Because of my very strong opinions about college, a few of you have recently asked me if I'm still in college. I talked briefly about my new job and how I work full time but I never really explained why I'm working full time and no longer going to school. So here is a brief summary of what I'm doing with my life:
I don't know.
Pretty much I decided that I'm done feeling depressed all the time. My depression isn't something that just goes away, I have to face it all the time. Even during the happiest moments of my life I'm still clouded over with my depression. But having dealt with it for a while, I've learned that I can fight my depression a lot better if I'm in those happy moment.
I decided that I would stop doing things that make me unhappy and focus my life on what brings me joy. Writing brings me joy, so I've been writing in my books a lot. Working brings me joy because I feel like I'm actually doing something positive for myself, my husband, and our future. Blogging brings me joy, but you wouldn't know since I've been the worst blogger for the past few months and haven't written anything (sorry).
But college never once brought me joy. I spent four years in college and it just kept getting worse and worse. But another important factor, I didn't even feel like I was in the right major! I couldn't keep subjecting myself to being miserable and putting myself in debt for something I didn't want.
I'm not saying I'm giving up on college forever. There is a great chance I will go back someday and finish what I've started... once I figure out exactly it is I want to do.
All I know is that I want to be a writer, and I've found that I can still write just fine without knowing how to analyze a Shakespearean soliloquy in ten pages. Even though I love most Shakespeare plays, I don't find it necessary to beat one line into the ground over and over again trying to analyze every single letter! As long as I understand it and enjoy the story, aren't I fulfilling Shakespeare's intention? I love reading but I get so annoyed analyzing every little detail of books and writing about it for pages and pages.
Basically, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I expect my life to be an adventure and I don't really want to confine myself to one thing. When I figure out my life calling I will probably go back to college, but for now I'm enjoying working and writing and spending time with my husband. I love my life and I'm having fun just being happy and letting it take me wherever.
Besides, I did earn my associates degree, so that's something, right?
At least you got your associates degree! That's the hardest part to get through because they're all of the classes everyone hates lol. And if you were doing something you didn't enjoy when it came to your major, then you're right, there's honestly no point in continuing in it if it's not something that interests you. Once you figure out what major you will end up enjoying, college is MUCH different. Not that it gets fun, but you'll get a motivation to finish. Good luck to you, Kaylee! :)
ReplyDeleteI am so so proud of you for doing something brave and true to who you are and what you want. You don't even need to say, "At least I got my associates degree, right?". If you don't want to go to school now or ever because it makes you miserable then the greatest accomplishment is the fact that took the more difficult route and listened to your heart. College doesn't make a person successful but being who you really are does. You're gonna do amazing things Kaylee with or without a college degree. You deserve to be happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I really am happy and that's the best decision I've made in my life.
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