy Tuesdays with me. They are helping me and maybe they can help you too. Even if you're late (like I was today) on writing your blog post, tweet, Tumblr post, Instagram photo, or Facebook post, be sure to tag it with #HappyTuesdays so I can see it too. 

I love all my readers and I hope that your week is amazing and you remember to find the small positive things in your life that make you happy. 

Happy Tuesday 4/28/15

My writing project

The finale of Chuck (tears, so many tears...)

This video

Feeling successful

Getting faster at work

The Avengers comes out Friday

Tax returns

BuzzFeed quizzes

Gym visits

My laptop

Painting my nails

My fish Duke

And Chris for making life better when things get hard

Happy Tuesdays are about making a list of the things that have made me happy. No details, no stories, just the simple beautiful things in life that bring happiness and joy.

If you'd like to join in, stop by every Tuesday and share your post with me!

Happy Tuesday 4/7/15

Easter

Easter egg hunts

General Conference

Writing

Winning a necklace

Getting 10 new Twitter followers this week (WHAT?!?)

Massive paycheck (all that overtime was so worth it)

Jimmy Johns

This month's Pinterest Project (more on that soon)

Suspenseful Chuck episodes

Seeing Insurgent (even though I hated it)

New makeup routines

Jokes at work

And my very best friend Lauren's birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!! 

I wanted a funny picture of us and this was the winner. 

Tooth Pain

So it's been a while since I've written something real. This blog used to only be about me telling stories and venting to you, but a lot has changed on this blog recently. I love the new changes, but I still want it to be the way it was. So today I'm venting to you.

For the past three days I've been in constant pain because my wisdom tooth is attacking me. I just need to get it taken out right away because it seems as though the pain won't stop until I do. Unfortunately my dental insurance doesn't start till Wednesday (although, I'm pretty lucky it's that soon considering the alternatives). But I haven't been sleeping because I wake up in pain and I can't eat hard things... or anything... And I'm basically living on pain killers.

So that's the excitement of my life.

I've been working a lot of overtime lately. We've basically been living paycheck to paycheck which means something like needing to get my wisdom tooth removed is impossible financially. But we've figured something out to make to work this time and I've been putting in a lot of overtime to get some extra money.

Chris has been applying for jobs and internships lately. We had a plan that I would work and he would focus on school, but while we've been able to get along fine that way, it's still been difficult. Chris finding a job will definitely help out. He had a big interview for the Deseret News, which would be awesome since his major is journalism. That's what we're hoping for even if it means we have to be apart for the summer since it's in Salt Lake.

I love my job. I feel like I don't get to tell ya'll enough how much I love my job. But I really truly do. It can be stressful and people make mistakes, but it's amazing. I have great work friends and we have lots of fun together in and out of work. I'm honestly so grateful I found this job that's so amazing to me.

I've been doing really well, been keeping myself busy, but happy. As I've said so many times before, I have a goal to do the things that make me happy. And while I can't afford to do some of the things I want to do, I've been keeping myself happy doing other things just at home. It's been good and even though I haven't been blogging as much, which makes me sad, I happy with the way my life is going.

We've been watching Chuck a lot lately. It's awesome and we like it a lot. Thanks to my sister for sort of introducing it to us!

I don't have anything else to say. But thanks to my loyal readers for all the love and support you give me. You're all amazing and I love you all. So thank you!

Happy Tuesday 3/24/15

My sister visiting for the weekend and more

Pepperidge Farm Factory

Hair that works out

Husband making curry

Eating out

Going the THE ballet

Watching Chuck

Ariana Grande's newest album , mostly these songs: this one, this one, this one, and this one.

How my nails are long so they click on tables

Getting more bills at work so I have stuff to do

Working overtime and making more money

Good smelling hand-sanitizer

Happy Tuesdays are about making a list of the things that have made me happy. No details, no stories, just the simple beautiful things in life that bring happiness and joy.

If you'd like to join in, stop by every Tuesday and share your post with me!

The Things I'm Most Grateful For

Happy Thanksgiving Week!! This week I am giving you three different posts all about gratitude and what I am thankful for. The first is this one, the things I'm most grateful for, then I have the places I'm most grateful for, and lastly the people I'm most grateful for. I have so much gratitude in my heart this time of year and I wanted to share it all with you.

Music -Music has been a huge part of my life for a very very long time. My sister and I used to sing together in church while my mom played piano and I always felt surrounded by music growing up. Music makes me happy and I'm so grateful for it.

Rain -It almost feels like our move to Texas this summer never happened. It just feels like I skipped a summer and never left Logan. But I will always remember the Texas rain and how beautiful it was and the lightning and thunder. I would open up our porch door and sit inside just watching it rain, specks of water coming inside. Rain makes me so incredibly happy and watching and listening to rain is one of the greatest things in the world. I'll also add in snow falling, I don't love snow, but I love sitting inside with a cup of hot chocolate and watching the snow fall because it's one of the most peaceful things in the world.

Books -Books allow us to escape into a different world, be different people, and do things we would never normally do. I'm in love with books and the way that they make me feel.

Warm Blankets -There is nothing better than after a long day of work getting into my bed and snuggling among my many blankets (and husband). It's such a good feeling and it gives me a moment of peace that is always needed.

My Apartment -Chris and I have lived in four different apartments since getting married a year and a half ago. That's pretty ridiculous. Because of that, even now it just doesn't feel permanent. I haven't put up any pictures yet because I keep thinking we're going to leave again. But regardless, I am grateful that I have an apartment and a place I can call home. And despite having our door knocked down by firemen in the middle of the night, I do feel safe here. We don't plan on staying in Logan forever, but it's nice to have a home.

Having A Job -I am so insanely grateful for my job. I stare at a computer screen all day and sometimes I get really bored, but I genuinely love my job because I feel appreciated and people are kind to me. I'm making friends and I get treated really well. More than that, I'm making enough money to allow my husband to not work and focus on school, which was a big decision that was important to both of us.

Writing -As you may know, it's my life goal to write a book. It's a struggle lately with no computer, and too many ideas swirling around in my head, but I'm so grateful that this is the only thing that I've ever truly wanted to do. I've wanted to do so many things in my life, teach, write for a magazine, dance, etc. And writing is the only things that has stayed with me and that I've pursued my entire life. I'm so grateful that I can do it, and I'm grateful for doing it because it makes me happy.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints -I was born and raised in the LDS church and because of that, I have taken it for granted many a time. Sometimes I forget how important this church and this gospel is in my life and am just going to church and ignoring everything else. Lately I've realized how much I need this church, remembering the moments that it saved me and changed my life. I truly am grateful to be a member of the LDS church and I hope I never forget that again.

Writing On This Blog -It certainly may not seem like it lately, but I am so grateful for this blog. I love writing on it so much! It makes me happy and it lets me express myself through writing, which has always been my favorite thing. I hope that I keep moving forward with this blog, that I keep writing posts for many years to come because this has been an opportunity to meet people, share my ideas, and I hope I never once take this opportunity for granted.

Cows -It may seem childish, but every time I see a cow I get excited. I don't know exactly what it is, why I'm in love with cows so much, but they make me happy and my life goal is to be happy. Cows help me fulfill my life goal and I am truly grateful for them.

What I'm Doing With My Life

Some of you may recall back in February when I wrote a post called "I Hate College" and the second part of it "I Greatly Dislike College". You can click on the links if your interested, but basically all they talked about was how much I hate college. It makes me depressed, I get incredibly stressed out, and I struggle with getting good grades... a lot. College makes me feel stupid when it should be making me feel smarter and smarter each year.

Because of my very strong opinions about college, a few of you have recently asked me if I'm still in college. I talked briefly about my new job and how I work full time but I never really explained why I'm working full time and no longer going to school. So here is a brief summary of what I'm doing with my life:

I don't know. 

Pretty much I decided that I'm done feeling depressed all the time. My depression isn't something that just goes away, I have to face it all the time. Even during the happiest moments of my life I'm still clouded over with my depression. But having dealt with it for a while, I've learned that I can fight my depression a lot better if I'm in those happy moment. 

I decided that I would stop doing things that make me unhappy and focus my life on what brings me joy. Writing brings me joy, so I've been writing in my books a lot. Working brings me joy because I feel like I'm actually doing something positive for myself, my husband, and our future. Blogging brings me joy, but you wouldn't know since I've been the worst blogger for the past few months and haven't written anything (sorry). 

But college never once brought me joy. I spent four years in college and it just kept getting worse and worse. But another important factor, I didn't even feel like I was in the right major! I couldn't keep subjecting myself to being miserable and putting myself in debt for something I didn't want. 

I'm not saying I'm giving up on college forever. There is a great chance I will go back someday and finish what I've started... once I figure out exactly it is I want to do. 

All I know is that I want to be a writer, and I've found that I can still write just fine without knowing how to analyze a Shakespearean soliloquy in ten pages. Even though I love most Shakespeare plays, I don't find it necessary to beat one line into the ground over and over again trying to analyze every single letter! As long as I understand it and enjoy the story, aren't I fulfilling Shakespeare's intention? I love reading but I get so annoyed analyzing every little detail of books and writing about it for pages and pages. 

Basically, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I expect my life to be an adventure and I don't really want to confine myself to one thing. When I figure out my life calling I will probably go back to college, but for now I'm enjoying working and writing and spending time with my husband. I love my life and I'm having fun just being happy and letting it take me wherever. 

Besides, I did earn my associates degree, so that's something, right? 

My New Job!

Today actually marks four weeks at my job, so it's not entirely new, but I have so much to tell!!

So when we moved back to Logan we were incredibly blessed. In one week we found an amazing apartment, I found work, Chris was offered a position writing for the USU Statesman, and my relatives let us stay with them as we waited for our apartment to be ready.

But probably my most favorite was finding a job. Not just a job, a full-time job for a billing utility company filled with wonderful and kind people. It's a job I honestly enjoy.

I sit in front of a computer for eight hours a day making sure the bills were processed correctly. Or, if we're using my work lingo: I QC bills in Yoda, using The Force to make sure they are processed correctly and Ewok any bills that aren't. Yep, I work in a place with tons of Star Wars references, which is kind of great because I love Star Wars. R2D2 has been my ringtone since I got my phone in February. I'm kind of a nerd but it's fine.

What's even better is that I'm actually good at my job. I worked eight hours a day during the summer but it was so hard because it was just demanding, a negative environment, and being on the phone all day isn't my forte. But this job I can do and do well and I honestly enjoy waking up early and going to work.

Chris is in his last year of school and we decided he should solely focus on school, meaning he is not currently working. He writes for the paper but it doesn't pay very much and he was trying to get a job as a soccer ref, but we both agreed that I'll work full time so he can focus on school. So far the arrangement is working really well for us. I'm actually making enough money on my own to sustain us. It's not like we're rich, but we can get by which is all we ask for in life after a year of never knowing if we'll be able to pay our bills.

Everything is honestly falling into place. :)

I Love My Husband

This is a short story about my husband that I wanted to share simply because it makes me happy. 

My husband and I have been working for the same company this summer. He is doing sales and I work in their office. Every morning the sales team comes in for a meeting. Chris always comes in, gives me a kiss, and goes to his meeting. After the meeting he always gives me a kiss before leaving. Sometimes we have conversations and other times we don't, depending if I'm on a phone call or not.

Today my husband came in gave me a quick kiss and went off to his meeting. I worked hard for the next hour until the meeting was over and the sales people started leaving. During the meeting they discussed a competition to see who can work more seven hour days consecutively and the winner gets an iPad.

Chris didn't really want to win because he doesn't really want an iPad. But then he remembered I want one.

So after the meeting today Chris walks proudly out of the back, past my desk, and announces that he is going to win that iPad for me, and he leaves the building. He then walks back in and comes to my desk to give me a kiss and tells me he was going to give up but he wants to win it for me.

After he left my coworker, Angel, tells me that she hopes her daughter finds a husband as kind as mine, and I felt truly special. Chris really is incredible and I am so blessed to have him. I love my husband!!!

(Later he called and said that a few of the other guys on the sales team are trying to help Chris win for me by sabotaging the others. I feel so lucky! Ha ha!)

Being Successful

Have you ever just been in the moment and you start getting deep in conversation and end up saying something wonderful? Well that doesn't happen to me much, but it did last night! I don't want to get into the full story because it's personal between me and my husband, but we made up a new definition for success that I would like to share with you all.


I think our society is incredibly competitive. With sports all over TV, celebrities pressuring us to look a certain way, Facebook and other social media showcasing all our friend's triumphs and how wonderful their lives may seem, and basically any work or educational environment is filled with competition and all these things can really just bring us down! It's hard to stay positive when you are constantly comparing yourself to other people and in this world it's so hard not to make these comparisons!

BUT STOP!!

Take a breath. Breathe it out and relax. Now listen:

You are an incredible person! More than that, you are successful! 

Now I may not know you personally, but I know that if you're reading this then you've already had tons of accomplishments in your life! When we're babies and toddlers our parents make such a big deal over our first successes: learning to roll over, learning to crawl, learning to walk, learning to speak, even learning to sleep through the whole night is considered a huge success to them! But as we grow older all those little successes we had as children because normal and mundane because they are things we do everyday.

But what if we took that idea, how learning to roll over is considered a huge success and apply it to what we do now. As an adult it's hard to see anything you do as being successful especially in such a competitive world. But we are successful, everyday! And I think it's important to celebrate the small successes in life!

Maybe you made mashed potatoes for the first time (that was my success today), or maybe you got the courage to speak to your crush, or maybe you ate healthy today and avoided that brownie, or maybe your only success was pulling yourself out of bed and making sure you got to work on time! Those are all successes!

In this competitive world it's easy to belittle the small success we make everyday. I made mashed potatoes today, wa hoo, on Facebook I learned my friend is building a house. How does my success compare with that?

That's the point, we can't compare our successes to other people!

Success should not be measure by beating other people and comparing yourself to other people. You can be successful only by beating yourself everyday. You are successful by doing something that you like and that makes you happy. Who cares what other people are doing? Who cares what they think? If you think that making mashed potatoes is a small success in your life, than it is!!

It has been really difficult lately to watch all my friends graduate college. I feel like my college experience has led me nowhere. It is so hard to not compare myself to all my friends as I see them graduate and get good jobs. But I need to stop comparing myself to others. I need to only compare myself to my past self. Am I better off than I was yesterday? If yes, than I am being successful in my own life.

The richest man in the world may not actually be successful if he isn't happy with his life. So many of us may worship him and wish we were like him, but we can't compare ourselves to him. We can only compare our level of success to ourselves.

It doesn't matter if I haven't graduated college yet, I am successful in my own life because I feel like I'm going down the right path and I'm doing what makes me happy. That is the definition of success. It's not comparing yourself to others, it's doing what makes you happy and makes you feel good and proud of yourself, no matter how little those accomplishments may be... like making mashed potatoes.

May Review

I debated on doing a review this month, but when I realized it was suddenly the end of the month and I hadn't written like any blog posts I felt like I needed to get a review done to kind of explain where I've been.

So if you've been completely out of the loop, I am now in Texas. My husband decided to take a summer sales job here so we packed up the car and moved to San Antonio, well technically right outside of San Antonio. It was so crazy the drive here took us three days (because we chose to stop each night) and then we got here and had to sleep on someone's floor, and then I got offered a job as an office help for the company Chris is selling for and then our lives just turned into working like crazy.

Okay, I only work three days a week so that was kind of a lie, but it is for eight hours a day which is much more than I've been doing in the past. Chris on the other hand works six days a week... all day. I pretty much only see him for dinner, sleep, and on Sundays. He does get off a bit earlier on Saturdays but we've been hanging out with his new work team so we haven't had a ton of alone time.

May 11th was our one year anniversary!!! I honestly am still in shock we've been married a year. Time has literally flown by! We didn't do much to celebrate. We decided not to do gifts and we just wrote letter saying why we love each other. We read them to each other and it was just really sweet and a memorable moment.

And then the month disappeared. I worked out a lot, until recently. I'm working on losing some weight this summer. I want to lose enough to fit back into my wedding dress, that's the goal. And I have been working on a special project but I'm not ready to reveal that to the world because it still has a lot of work to go through. But actually, this "special project" is part of the reason I haven't been blogging on here as much, so I do apologize.

I feel like we're finally making money instead of digging ourselves more and more into debt. It's been fantastic! Sure we still have a lot of money in student loans to pay off, but this summer we're just working hard to create a stable financial base for ourselves, and it's been working really well in our favor.... and thank you so much to the company we work for for paying our rent, because I don't know if we could afford this awesome place without you!

Oh! I've been obsessed with Pokemon lately. Yes, I'm such a dork, but I watched something scary and Chris was sleeping so I wanted to watch something silly to help me forget the scary thing and Pokemon was the first thing I saw, and I've always been secretly in love with Pikachu so I decided to give it a shot. And now I'm obsessed. I even bought myself a plush Pikachu online. Literally obsessed.

I'm going to try to take more pictures, I don't know why I haven't been, Texas is gorgeous, so hopefully you'll be seeing more pictures of our new home up on the blog soon.

Alright, was there anything else? Not that I can think of. Well, this review is short and sweet, but so was the month of May for me. Thank you for reading and have a fabulous day!!

Now Coming to You From Texas

Hello blogging world! I am now coming to you from the hot land of Texas. And honestly going from cold Logan straight to Texas heat is a big change for me. It's hot! But last night when we got here and the sun was setting, the weather felt so good! I love warm nights. :)

This post is me just rambling about what's been going on recently with our move. It may not be the most exciting post, but it's informative. Ha ha.

I wasn't able to get into the apartment until today at about noon, but our apartment is really nice and most our stuff is already put away because we only brought what fit in our car, so we don't have much. Because of this, though, it still hasn't really sunk in that I'm living in Texas now. I mean, the majority of my stuff is still in Logan and our families are in Utah. When it finally sinks in that I live here now, I'll let you know.

Chris has been working his new job all day. He's so great! For anyone new or unaware, we moved here because Chris got a summer sales job selling pest control. And as of this morning, I now work as a receptionist for the same company! Yay! That's the easiest I've ever gotten a job before and I'm so happy about it! I loved my last receptionist job and it's something I've been wanting to do again.

We don't have internet in our apartment yet so I'm in the apartment's office area, which is super nice. Here is my current view:

(Except now there's a girl in that chair, and yes, my husband has a Liverpool screen saver on his laptop, what did you expect?? And if you're wondering why I'm not using my laptop, here's why.) 

We came in this morning and they were so kind and immediately offered us coffee, which we don't drink but we appreciated the kind gesture. The staff here has been incredibly kind through the abnormally long process of getting our apartment, and since Chris left for work it was all me.

Here's a few more pictures of our apartment:

Funny story, our GPS app had the slight wrong address so we were passing by these buildings and Chris says, "Those are nice, I wish we were living there." And he mentioned that from a distance they looked like cow spots (which obviously made me love them). And when we figured out the correct address we were super happy to be living here! The above is the building we are in. We have a small apartment with a living room, bedroom, big bathroom with massive tub, big closet, and a lovely kitchen:

This apartment is so incredibly nice compared to our last one! I love it! I'm sure Chris loves in too but he hasn't actually been in our apartment yet so we can't be sure.

Since we arrived last night, we had to sleep on the floor of Chris's coworker's apartment, which is right next door to ours. We had couch cushions under us and I actually slept really well. We met many of Chris's coworkers last night and watched Frozen together (which I realized I really do like, I had only seen it once before so I was still on the fence about it). I got to meet two more wives that are along on the journey, they are super nice and today they helped me carry everything from the car to the apartment, since all the men were gone.

Since I've been feeling friend-less for a long time, last night was crazy when the two girls were asking me all these questions about what I like to do and getting my phone number and texting me today. I'm honestly not used to it. I haven't had anyone meet me and try to be my friend in a long time, it was slightly overwhelming because it all happened so fast but I'm so happy we're friends and they've already been so helpful and I know we'll have a great summer together.

One of them was supposed to do the receptionist job but decided she didn't really want to and she had other job opportunities, so she passed it on to me and I'm so so grateful because I really wanted to find a job here soon and I didn't have to do any work to get it and I already have one and start on Wednesday. I feel so incredibly blessed already!

The drive to Texas was a long one. We left on Friday and we got a much later start than we thought we would, so we didn't make it to our reserved hotel. Instead we drove until we were tired and found a different hotel, which happened to be cheaper. The next day we did the same, we just drove until we were tired and found a hotel.

That second night we were using one of my apps to find hotels and we came across a cheap one, but when were were searching for it, the address led us to one of the scariest most ghetto places I've ever seen and honestly, I was freaked out. So I was upset so Chris drove us to the nicer area of town and we paid a little extra for a nice, and safe hotel.

Then on Sunday we drove the rest of the way to San Antonio. Chris decided he wants to live in Texas; they play country music on all the radio stations, they put gravy on everything, the fishing is good and they sell fish at a lot of restaurants, and he absolutely loves big cities. I don't know if I'm completely sold on living in Texas forever, but for now it's been really great.

Oh! So on Saturday during the drive I begin to tell Chris that tornados are one of my new biggest fears. They freak me out. And that night I turn on the TV and it has a show on about tornados! So I leave it on because it has lots of information and tips on what to do in a tornado, thinking it will help me overcome my fear, but it doesn't really. And then we wake up the next day and as I'm driving I see in the distance a mini sand tornado! It was just sand and it wasn't that powerful, but neither of us had seen anything like it before in real life so it was kind of crazy! And it went over the road right in front of us. Chris tried to record it for me, but he apparently doesn't know how to use my phone.

During the trip I recorded some fun moments. I'm hoping to make a special video montage at some point but there is a great possibility that it'll never happen. So don't get your hopes up. Just know that we had a supremely long but fun drive and we enjoyed each other's company.

Speaking of us being together, this Sunday is our one year anniversary!! Can you believe I've been married a year? I sure can't! It's been a weird and crazy year and while people say your first year of marriage is the easiest, I believe that things are going to be changing for the better this next year, the best is yet to come! We've already been seeing changes for the better with this Texas move! And we are both so excited for what is to come.

This is an exciting new change in our lives and that's why this post is so long, because there is just so much changing and there is just so much to tell! But I do apologize if you found this post super boring... but no one was forcing you to read it.

Don't forget about my Book Club starting back up this month!!! There are two books this month and you don't have to read both but you're more than welcome to. Also don't forget to donate and help spread the word about this month's Charity of the Month, the Make a Wish Foundation. Thank you all so much for reading and I know I'll have a lot more stories about living in Texas soon!!

Oh! And one last picture, starting out our road trip to Texas:

Originally posted on my Instagram, feel free to follow me!! 

On Breaking My Back

Well that's just a lie. My back is not broken. Speaking of broken backs, remember in Dark Knight Rises when Bain just throws Batman over his leg and breaks his back? That was awful! And honestly, that movie has so many flaws. I don't love it as much as the first two. Well the second one also has a flawed story and it scares me, but Heath Ledger made an incredibly convincing villain. Best performance ever! But yeah, I don't like the third Batman. Watch the Honest Trailer for it, because I wholeheartedly agree.

PS, I may have had too many pain killers. So this whole post will be some fun rambling to tell the story of my injured back! Yay!

So I'm a janitor right? Right! And I wear a big vacuum on my back that makes me look like a ghost buster and dumb college guys who think they can flirt with me think they're funny and clever to say I look like a ghost buster. And this backpack vacuum causes tension on my back. I also lift lots of heavy trash bags and bins and etc.

And I know how you're supposed to lift with your knees, but when the garbage can is taller and goes up above your waist and you're trying to put the bag out of the bin, at one point it's going to put more pressure on your back.

Anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself.

So every other day I switch between vacuuming and getting trash, trading off with my coworker Earl (who is super nice and good to work with). Today (oh wait, I mean yesterday because I'm not publishing this until tomorrow... or today...) I was getting trash and I go through the third floor to get it out of all the offices and a particular office threw away like two dozen cans of soda, full cans of soda (I'm sorry if you wanted me to steal one for you). So all that soda plus more trash creates a pretty heavy bag of trash.

After I was done with the third floor I headed down to the second floor where I was supposed to have a new trash can, but it wasn't there. So since I needed room in the trash can to get the trash on the second floor I decided (a horrible decision really (Tangled quote anyone??)) to just take out the current bag of trash, set it aside so I could take it out later, and get on with the second floor trash.

So I prep myself, bending my knees like a good girl, to lift this giant, heavy bag out of the bin. But again, the bin goes up to about my belly button, so at some point to get the bag out I had to put some pressure on my back. And while my arms were strong enough to lift the bag, I did not expect the intense amount of pressure that would end up on my back. I ended up knocking the bin over as I was in so much pain!!

I couldn't move for a few minutes and let my back kind of adjust and let the pain settle. So I drug the bag over to a corner and just let it sit there and went on with the second floor trash, all the while feeling a small amount of pain in my back.

Later I had to go grab that heavy bag again, put it back in the bin, and later again get the bag from the bin into the trash compactor. All the while adding more pressure and pain to my back.

Growing up in dance and with really bad knees (seriously, I've been told my three doctors already I'm going to have arthritis someday) I've been really good at ignoring pain. I handle pain well and don't complain too much about it, so if I do, it means it's really bad.

When I got home from work and was finally able to settle and keep from moving, I realized just how much pain my back was really in. And having never broken a bone or had any serious injuries, I had never been in this much pain before!

So my husband came home and gave me pain killer and now here we are! It still really hurts, my doctor cousin gave me some advice, and someone gave me advice on how to prevent back injury (thanks, that would have been nice a few hours ago). But I had some bacon, which makes me happy, and now I'm going to sleep! Hopefully I didn't majorly injure my back permanently. That would suck.

Follow me on Twitter to see how my back is feeling tomorrow!! 

... or today, I guess... 

THANKS FOR READING!! 

I'm Moving to Texas???

Alright people, let's get real here for a moment. Life is crazy and filled with many unexpected twists and turns. I had no idea that after getting married I wouldn't be able to find a job and we'd be super poor and have to move and do all these things because of our lack of money. I had no idea starting out in college that I would be here for eight years, changing my major three times. And I had no idea that an opportunity would come and we would move to Texas for the summer....

What??? 

Yeah, you heard me right. WE'RE MOVING TO TEXAS FOR THE SUMMER!!!

It's alright to be majorly surprised because I'm super surprised too. Here's the whole story. Chris got approached by some old mission friends about a job opportunity for the summer. He would be selling pest control in Texas for the summer. My husband thought about it but didn't really consider it as an option. We have a whole life here, it feels like we just moved and were finally getting settled in, and we both have jobs here.

Chris went down to Salt Lake and they took him out to dinner and explained the whole job to him. Chris became more interested but still didn't really want to uproot our little family despite the ridiculous amounts of money he could get.

Then, only a few days later, at his Papa Johns job, he delivered a large order of pizzas to a similar type of company. They paid the bill then handed him a $75 tip. Chris took the money happily, we've been struggling financially for months and $75 is a lot to us. But this tip got him to thinking...

This company handed him the $75 like it was worthless to them. They had tons of money and we easily able to spend $75 just for a tip. Chris realized that he's lucky to get a $1 tip here and he began thinking about the job offer more. If he were to take the job, he could potentially have $75 to spare as a tip.

We then went on our St. George trip where Chris talked with his brother who was offered a similar type job in California. They began comparing their offers, wanting to do something together, but Chris was still on the fence of whether or not we should really go.

After a lovely dinner at his grandma's house, Chris and I went walking hand in hand through the warm St. George neighborhood. We began discussing our options. Much to his surprise I immediately suggested we go to Texas. Because while we have a life here, we may never get an opportunity like this again. Chris is going to graduate soon and I want kids soon (but should wait till I graduate). This is one of the only times it's just us and we'd be able to do something like this.

We discussed it carefully and went over the plan and the different options till we made a decision. We needed to move to Texas.

While we both understand that it'll be a struggle and he will be working constantly, we both agree that a new experience and an adventure like this will be good for us. We are both sad we'll miss out on things at home and have to put everything on hold for a while, we believe that this is the right decision for us.

Obviously, if you live in Texas you have to tell me all about the wonderful things I have to do! I'm considering making something like The Cache Valley Checklist but for Texas and things that we can do in one summer. So if you think I should do that, let me know and if you have things for me to do in Texas please leave a comment or shoot me an email! And whether or not I make I checklist, you can bet I'll be blogging about the whole adventure!

This is a huge change for us and we're both incredibly nervous and excited. But mostly excited. It's an adventure and it'll be a big change, but we're both very happy about our decision.

Things I'm Good At

I got the idea for this post from a Jenna Marbles video on Youtube. I would share the video on here but part of it is inappropriate and I don't want to have that on my blog. So feel free to look it up if you want.

These past few weeks have been difficult for me with school, moving, constant stress, and depression. But things are starting to look up... slightly... I'm still insanely poor and have to pay college tuition on Wednesday... stressful!

Anyways, in an attempt to make myself feel better about myself, here are the things that I am good at. 

I'm really good at driving in the snow. This is good because I live in Northern Utah where it snows a lot. I learned yesterday that some Canadians don't know it snows in Utah. Well, it does. In fact, our license plates sometimes say "Greatest Snow on Earth", although I don't believe that's true. But it does snow a lot, usually from October to May. This year we got a late start on the snow and it's just barely starting up, but that means it'll probably last till summer. There's a saying that there are only two seasons in Utah, winter and road construction, and that's basically true. But yeah, it snows here, today it was -24 degrees when I first went outside. And it's real surprising how many people in Utah cannot drive in the snow, so I'm proud for being good at it.

I'm fairly good at writing papers quickly. Like I should be doing right now. I have my final essay due at midnight tonight and I haven't started it yet. Let me clarify, I haven't started writing the paper, but I've done tons of research and wrote out notes for my paper. It only has to be at minimum three pages so I'm fairly confident I can whip out a good essay before midnight.

I'm good at dancing. It's true. I was in the Ballet West Nutcracker three times, I danced half-time at the Poinsettia Bowl in 2010 (which I will be writing about soon because it's such a good story and my school is in the Poinsettia Bowl this year, GO USU!!!) and I just absolutely love dancing! I've done ballet, jazz, tap, and both Latin and standard ballroom. I'm currently looking for a dancing teaching job because that's one of my main goals in life, to teach dance.

I'm good at making minute rice. And Ramen, and toaster items, and other microwave items. But that's about the extend of my cooking abilities. Oh! But I am good at making cookies!!

I'm good at finding good music. At least I believe I am. Jon McLaughlin and Christina Perri are my two favorites and they are a billion times better than what's popular right now. Like Miley Cyrus? She can't sing. Or all those rappers? They can't sing at all! But Jon and Christina are not only talented singers, but also play the piano, which happens to be my favorite instrument.

I'm good at giving gifts. I absolutely LOVE buying and giving people gifts! It's one of my most favorite things in the world! It's why last year I spent over $200 on Christmas presents for my family, why I gave my husband 24 all Star Wars themed gifts for his 24th birthday, and why I love doing giveaways on this blog. But, alas, I currently have no money so I'm super disappointed this year that I can only give each person on my list one gift, and it has to cost less than $10. I'm so upset. But don't worry because...

I'm good at making cards. I love making creative cards! It's so much fun! I just love crafting really. And, according to my sister, I'm good at writing cute and meaningful notes to people inside said cards. So I will be making special cards for all my family for Christmas in an attempt to make up for lack of good gift giving.

I'm good at sleeping. This is only partially true. I occasionally struggle with falling asleep, but once I'm asleep I'm out and I can sleep forever! That's why I struggled so much with my 8:30am class this semester and why I never look good for 9:00am church. I'd much rather sleep than do anything.

I'm good at making future lesson plans for when I become a teacher. I find it so much fun to explore Pinterest and different teaching blogs and find ideas for school lessons. Not only that, I create my own and save them to an external hard drive. Even though I won't graduate for three and a half years, there's nothing wrong with being prepared, right? :)

I'm good at doing hair. It's true! I am! And I absolutely love doing it! I love playing with my hair and love testing out new styles I find on Pinterest. The only problem is I have super shaky hands so I can only do my own hair, don't ask me to do your hair because it won't turn out as good, but I'm used to it on myself.

I'm good at using Pinterest. Well duh, I mentioned it in the past two things! I'm on Pinterest ALL THE TIME and am super good at pinning things. Not as good at actually doing the things, but I'll get there someday.

I'm good at being neutral. Every year of college my roommates would end up splitting into two groups and hate each other, but none of them hated me and I somehow avoided having to pick sides. I don't even know what I did but it's a talent. I think it's because I don't really care what other's do and am very accepting of others, I'm also super good at never letting my emotions show. So I could hate someone and they would never know. That's totally a talent. But I currently don't have any friends so maybe I'm too neutral...

I'm good at helping others. I have this inner desire to love and help everyone I meet (why don't I have friends again???). I use Charity of the Month on this blog to help others, I volunteer with an elementary school twice a week, I started 12 Days of Service this month, I love doing anything I can to help others and make them happy and I only wish I could do more.

I'm good at being a janitor. Is that something to be proud of? Maybe not, but it pays the bills so I'm happy about it. I'm really good at my job and work hard to make sure I'm one of the best. I've always been a hard worker, no matter what the job and consider that an additional thing I'm good at.

I'm good at people watching. Not a talent, just something I'm good at. I'm also good at not getting caught. I hear the best conversations sometimes and no one even knows...

I'm good at eating French Fries. Put French Fries in front of me and I'll eat them all. Every last crumb, every last grain of salt. I love French Fries! They are quite possibly my favorite food and I crave them everyday.

I'm am incredibly good at talking myself out of buying something. Only with clothes though, with food, not so much. But with clothes I rarely buy new things, even though I hate all my clothes, because I can quickly talk myself out of it. It's a fantastic trait considering I have no money but I'm hoping I can control this ability once I do have money and start to work on a new wardrobe for myself.

I'm good at writing. Or at least I consider myself to be good. I make mistakes, I know that, but everyone makes mistakes occasionally. I believe that we continually learn from our mistakes and when I make a mistake writing on this blog I want for my readers to point it out so I am aware and work harder to avoid doing it again in the future. Not only am I good at writing, but I absolutely LOVE writing. So while I previously said that I was too depressed to write, I'm continually learning that I have to write to keep myself happy. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be writing on this blog as much as I possibly can because it genuinely makes me happy.

November Review

Okay! This November was full of stress! So much stress! But it was a good month, I suppose. :) Things are looking up now so hopefully this December will be better. But I always love November because it's my birthday month and Thanksgiving was fantastic. To read all about my November, keep reading! To see my other Monthly Review posts CLICK HERE. 

First I have to add something from the very end of October. Halloween night after work one of my coworkers hid in a garbage can and scared me. We then pushed him around in the garbage can, scaring other people as well. It was so funny when he scared this random girl walking down the hall, she screamed so loudly! Later, after I had left, they scared one of the nightshift girls and recorded it. I watched it on Facebook and it was so funny and sad! She fell on the floor, screamed, it was crazy! I wish I could share the video on here, but I can't, it's not mine. So I'll just share this random trashcan scare video:

...Luckily that didn't happen at my work. :)


This month went by in the biggest blur of my life. I had so much school work today I honestly don't remember doing anything but homework. But I'm going to try and do this post as accurately as I can.

November 4th was my birthday and one of the best birthdays of my life. You can read all about it by CLICKING HERE. It was so wonderful and I'm so grateful for my family and my husband for doing so much for me that weekend. I had the best time!

I started up Month of Gratitude on my blog again, this time using my Twitter account to write my daily gratitude. My goal was to write a post at the end of each week with all my Twitter posts of the week, but I was only able to do it that first week. I can't decide if I'll write a blog post with all the other Twitter posts, but leave a comment if you'd like me to.

My husband and I celebrated 6 months of marriage!!! Half a year! That's more than some celebrities. Our marriage only gets stronger every day and more than that I just keep loving him more every day. I love Chris so much and I think I could never love him more the next day, but it always happens. It just keeps getting better every day.

We ran out of money at an extreme level and had to make some major changes. I wrote this post and it became my most popular post this month. I'm glad people enjoy the tips that I put in it. Next year I have another post planned with a similar feel to it on how to save up your money and make extra cash, but it won't be written for a while, so stay tuned. THANKS FOR MAKING THIS SUCH A POPULAR POST!!

On November 13th by brother-in-law Sheldon came home from his mission. Since then he's spent a night with us in Logan, we spent a weekend down there with him and I've gotten to know him really well! He's so much fun and it's great to have another brother around!

On November 15th I developed a fear of boxes due to a traumatic experience at work. I don't think I'm as scared as I was near when it happened but it still was a crazy experience. I didn't like it. But it was nothing compared to the experience my favorite blogger had around the same time.

This month I got over 30,000 page views and I can't explain how much it means to me to see that number! I just feel so continually blessed by my blog readers! You guys mean so much to me and I love that you support me in what I'm doing. THANK YOU!!!

I announced this month that my husband and I were moving. It's a big change for us and the place we eventually found isn't nearly as pretty as where we are now, but it will save us money and it will be good for us. Here's the story though, we were hoping to get into the University Family Housing because it would be the best deal (about the same rent price but utilities, cable, and internet was all included, and it was closer to campus so we could save on gas money). We paid the $150 application fee and filled out the form and were excited to move in. There had been constant ads in the paper so we knew they had openings, but we were wrong. Apparently the ad is just constantly in there and they didn't have anything open.

At the same time our current manager told us that our apartment had been rented out and we had to move out the 20th of December. So we thought we might be homeless. I cannot begin to describe how stressed I was at the time because of this (and a ton of tests, presentations, and essays due in school at the same time). My wonderful husband quickly realized how stressed I was and told me to focus on school and he'd find us an apartment. In one day he visited about five different places and texted me and said "I found our new home!" I'll be honest, it wouldn't be my first choice, I'd much rather stay where we are, but we just can't afford it. We can afford this new place and I figure we're only going to be there till we're done with school in about three years, I can handle that.

So in a few weeks we can start moving into our new place. It'll be a crazy time for us but I'll be happy when we get all settled in and can finally start decorating for Christmas. We have so many friends willing to help us and both our parents have trailers and want to come help. We are truly blessed! But the place is unfurnished, so if anyone has a couch they'd like to give us, that would be fabulous. :)

 On November 26th I donated plasma for two reasons. 1. I love helping people and 2. I am desperate for money. But the experience that happened did not go as planned and I went through such a stressful traumatic experience.

My Thanksgiving this year was fantastic! It was the first Thanksgiving I wasn't with my family, so that was weird, but my in-laws are great too. We had a traditional dinner around 1:00 on Thanksgiving day, everything was very delicious and I loved it all! Afterwards I played ping-pong with one of Chris's cousins and we were jumping around, claiming that it helped us do better. :) Then we watched The Hunger Games so Sheldon could see it because we were going to see Catching Fire that night. I then got to experience Walmart Black Friday... on Thursday... and it was crazy!! I wish I had brought my camera in there to show you all the crazies I saw. We got a ton of movies for way cheap and my in-laws bought them for Chris and I for Christmas. Yay! Then we saw Catching Fire...

I cannot fully describe how much I am in love with this movie!!! When I got out of the theater I was jumping around so happy and wanting more. Yes the movie made me cry multiple times but it was made so brilliantly that I just loved every second of it. I highly recommend seeing this movie if you haven't already! So so good!!!

On actual Black Friday I went shopping with my mother-in-law and she got me a very cute infinity scarf. She's fantastic! Then we got burgers and Chris and I drove back home so he could get to work.

After all that it was the end of November and nothing substantially exciting happened. I went in to donate plasma again but they denied me because I don't have a proof of address, how rude. But they sent me a card so I can get my proof of address and a $10 when I bring it in next week.

I hope all my readers had a fantastic November! I hope your Thanksgiving was amazing! I love all my readers and am so grateful for each and everyone of you! 

THANKS FOR READING!!