Happy (Grati-) Tuesday - 11/24/15

If you saw my post on Saturday, you may know that I am not entirely happy. But it's the week of Thanksgiving and I truly do have so much to be grateful for. So in the fashion of my typical Happy Tuesday posts, here's a list of the things I am grateful for... which also bring me happiness. 

Family that loves me unconditionally

Friends that stay by my side through everything

Chris (oh my goodness, so super grateful for Chris, for forever)

This song for helping me through anything and everything and giving me my life-long mantra

This song for making the tears stop and helping me move on

And this song for making me dance and smile despite my sadness

Having a job that I'm good at and get paid for

Always having enough money to eat and pay bills, even if there isn't much left over

Having a laptop to type out my thoughts and imagination onto

That I have a big imagination

My apartment and bed

Parents who always trust and believe in me, and never stop trying to protect me

Netflix for entertaining me

Books for letting me escape inside of them

How to Train Your Dragon for being my favorite of all favorites

The ability to be be healthy and fit

My new fun hair

Pictures for letting me capture moments and memories

Food of all kinds

Cows for making me smile

Blankets and pillows for being the best cuddle-ers behind Chris

That I am a wife to the most amazing man

That I was able to gain an education

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

That I have a testimony of the gospel

The knowledge that I will someday become a mother

The knowledge that despite how difficult it is sometimes, I am strong enough to fight my depression

  That my Father in Heaven is always watching over me 

That Chris will continue to love me forever and make me happy

That I am a warrior.

Yes, I Am Pregnant - Blogtober Day 10

If any of you missed yesterday's post it ended with this:

That's right people, one of the main reasons I have been absent from my blog the past few months is due to the nausea and tiredness of the first trimester of pregnancy... and finding it difficult to want to blog about anything but my pregnancy.

As of today exactly I am 14 weeks and into my second trimester. Which is crazy. I am due April 9th, 2016 and we are beyond excited. Unfortunately for people not interested in pregnancy, almost the entirety of next week will be pregnancy diaries that I have been writing but not posting, going back from the day I found out I was pregnant. So next week is all about pregnancy.

After that my pregnancy diaries will slow down. My plan was to do them weekly but I'm very inconsistent (as I'm sure all my blog readers know) but new diaries will be popping up every now and then throughout my pregnancy.

This has been a long time in the making and something I have been wanting since forever. I cannot fully describe in writing my excitement to have a baby!! You guys... I'M GOING TO BE A MOM!! Do you realize how relateable this will make my blog? Wink wink. Yep, I'm finally moving on up to mother/blogger, what an accomplishment.

For the majority of my friends and extended family this is brand new news. I'm sorry if you are at all insulted we didn't tell you. Personally I didn't want to tell anyone except immediate family until this point, but Chris got too excited and started telling random customers at his work, which led to his coworkers knowing... and then telling everyone he sees... I would have gotten mad, but I know he's just excited and so am I.

I'm so happy everyone gets to know now and I no longer am burdened by this secret. I AM PREGNANT!!!! And I truly could not be happier!!!

Here are more photos from our fashion/pregnancy reveal shoot with my friend Lindsay. Yes, Chris ran into her at Walmart and immediately told her. He's terrible at keeping secrets, but at least it got us a photographer.

We are cheesy and I will never apologize for that. 

We're also very careful with our baby. 

And a little scared to be parents. 

Yep, we are great parents in the making. 

And are sometimes a little dramatic over our love for our little pumpkin. 

Thanks for all the love and support you've already given us! It's a little scary, but with friends and family like you, we know it'll make things a lot smoother. Love you all!!

Bubba

I was eighteen, just moved to Logan, and was trying out for the ballroom team. I was terrified I wouldn't make it. Terrified of my first year at college. Terrified of being away from my family. Through the practices, a boy came up to me and told me I would make it. He had confidence in me, even when I didn't.

I made the team and later learned this boy was Bubba.

We had fun together on ballroom. He made my freshman year of college memorable and exciting. We spent two years dancing together, joking together, getting Jamba Juice's together, and having fun.  Then Bubba got cancer and stopped doing ballroom, but I tried to keep contact with him and let him know I was always his friend and I would always support him.

Bubba pushed through chemo and went back to living a normal life. But that year I left Logan, I didn't see him again for another year.

One day after getting married and moving back to Logan, I decided to randomly visit my old ballroom coaches. Bubba was there and greeted me happily, like he always did. We talked a little, joked a little, and I enjoyed seeing him again. I had missed him.

Today the world lost Bubba.

Lost his loud, happy laughter. Lost his big smile. Lost his jokes. Lost his friendliness. Lost an incredible dancer and teacher. Lost him from this world to move on to the next.

It doesn't matter that I haven't spoken to him in months, Bubba had an effect on my life and he was a good friend. I loved him and he will be missed. Everyone who knew him loved him. He was such a fun person to be around and made you feel happy and loved.

I love you Bubba. I'm glad you no longer have to deal with your pain and medical issues. I know you're in a better place now. I know your safe and happy. Goodbye Bubba, I love and miss you.

The People I'm Most Grateful For

The most important part of showing my gratitude is to the people I care most about. These are people who helped shape me and change my life. I may never be able to fully express why I am so grateful for them, but I will try my hardest. This is in no particular order, so if you're on this list don't be insulted by your position, it doesn't matter.

My Friend Kalee -I am grateful for Kalee because she unknowingly helped me start this blog. I had been debating the idea for a long time and started one but gave up. Then I saw her blog, Fred Rongo, and decided it was my time to actually start blogging. I love this blog and so I am very grateful for Kalee for inspiring me to start it.

My Grandma & Grandpa Clark -I've always loved my grandma and grandpa, but growing up I didn't get to see them as much. My grandpa passed away a few years ago, but I'll never forget when I was little and complaining about Michelle getting to read Harry Potter and I couldn't until she was done, and my grandpa drove me to the store and bought me the second and third Harry Potter books. I love him and I miss him a lot. My grandma is incredible. She used to always hike with us in Jackson and now she lives in Utah with us and I get to see her a lot. Lately I've been hearing more about my grandma and grandpa when they first met and when they were dating. She was the only girl my grandpa ever kissed and ever dated. They were sweethearts and they had a perfect relationship. They adopted my mom and gave her an incredible life. I am truly grateful for my grandparents because they are truly incredible people.

My Nana -I love my Nana for teaching me how to be creative and find the beauty in little things. I remember making crafts out of pinecones and other ordinary objects. She has this wonderful ability to take these small, seemingly useless things and making them something beautiful. She finds the positive things in life and I think that's a beautiful thing. I love my Nana and I think she's an incredible person with an incredible ability to make life more fun and more beautiful. I'm grateful to have her in my life and grateful for the way she raised my dad. She helped make my dad the wonderful person he is, and I am grateful for my Nana for everything.

My In-Laws -If I could have chosen my in-laws, I would still chose Scott and Michelle. They are the perfect second parents that I didn't know I needed. They raised a perfect son who I love and who treats me like a princess. They take us on adventures and we always have fun when we're with them. I honestly love my in-laws. They are so kind and fun and they work hard and are incredible parents. I am so grateful for them. I love them with all my heart! I am also very grateful for my three brothers in-law that I got when I married Chris. They are so much fun and it was exciting for me to get new brothers. Now, in only a few days, I get a sister-in-law as well. My in-laws are the absolute greatest. I love the Farnes family so very, very much.

My neighbor Tamara -Tamara is an inspiration to me. She was one of my Young Women's leaders. She honestly cares about what happens in my life. She threw me an amazing bridal shower. But mostly, she inspired me as she struggled with cancer. She battled it right back and never seemed to give up hope. When I had my cancer scare I was able to turn to her and she gave me inspiration and hope. I love Tamara and I am grateful to have her in my life as a friend.

My Cousin Desi -I truly believe that Desi saved my wedding. After I thought my dress was ruined, and I wouldn't have the sleeves that I had wanted, Desi stepped up and saved the day. She expertly sewed new sleeves on my dress that were exactly what I had been wanting. Not only that, she gave me eyelash extensions, and did my hair and makeup for the wedding. Desi is incredible and I am so grateful to have her living nearby and for everything she did for me for my wedding, and everything she does for me now.

Such an old picture! I couldn't find any newer ones! 

My Old Dance Teachers/Coaches -Dance was such a big part of my life and I am forever grateful for the people who helped me learn how to do it. Barbara, Nicki, Christy, Dayna, Addie, Andrea, Jay, Candice, Jeanne, and Adam, you all have helped teach me and change my life. You are all such incredible people and you helped me to do something that I truly loved. I am forever grateful for you and I wouldn't have been able to do all that I have without you.

My Siblings -Nick and Michelle, you are my best friends in the world. We have been really lucky to never really fight that much and to have such a good relationship. I've had the greatest times with you. The most exciting moments of my childhood always involved you two. Michelle, I loved sharing a room with you and having sleep overs and watching Gilmore Girls and Pirates of the Caribbean with you. I loved when we went to The Dark Knight premire together and you said, "It's a dark night tonight" and made me laugh. You're crazy and fun and I love you! Nick, we had the best time crawling on the floor playing with toys together. We had the biggest imaginations and spent so much time together plotting against Michelle. I feel like we are the greatest siblings in the world. I can't even begin to explain how much I love you guys! I'm am forever grateful for you and I love you more than anything!

My Aunt Cherene and Uncle Jeff -One summer my aunt and uncle let me live with them so I could stay in Logan and keep my job. Again, this summer after moving back from Texas and having no where to live, they allowed Chris and I to live with them for over a week until we could move into our apartment. I truly believe Cherene and Jeff are some of the nicest people in the world. They are always inviting us over for dinner and celebrating my birthday with me. I feel so much love and gratitude for them for giving me a home when I needed one. They are like a second set of parents to me and I love them so very much!

My Best Friend Lauren -No relationship, other than family, has lasted as long as my bond with Lauren. Lauren, you are 100% my best friend/cousin/sister. You are a part of my family and such a big part of my life. I love you and your family for making me part of your family as well. I loved Forth-of-July fireworks at your grandmas, sleeping downtown for the Pioneer Day parade, dance class, soccer team (go Yellow Sunflowers!), Real games, sleepover, High School Musical premieres, dollar movies, St. George trips, double dating, inside jokes, working together, being a part of each other's weddings, and having the greatest friend in the world. Even though I don't get to see you nearly as much as we used to, you have always been and always will be my best friend. I love you and I'm grateful to have you as a friend, who is pretty much like my sister as well.

My Mom -Mom, there is so much that you have done for me and I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank you enough. You were always my biggest supporter in dance and in anything else I set my mind to. You support everything I do. You love me unconditionally even when I've been acting like a brat. In high school you wrote me a letter that both broke my heart and made me realize how important you are to me. You helped save my life. When I went through one of the worst things of my life in college you drove up here right away and took me out to eat and took care of me. You helped me to become  the person I am today. You are perfect in every way and I can only hope I end up like you as a parent and as a person. You mean so much to me and I love you!

My Dad -Dad, when I told you that I didn't want to continue with college, you didn't get mad. You didn't chastise me for wasting money, you didn't try to convince me to stay, you didn't make me feel bad. You trusted my decision and you supported it. You've supported me through everything my entire life, writing, dancing, blogging, and you've shown your support in so many ways and helped whenever you could. You've always been there to keep our family protected and well cared for. You work so hard and you care for us so much. I love you daddy and I am forever grateful for you!

My Husband -Sometimes I like to wonder where I would be if I hadn't met Chris, but the thought terrifies me. I know, without any shadow of a doubt, that my Father in Heaven led me to Chris, He knew we needed to be together, because without Chris I would be nothing. No one else in my life has brought me this much happiness. I can count on him for everything.

Chris, you are my life. I love you more than I thought I could ever love anyone. You make me happy when no one else can. You always know what to say to make me laugh. You let me watch my favorite movies over and over again. You buy me treats and gifts for no reason. You treat me like an absolute princess. I love you. I'm so grateful to have found you, and even more grateful that I get to keep you for eternity.

My Readers -All of you reading my blog, you may never know how grateful I am for you. You are what keeps me going when I'm feeling discouraged. You are what brings me joy with each new comment of like and appreciation. I love being a blogger and getting to talk with all of you. You are so incredible and I am truly grateful for you. 

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and get to spend time with the people you are most grateful for in your life! 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Typically on holidays I make a holiday "card" like the one above with a picture of my husband and I, however, I'm really missing these girls lately and we were celebrating St. Patrick's Day in the picture so I thought it would be more fun to post this pic instead of a random one with my husband. 

This picture was taken a few years ago when these girls were my roommates and best friends. We're still friends but I practically never see or talk to them. I've been missing them a lot though so I'm putting up a picture of them today. Love you Lindsay and Kristina!! 

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!! 

Five On Friday: A Sign From God

This post is part of a link-up I do with The Good Life. If you don't already, you should join in on the fun! And if you found me through the link-up, welcome to my blog! Everyone reading, if you don't want to read through the whole thing, just skip down to #5 because it's my favorite and it's super important and I'd love you forever if you read it! THANK YOU!!! 

{one}
So I downloaded an awesome app on my new phone which made my notification ringtone sound like this little guy:

And I'm pretty much in love. I get super excited whenever someone sends me a text because then I get to hear the adorable R2D2, who is my most favorite character in the whole Star Wars franchise. Yep, my favorite character is a droid who doesn't actually talk, but he honestly has the most personality!

{two}
Next week is my Spring Break!

And you know what I'm doing with my Spring Break (Wa hoo!) ...homework and working. Yep, I'm staying in Logan and getting relaxation, caught up on homework, and going to work to get paid (because it's still Money Free March). To be honest, I didn't even realize it was Spring Break until Monday, and I don't really care. I've never gone anywhere for Spring Break (except to Washington and Idaho my first year, but it wasn't a vacation, see #5 below) and I honestly enjoy staying and making some money. Because it's just relaxing to be out of school for a week. And Logan is dead when all the college students leave so you can go anywhere with no lines!

{three}
(Sorry, no YouTube video for this one) I have gone to the gym three times this week. Yay me! But let's backtrack a little. On Monday I was having issues with my depression and was just really feeling down. One of my main issues was when I looked in the mirror, I just wasn't happy. While THIS POST was written as a joke, I've really been struggling lately seeing how much weight I've gained since my wedding. I'm just not happy with myself. So while I can't just get rid of my depression, I can get rid of the extra weight that's bothering me. And this week I've been eating right and going to the gym and it's honestly making me happier. Yay for working out!

{four}
I went through the third season of Dance Academy on Netflix this week!

I truly love this show! I don't know how they do it but they make you simply fall in love with all the characters and really care about their lives and their drama (which is so unrealistic sometimes but I still love it). My husband hates it so I watch it while he's working, but I love this show so very much and it just makes me miss ballet and want to dance!!! Which leads into #5...

{five}
(This one is my favorite so pay attention!) Last night at work I was listening to my iPod (which, that alone is a rare occurrence because I hate having my headphones compete with the vacuum, but I was by myself, not vacuuming, and super bored so I needed some music (this whole event was miraculous and like a sign from God and the fact that I was listening to my iPod, which I normal don't, is just an incredible event)) and a song comes on that I first heard four years ago, almost exactly to the date (Spring Break 2010), right after my Grandpa's funeral. And when I first heard that song I replayed it over and over again and I knew in that moment that I had to choreograph a dance to this song about my grandpa and his relationship with my grandma.

I don't find it a coincidence that almost exactly four years later I hear the song on my iPod, replay it a few times, listening again to the beautiful words and picturing the dance in my head, almost in tears as it tells the story of my grandma and grandpa.

Recently I've been talking a lot about how I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore. I've been dancing since I was four years old and have been talking my whole life about wanting to dance forever and to teach dance. But somewhere along the way I forgot about dance and how much joy it brings me.

The event last night felt like a sign from God that I need to get back into dance. Not just that, but I absolutely need to choreograph that dance tribute to my grandpa who almost exactly four years ago passed away. So I have a new unofficial goal to finish the choreography for this dance and somehow, somewhere teach it to a willing couple. I absolutely have to see that dance in real life. When I listen to the song, I can see the dance clearly in my head and it brings me to tears. I need to see it in person, I need to create it.

I don't think it's a sign to drop everything and strictly devote my life to dance, but it's something I need to get back into soon. I feel so humbled and so blessed to have received this sign and I am truly grateful for an answer to my stress and problems from my loving Father in Heaven. I am truly blessed.

And Grandpa Clark, I love you very much. I love that even though you're gone I keep learning more and more about you and I keep loving you more with each new story. I miss you. We're taking good care of Grandma for you, she's happy but she misses you very much. I love you Grandpa, you are truly amazing and you are greatly missed. I can't wait to see you again someday! 

10c06aa30ac6f273ee6d76a76f258c371505632a0fd170b934

My Favorite Fictional Couples

This post was originally put up on my blog last June, but I decided in honor of Valentines Day I would share it again. Enjoy! 

____________________________________________________

When I was in my 8th grade Spanish 1 class, we (as a class) once kept our teacher from teaching us any Spanish by having him rant about how the people that you are around influence you and you become like them (which explains my lack of knowledge on the Spanish language).

That story is only partially relevant to this post.

See, as I'm sure we all do, I have some of my favorite fictional couples from books and movies. And if the above statement is true, I would love to hang out with these couples, because their relationships are so strong and beautiful and I love the way that they love each other. I aspire to be like these couples (although my relationship, in my opinion, is better than all of these ones combined) because these couples work hard at their relationships and love each other no matter what.

So here is my list of ten my favorite fictional couples (with pictures and videos!!!) in no particular order. I know I'll be leaving out some good ones but I can always make another list later. (WARNING: May contain spoilers! Read at your own risk!)

Fergus and Elinor (from Pixar's Brave) 

Chris and I keep trying to watch this show but our DVD player is broken and really hates this movie (apparently) so we've never been able to get through it. I absolutely ADORE the relationship that Fergus and Elinor have. I don't care that this is a cartoon, but when Fergus sees that his wife may be sick, him immediately begins to worry. When he finds his wife gone, he really freaks out. But it's all out of love. You can see it and hear it and it's the cutest thing ever. I'm not the biggest fan of this movie, but they're relationship is so adorable. And Merida is so cute in the picture above!

Chandler and Monica (from Friends)

I talk about Friends way too much on this blog but it's only because it's my favorite!! I love that going through all the seasons, Chandler was always partial to Monica, even from the very beginning. And it's just so cute to me that it pays of for them. Everyone always want to marry their best friend (which I did) and Monica and Chandler absolutely did and it was just so perfect.

Ron and Hermione (from Harry Potter by JK Rowling)

I'm currently going through all the Harry Potter movies and it's so funny the relationship that Ron and Hermione have in the first movie/book. Their relationship is just cute. It's another friends to couple story, but theirs was kind of always there. Ron always felt something there and I'm pretty sure Hermione did too. And it's just the cutest relationship to read and especially to watch them as cute little 11 year old kids then turn into adults and have such a strong and meaningful relationship. Bravo JK Rowling. Bravo.

Shawn and Juliet (from Psych)

This is one of my favorite Shawn and Juliet scenes. I don't care that there have been a ton of adorable ones since this moment, especially since they ended up together (he is seriously the cutest boyfriend to her). This scene shows the beginning. Shows that he loved her, not like, love, from the moment that he met her. There is no cuter relationship than this one, because he always always loved her and never ever stopped.

Jim and Pam (from The Office)

Jenna Fischer and John Krasinski played these roles absolutely perfectly because their relationship is probably the best there ever was on television. It always felt so real that I often forget that they are actors and that they're really in relationships with other people. Jim and Pam are perfect in every way. This show let you see their relationship grow from a crush to married with kids and it was just so beautifully written (their relationship, not always the show) that their relationship really captivated you and made you happy.

Dill and Rosemary (from Easy A (yeah, I didn't know their names either until IMDB))

The Dream in Which I Met Ariana Grande

I have a lot of weird dreams. I think it's because I'm a writer, and I write weird things sometimes. I mean I love reading Edgar Allan Poe and creepy stories like that so sometimes that's just where my mind goes in my dreams, and it's weird.

But last night's dream wasn't weird. In fact, it was like the opposite of weird, because not only did it feel incredibly real, when I woke up I realized it should be real. Well maybe not exactly, but the part where I met Ariana Grande and we became friends should be real.

The dream took place at a stake dance. Yes, a stake dance. I'm twenty-three, haven't been to a stake dance since I was like sixteen, plus I'm married and was still married in the dream, but for some strange reason I was at a stake dance. For any of you who don't know, stake dances are put on by the LDS church for their youth ages fourteen and up. I went to them a lot because I love to dance and it was fun to meet new people and hang out with my friends.

But basically, just know that the dream took place in a church at a dance. That's all you need to know about that anyways.

So I was dancing with my old friends from the neighborhood that I grew up in. For some reason we were all still married, but our husbands were absent. I don't know where they were, but they were gone. We still talked about them and there was no cheating involved, but no husbands were apparently allowed in my dream.

We were just dancing the night away and who happens to somehow get stranded at a church building in Sandy and/or Draper, Utah (where I don't even live anymore)... ARIANA GRANDE.

To fully understand the significance of this dream you have to understand that I have a potentially unhealthy obsession with Ariana Grande. I think she is beyond gorgeous, her singing voice is absolutely incredible, she's actually a talented actor despite the fact I dislike the shows she's in and her character is dumb but still cute, and I honestly just obsess over her Twitter and Instagram because I love the way she is so honest and real with her fans.

I LOVE ARIANA GRANDE!

Anyways, so she walks in with some boy who is her friend (I'm guessing) and for some reason she has her red hair (like in the picture above) and it's in a pony-tail (I had my long hair in the dream because I have yet to dream of myself with shorter hair, I just don't feel like me right now). She and her friend are noticed, but mostly ignored, and they just sort of walk around for a while and end up just sitting on the stage.

Me, wanting to get closer, go to the stage to start digging through my purse for chapstick (because I'm addicted to chapstick so that's a perfectly reasonable cover, see, even in my dreams I'm smooth). So I end up getting closer to the lovely Ariana Grande and ask her some questions (which I honestly can't remember).

But I very distinctly remember her gracefully leaping off the stage to come hug me. And... is it weird that I know she's slightly shorter than me and in my dream that hug accounted for our height differences? And the hug lasted a while too and felt so incredibly real.

When the dance ended, shortly after the hug and more talking to Ariana Grande, I walked outside with her and her friend. They said that their car broke down a few blocks away and they figured a good play to hang out would be a church. I immediately offer them a ride and even invite them over for some food and games... and Ariana Grande said yes. (It's like my first date with her... I'm totally joking! I was still married in the dream and I don't like her in that way, ha ha)

We walk to my car, which happens to be my husbands car that has a big Liverpool FC sticker on the back windshield and the boy with Ariana Grande gets really excited. He says he also loves Liverpool! (At this point in the dream, my husband was awake and watching a Liverpool game, I think he infected my dream because the boy also said something about Aston Villa, which is who Liverpool was playing in the game my husband was watching. Apparently I'm very receptive with I'm half asleep.)

The boy talked about getting some alcohol, I told him I don't drink, but I wouldn't care if he did, but I knew that all liquor stores were already closed for the night (okay, this one is weird because I had a dream months ago about driving around looking for a open liquor store at ten at night (don't ask why because I don't know) so in this new dream, I was basing the idea that all liquor stores were closed on that old dream, I have very vivid and memorable dreams, apparently)

We all get in my car and drive to some house... or hotel... it was weird and I don't know what it was but I had never been there before. We hang out, play some games, and end up all falling asleep on the couches and the floor. (Seriously, where is my husband? I mean I had his car. We only have one car, what was he doing? I'm very concerned for my missing dream husband.)

And then I started to wake up but not before my dream shifted and we suddenly became stranded in the place we were in because of a flash flood (my dreams always tend to have a random shift at the end when I'm waking up).

So that's my dream.

...but there's more to this post.

You see, when I woke up (and my husband chastised me for sleeping in until noon (hello, I have been incredibly sick and dying all week, I think I have an excuse)) not only did that dream feel like it had actually happened, it felt like it should happen.

I'm not saying I was predicting the future (like that one time I had a dream my uncle proposed and I woke up the next day to find out that he actually had) but that the idea of Ariana Grande and myself becoming friends could, and should, actually become a reality.

I mean, why can't we be friends? Sure she's a busy celebrity and I haven't worked all week and just sat on a couch a watched Psych (seriously, I've never been this sick before), but I honestly believe that Ariana Grande and I could be friends. It's not just the dream, but her personality that I see and read about in interviews, I truly, honestly, sincerely believe that our personalities would match incredibly well and we could become good friends... if we ever met.

This dream could be a last desperate chance for me to find a friend. I've been struggling for so long (nearly a year) with the fact that I don't have any friends, even in my dreams I don't have any friends to hang out with. I'm usually alone, with my husband, or the dream isn't even about me.

And people always say that I'm overreacting when I say I don't have any friends but here are the facts: I haven't hung out with anyone besides my husband or family members in almost a year; I never get any phone calls or even text messages from friends, only family; when on Facebook I say "I'm sick, who wants to bring me food ;)" I get two replies, one from a boy who used to have a crush on me and lives two hours away and the other from my husband (who was currently an hour away); even when I meet new people, we talk in class or at work, but they seem to have no desire to hang out with me outside of class or work and don't even try to get my phone number; and lastly, the friends that I thought I had, that have been my friends forever, that were my bridesmaids... I haven't heard from since my wedding.

The facts are there people, I'm not overreacting about me not having any friends.

So this dream, in a way, could be a way for me to find a friend, even if it's just in my dreams. Because people need people. I need friends. I love my husband to death and I love being around him all the time, but sometimes he goes off with his friends, why don't I have any friends to hang out with?

Ariana Grande could be my friend. I do believe if we met in real life we could be friends, good friends. But we probably will never meet, so at least I have her as a friend in my dreams.

I love you Ariana Grande, thanks for being a friend! 

Why I Can't Look At Facebook Anymore

You know what's hard? Life. Life is hard. You know what's harder? Watching all your friend succeeding in life and doing all these wonderful things while you've been sitting on a couch for the past three days watching it all happen on Facebook.

It's not that I'm not happy with my life. I love my husband and my family. I love the people I'm around. But it's just hard to see what all my friends are going through and seeing that I'm not there yet. I'm not even close. All my friends are having babies and graduated and getting really good jobs and going on tons of vacations while I am starting over in college and can barely afford rent.

When I was younger I always wanted to grow up and be a ballerina and while that quickly changed, it's crazy that I have like four or five friends on Facebook that are professional ballerinas or teaching dance professionally, some of which are younger than me. And I wish I could teach dance, it's all I've ever wanted to do, but I'm not.

Then I have all the friends who are pregnant or have babies... and there's a ton of those. And I'm not saying I want a baby right now (okay, maybe I do) but it's still hard for me to see all these friends taking this giant step in their lives.

And then all the graduates, which is actually the hardest for me. This is my fourth year in college, typically you graduate after your fourth year, especially when your major is teaching, like mine is, but no, after this year of college I still have like three and a half years of college left, possibly more considering I can't get into a class I needed this semester. And while I absolutely love my sister to death, it's hard for me that she graduated super fast, is now in graduate school and will probably graduate for a second time before I even graduate once. Michelle, I love you but your success is hard for me especially when mom and dad always compare me to you.

Then there's all the friends who pretend to understand my money problems but really just don't get it. They live in the basements of their relatives or their family pays their rent and they have expensive phones and cars and go on tons of trips yet try to pretend they understand my money issues. I had to move in order to afford to pay rent. They don't understand it and it's annoying that they pretend to.

Finally we have the icing on the cake, the fact that all these "friends" never really talk to me, never hang out with me, and aren't real friends. The hardest part is knowing that none of my Facebook friends are real friends. And while they're moving on with their lives and becoming successful, they're also moving on from me. They aren't really my friends anymore.

And that is why I can't look at Facebook anymore. 

P.S. -This blog has a Facebook page and you're welcome to follow it to keep up with all my new blog posts. One of my New Years Resolutions is to get 100 blog followers so if you like this blog on Facebook you can help me reach my goal! Also, in the near future I'll be doing a Giveaway exclusively for my Facebook followers so you have the like the page to enter it! So please like my Facebook page and you could win a special prize!

P.S.S. -You can also follow me on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Google+

Pinterest Sunday: DIY, Foods, Neon, Cruel, Disney, Pink, Pinwheel, Roadtrip, Scriptures, Disney Parks, and Phoebe

This week I've pinned a ridiculous amount of clothing/fashion pins because I just want to shop and I'm so sick of my current wardrobe.... but I am going to save most of those pins for a Fashion Friday post this week. So stay tuned for all of those and I hope you enjoy this Pinterest Sunday post! 

As one of his Christmas presents, I promised my husband I would make a board/frame thing for the pictures of fish he catches. I had a pretty good idea in mind but then I saw this and knew I have to do this! But I could use like fishing wire and hooks! It'll be great! Stay tuned for a tutorial and video on it when I finally get around to making it. 

New Year, new me. I'm trying to lose one pound a week up  until my one year anniversary, because then I'll be at my wedding weight (yes I strayed that far off in the last 8 months). So I'm always looking for healthy foods and ways to lose weight. 

P.S. -I am already behind. I got sick so I didn't go to the gym at all last week and we still have tons of left over candy from Christmas (I have a theory that Santa gives us all so much candy so he doesn't feel as overweight himself) but this week I'll be starting a new routine (even though I still feel sick) and I'll be writing about it on here soon. 

Pinterest Sunday: Perfect, Dance, Music, Blessings, Puns, Turkey, Christmas, Friends, Pumpkin, Peaches, Coasters, Birds, Church, Red, and Taylor Swift

Goodness, it has been far too long since I've done one of these posts! So I may or may not have a lot of pictures today, we'll see. :) You can find all my new and old "pins" by CLICKING HERE and feel free to follow me on Pinterest! I'd love to see your "pins" as well!

Cutest quote and picture ever. There are no words. 

I miss dance so ridiculously much! I went to Ballroom Fest this weekend and got to watch dance and compete (I got 4th) and I realized just how much I miss it! I'm going to talk to my old coaches and see if I can teach at their studio, because I really really want to! 

When I first saw these pictures I thought "That would be really cool, I love Carrie Underwood" but I didn't think it was actually happening!! I'm getting excited for this, Carrie Underwood (AKA, one of my favorite female singers) in The Sound of Music (AKA, one of my favorite musicals)! Her voice is so incredible so I'm not worried about that, it's just a really difficult task to try to replace Julie Andrews, because Julie Andrews is a queen. In the Princess Diaries she played the perfect role, because she is honestly a queen. If I could only meet one celebrity, I'd probably pick Julie Andrews. She's so incredible! 

This is called a "Blessings Bag". You're supposed to carry some around in your car and hand them out to homeless people. I wish there was a link with a list of what to include, but you can see some things in the picture anyways. Where this is the Month of Gratitude, I feel like it's time for us to give back to the world. I personally am so blessed everyday and there are people out there who can't afford the things that I can. I think this "Blessings Bag" is a wonderful idea to help others to feel a little better and maybe make a change in their own lives. I hope all my readers work this month to help others. 

Halloween is over but I couldn't resist all the puns! It's cute and funny and I love it! 

Use Nerf Guns to try and get the most points? Yes please!! When I'm a parent I want to have fun games like this for my kids while we're preparing dinner for Thanksgiving. Right now though, I think this would be super fun with my husband. Ha ha, we're like children sometimes. :)

While I typically avoid all things Christmas until December, I just can't help it this year! My coworker has been listening to Christmas music since September and I'm getting super excited for our first Christmas as a married couple (not with my coworker, that sentence makes it sound like I'm married to my coworker, but I'm not, I meant my husband and I). I'm just so excited! I need a good Christmas playlist and all these songs are fabulous, so I'll be getting them together soon. :)

This is quite possibly my favorite episode of Friends ever! Everything about it is fantastic, but especially Jason Alexander. He added such a great character in this episode. 

This is the exact recipe I used to make cookies for work on Halloween. It turned out wonderfully! You can read the full recipe by CLICKING HERE and I definitely would because everyone loved them!