Why I Can't Look At Facebook Anymore

You know what's hard? Life. Life is hard. You know what's harder? Watching all your friend succeeding in life and doing all these wonderful things while you've been sitting on a couch for the past three days watching it all happen on Facebook.

It's not that I'm not happy with my life. I love my husband and my family. I love the people I'm around. But it's just hard to see what all my friends are going through and seeing that I'm not there yet. I'm not even close. All my friends are having babies and graduated and getting really good jobs and going on tons of vacations while I am starting over in college and can barely afford rent.

When I was younger I always wanted to grow up and be a ballerina and while that quickly changed, it's crazy that I have like four or five friends on Facebook that are professional ballerinas or teaching dance professionally, some of which are younger than me. And I wish I could teach dance, it's all I've ever wanted to do, but I'm not.

Then I have all the friends who are pregnant or have babies... and there's a ton of those. And I'm not saying I want a baby right now (okay, maybe I do) but it's still hard for me to see all these friends taking this giant step in their lives.

And then all the graduates, which is actually the hardest for me. This is my fourth year in college, typically you graduate after your fourth year, especially when your major is teaching, like mine is, but no, after this year of college I still have like three and a half years of college left, possibly more considering I can't get into a class I needed this semester. And while I absolutely love my sister to death, it's hard for me that she graduated super fast, is now in graduate school and will probably graduate for a second time before I even graduate once. Michelle, I love you but your success is hard for me especially when mom and dad always compare me to you.

Then there's all the friends who pretend to understand my money problems but really just don't get it. They live in the basements of their relatives or their family pays their rent and they have expensive phones and cars and go on tons of trips yet try to pretend they understand my money issues. I had to move in order to afford to pay rent. They don't understand it and it's annoying that they pretend to.

Finally we have the icing on the cake, the fact that all these "friends" never really talk to me, never hang out with me, and aren't real friends. The hardest part is knowing that none of my Facebook friends are real friends. And while they're moving on with their lives and becoming successful, they're also moving on from me. They aren't really my friends anymore.

And that is why I can't look at Facebook anymore. 

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