3 Months Old

My baby girls are three months old today!! Here are a few more facts about them not shown on their chalkboards.

-Only in the past month have we started reading to them. They are loving it though and just wiggle around when it's storytime.

-These girls LOVE their pacifiers and almost always have them in their mouths.

-They are smiling now, but it's rare and super hard to get on camera. But if you follow my Instagram account (@_cowgirlkaylee_) I post a lot to my story and you can see more smiles on there.

-Nicknames: Lately we've been calling Makell "Mini Marshmallow" because of her adorable chubby cheeks but we have always called her Miss Makell. For Zoey we stick with Zo or Miss Zo.

-My girls are on a specific "no spit-up" formula, but they almost never spit-up anymore even when we try them on other formulas. So yay!

-Zoram is now more into them and loves to lick their feet and hands, and the girls love him back. They stare at him a lot and seem to enjoy him. I'm glad my girls won't be afraid of dogs like I was the majority of my life.

-They love hugging blankets which is so like their mom.

-My girls are not afraid of strangers and will let anyone hold them or get near them. We think the NICU prepared them for that because of all the different nurses taking care of them.

-Chris and I think they're getting so big, but then we see other three-month-old babies and realize how little ours are. They're premies though so it makes sense. And little petite girls are adorable.

-They can both basically hold their heads up. I don't really have to support their heads anymore, but I also don't trust them in certain circumstances.

-They love going on adventures with mom and dad in their carriers. (See my Instagram account.)

-They are out of newborn clothes. The onesies they're pictured in are actually newborn, but tight, so this is the last time for these pink ones.

-They are very chill babies who can entertain each other and don't cry that often. But every now and then they just get irritated and it looks a bit like this. But still, they're very calm and quiet.

-Unless they're hungry, in which case, they scream.

-Starting this past week they sleep about ten hours straight at night, which would be lovely if my dog hadn't gotten used to middle of the night feedings, and now Zoram wakes me up instead of them.

-These pictures don't do their cuteness justice, so here's them with Santa.

(They're both looking over at me on the side. They honestly love staring at me. No complaints with that.)

My Christmas Wishlist

Hello, friends and welcome to December!! I am doing Vlogmas this year, which, we'll see if I can actually complete it, but I'm determined to post a short video every day til Christmas. So if you aren't already, go subscribe to my YouTube channel to watch all the videos. And wish me luck. But because of that, I will also have more blog posts this December that relate to or go with the videos, so follow me on all my social media accounts to be notified of those.

I'm working on designing an awesome emailing list, where each email would give you recent highlights from my blog and other projects, a preview of upcoming projects, and a special message to my readers. I'm hoping it'll be ready for the New Year, but this month may get a little too crazy. But be on the lookout for that and then you'll always know what's been happening with me and my blog!

If I'm being honest, my real Christmas wishlist are things that other people can't get me. Like getting me into the new apartment that I want. There's a big waiting list so I'm out of luck there for a while. I also really want a Mac PC, but that's completely unrealistic to ask for as a gift. So is asking for a second car, which we really want/need. So in this post, I'm sticking to the more realistic things I'm wanting.


PAJAMA PANTS

If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen my sad tweet about getting a hole in my favorite (and albeit, oldest) pair of pajama pants. I'm super upset about it because they were perfect. They were long, soft, not too thick and hot, and were black, white, and silver, AKA, my life esthetic. So yeah, I'm upset, especially since I don't have many other options and do laundry specifically for those pants. But now they're dead, I'm sad, and I need some new ones.

FUNKO POP FIGURINES

I love these things! We currently have Jon Snow, Moriarty, BB-8, and R2D2. But Chris and I have a running list of ones we want. We need Rey from Star Wars and Luna from Harry Potter because those are our twin's middle names. But I also really want an Oliver Queen/Green Arrow one, more Sherlock ones, like all the Harry Potter ones, Toothless, and there's a ton more I want. I think they're super cute and fun and show our nerdy side because Chris and I can be big nerds.

THROW BLANKETS/PILLOWS

I'm just a huge fan! I love comfort and snuggling and it really bothers me that in my entire marriage (coming up on five years now, yay us) we have never had throw pillows on our bed! I know Chris does not like them, but it's not like I want a million. Just a few good ones to make the bed a bit cozier. Plus, in my history, when I have throw pillows I'm more likely to make the bed because I want it to be pretty. So... win.

A MIRROR

I want a couple mirrors actually, but what I really need is a full-length mirror. Storytime! So during my pregnancy, I was ridiculously swollen, but I never had a full-length mirror, so I honestly didn't realize how big and swollen I was. It wasn't until I saw my sister's wedding photos that I really saw the full length of myself and I was a little shocked by it. And if I was so in denial and unaware then, then maybe I still am a bit too. I really want one.

AN AREA RUG

Except, if you're actually buying me Christmas presents, maybe don't. Because I'm super picky when it comes to rugs apparently. Why else would I still not have a rug in an apartment with no carpet? I've looked around but honestly, I just cannot decide or don't have the sufficient funds (ha, when do I ever have money to buy anything?).

CLOTHES

I have a carefully mapped out plan to post one fashion post on this blog every week next year. But I absolutely HATE my current wardrobe. I know what I want, I have a plan, but I'm being stopped to completely change my wardrobe by two things: I'm not at my ideal weight and still have some pregnancy weight to lose and, again, the money thing. It's really hard to make money when you're forced to leave your job because you can't afford daycare, but if you can't work then you can't afford your lifestyle and sometimes even your rent. Honestly, one of the first things I said in this post was that I want to move to the other apartment we have picked out because it'll save us so much money and will just be a better situation for us all around. If I had known we were having twins, we would not have moved to this current apartment. But... anyways... I want clothes.

BOOKS & CLOTHES FOR MY GIRLS

I love when people buy things for my girls. I want to buy stuff for them all the time, but, again, money. But buying cute baby girl clothes is something I'm more likely to go out and buy because it's just too cute. Funny how becoming a mom changes your priorities. I also just want books. Lots of books. All the books. I grew up reading all the time and then college stopped my reading habits (I also think it had to do with getting a laptop and internet access...). I'm trying to get back into reading this year and I want my girls to grow up surrounded by books and reading. Reading is the best.

A DOG BED AND TOYS

Zoram needs a bed. He's so cute and has a specific place by my side of the bed and I put a pillow there that he rests his head on, but I'm sure he'd appreciate a bed of his own, even if he sticks to his usual habits and only puts his head on it. Also, those throw pillows in the following widget are just the best things I've ever seen seeing as all day long Zoram is in my bed sleeping.

BLOGGING & VIDEO THINGS

Lastly, I want video editing software (which I'm still debating on which one I want), an external hard drive, a computer that doesn't freeze and shut down every other day, a camera stabilizer, and for someone to give my blog a makeover. Yep. None of this I actually expect to get for Christmas. It's more on my "saving up for" list. AKA, I want money for Christmas.

What's on your Christmas Wishlist? Let me know in the comments below! Thanks for reading, you're a hero!! 

Will Blogging Ever NOT Be Hard For Me?

That's a serious question. I want a serious answer. For reals, I make all these goals, I set plans, schedule posts, have a ginormous list of posts I want to write, and then I still go over a month without posting. Will blogging ever become easy for me? And if so, how do I speed up that process?

Despite having a freaking long list of posts, I'm in a writer's rut. I can't even get myself to work on Heroes & Villains which has an actual deadline and is insanely important to me. If anything, that should be my focus, but I can't even bring myself to do that.

I've also filmed quite a few videos to put on my YouTube channel, but once I get to editing, I panic that they aren't good enough and just discard them. They still exist, but will probably never be posted for public viewing.

I'm just stuck between my high expectations and reality. See, I have a very, very vivid imagination, which I love and I think that's what allows me to be a writer. But in my imagination, I see myself as a successful blogger, YouTuber, and writer. And when I realize that I started my blog four years ago and nothing has come of it, I get insanely discouraged.

I've never been the type of person who always believes in myself. In fact, I've spent many years of my life struggling with self-loathing. I am so good at putting myself down and making myself believe that no matter how hard I try, I won't amount to anything. I started writing stories at the age of 10. Freaking ten years old! I'm now 26 and have nothing to show for it but Heroes & Villains (which, again, I'm very proud of, but still, it's not a published book).

Let's not forget that life gets in the way. I would love to travel and do more posts about that, but I've never had a job that allows that. And I hope to someday be able to blog as my job in order to do that, but how do I get there if I'm always at jobs that keep me from blogging?

I know I'm overthinking it. I think that's a family trait. But I can't help that I get so caught up in what I want that I can't see the present for what it could be. I can imagine blogging as a career all I want, but unless I take the time today to do something about it, that dream will never come true.

I want to rebrand a bit, change what kinds of posts I do. I think that giving myself a more specific niche will help me to actually blog.

I've read dozens of blog posts about "How to be a Successful Blogger" or "How to Make a Career From Blogging" and I keep looking at those posts as things that I can do in the future. But I need to start looking at them as things I can do now. I'm certain I could make my dreams a reality if I just learn to stop being lazy, stop thinking about the unrealistic future, and focus on what I can do now.

I am honestly, probably one of the laziest people you will ever meet. Today I didn't leave my bed all day. I didn't even take my dog outside to let him pee. Granted, I am also sick so there was a slight necessity to my laziness, but even I am getting to a point where I'm sick of my own laziness.

And instead of lying in bed listening to podcasts (I personally love Not Too Deep with Grace Helbig) and watching YouTube videos (I think my Thatcher Joe obsession is getting to be a little bit too much) why didn't I just work on one of the many blog posts I have planned? Even if it doesn't get posted for a while, why didn't I just start?

I don't really know what this post is about, other than letting you know how much of a failure I often believe I am, but I hope (and I can only hope) that this post leads to more soon. Better ones. Much better ones. In fact, I have a good one coming in a few weeks. It's currently my only planned post, I'm very excited for it, but after it's posted I don't really know what else to do.

Anyways, I should end this post now before I embarrass myself too much because, quite honestly, I'm embarrassed to admit all this. Especially the thing about not letting my dog out to pee. In my defense, Zoram laid around and slept all day with me. He didn't whine or show any signs of needing to go until I started putting shoes on to pick up my husband from work. But I am sorry Zoram. I love you very much and I know you can't read, but I hope you can find it in your little heart to forgive me.

And to end this post here's a picture of my adorable dog.

Oh... And this picture was taken on the bathroom floor of my new apartment... which I never mentioned on here that I moved and barely even said it on social media. I'm failing. Sorry.

Happy 1st Birthday Zoram!!

Today is my pup's first birthday! As many of you know, we were able to get Zoram as an emotional support animal after my miscarriage. And when I think of the timeline, it's incredible how it all worked out. I learned about my miscarriage the beginning of November, but had lost my baby about two weeks prior... around the same time Zoram was born. Zoram was meant to come into our lives and he's my little baby until I can have a real one.

Here's a little bit about my pup in honor of his birthday:

-Zoram likes tennis balls, but if it's bigger than a tennis ball he's terrified of it.

-He barks way too much.

-He loves playing with my parent's dog Molly and my in-law's dog Max, though most the time Max and Molly don't seem to have as much fun with him.

-He loves to chew on things a bit too much and if he starts, he's determined to destroy it.

-Zoram loves being outside.

-His best trick is bowing to Chris.

-He loves snuggles and hugs, but only when he wants them.

-He's a fast runner and a lot of the time he seems to jump around while running.

-While he can be a big pain most the time, he really does do his job as an emotional support animal. If I'm ever crying, he knows to calm down and comes over to snuggle.

-He's afraid of everything. Just like me. And when he's scared he always comes to me to protect him.

-He's a mamma's boy, and I love it, though Chris is his best friend and playmate.

-Zoram is the cutest dog in the world. No contest. Don't you dare try to convince me otherwise.

OUR FIRST MEETING

Crazy Pup

While taking these photos Mr. Zoram Gerrard was running around me like a crazy fool. He loves to run. I wish we had a backyard so he could run and run and we wouldn't have to go chasing after him down the street... because unlike my dog I hate running.

Anyways, I want to apologize for these pictures. Clearly Chris still needs to work on his photography skills. He always cuts off my shoes and never gets details shown. We're working on it.

Also, I like the way my hair looks in these. I feel like the ends look more blond in these photos, even though it's technically red, but it's making me think I should dye the ends blond. I do want to change my hair soon. And cut a few inches off. The length is a bit out of control. I still want it long but it's getting hard to manage.

Look, there's Zoram in the corner, going crazy.

Look at that cute little face! I feel like he "poses" for pictures a lot and does that open mouth smile most times I have a camera out. He's so photogenic. 

I may be biased because black is my favorite color, but I think every girl needs a go-to black dress. The above dress is mine. However it's so old I don't remember where it's even from! So below are a bunch of awesome black dresses, all under $50, that you can buy... or I can buy... I want them all!! 

Charity Miles Team!

Hey friends! So as you know I'm always looking for ways to give back. I've recently discovered an awesome app that allows you to help out a charity simply by walking. I've only used it once so far, so I'm not an expert but in this post I'll tell you all I know and how I've formed a team for us to work together.

So you can download Charity Miles on either your Apple or Android phone for free. When you open up the app it immediately opens up a list of organizations that you can choose to run or walk for. There are 37 to choose from and they are all wonderful!

As I mentioned before I have only used the app once and it was to go on a walk with Chris and Zoram. I let Chris choose and his pick was the American Diabetes Association, but you are able to pick a new charity every time you use the app. A lot of the charities are ones that I have previously or have planned to use for Charity of the Month. I'm thinking that if we can build up our team then we can just follow my pick for Charity of the Month and make a bigger dent in helping out an awesome organization. 

I'm getting ahead of myself, let's do a little more explaining.

The app uses the GPS in your phone to measure your distance. It can also use motion sensors if running indoors, but most likely it'll be less accurate. Personally I wish it could connect to my Fitbit and get my miles from there because I've been doing a lot of treadmill workouts. Maybe someday it'll happen. 

However, like with my Fitbit, there are always inconsistencies and room for error. So I wouldn't recommend using this solely to track distance for a workout. For me personally, I just let it do its thing and whether or not the numbers are completely accurate, I'm not going to worry about it. 

Walkers and runners can earn up to 25¢ and cyclists can earn 10¢ per mile. I realize this is not a lot, but as a team we can make a difference. (I promise I'll get to the team in a minute.)

The app is super easy to use. You just open it up, choose your charity, then start your walk. That's it. Insanely easy! When you're done you have the option to share your miles and progress on social media, if you want. This app is fantastic at not taking over any of your social media and posting things that you don't want to. 

I've also been able to connect this app to my Walgreens Balance Rewards account. Walgreens is amazing at helping out organizations in need and I'm able to get rewarded for my efforts using this app and taking care of my body through exercise. You can earn 20 points for every mile. Since I live in walking distance to Walgreens and it's my go-to drop in place, I love that I can get rewards in the store simply by walking, while also helping out charitable organizations. Seriously, how could it get any better than that? 

You can set reminders on the app as well so you don't forget to take your daily walk, run, or bike ride. 

If you have any further questions on this app you can check out their FAQ page HERE. 

Finally, let's get into teams. Because of my desire for Charity of the Month, I've decided to create a team for all of us to work together towards the same goal. Simply go to the menu bar, click teams then type in DancingCowHerd to find our team. I'm currently the only member (big shocker there) and the team page looks like this:

As I said, I've only used this app once while walking my dog, so our team mile total is very low, but I'm planning on doing a 5k soon and if I can find a good way to keep my phone on my person while I run on the treadmill at the gym every day (because I've been doing awesome at it), then my personal miles will go up. Also, hopefully, more people join our team and our team total will grow. 

Now I will continue to do Charity of the Month each month and if the charity I choose is one of the options on this app then I will be using it for the month. I would love if you joined me in choosing the Charity of the Month so we could make a bigger impact for the month, but you are always welcome to choose your own. I would never force you to ignore a charity you are truly passionate about. 

If you decide to download the app, please join our team and don't forget to track your miles. I would love to have you join my team and together we can make a difference. 

____________________________________________________________________

I am not affiliated with Charity Miles or Walgreen Balance Rewards programs in any way. I was not compensated and any views or opinions were my own.

My Favorite Tweets That No One Cared About

I love Twitter and if a random thought pops into my head, I will Tweet it out to my not so loving followers. I love my followers, anyone who agrees to follow anything I do on social media or this blog are heroes to me, but there's isn't always love being returned. Hence, this blog post.

Below are some of my favorite Tweets that I've sent that didn't receive much love, but I can't get over them and am upset no one liked them. We're dealing with some popularity complexes in this post apparently.

(These are only going back to February of last year, though I'm positive when I first joined Twitter there was zero love for me.)

Chris very rudely turned to me and asked "Who's going to die in your book?" And thus, our #ValentinesDay was ruined. #DancingCowBookClub

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 14, 2015

Farkle is like my worst nightmare, it involves math and it's not even real math! #ihategames

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 15, 2015

I finally gave Chris his birthday gift and he loved it! #birthday #ipod #mylover pic.twitter.com/LcULJJHrjh

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 19, 2015

Alright Twitterverse, you're the first to know that my new #YouTube video is up and running! https://t.co/K0EqZQOa3U pic.twitter.com/sBZ5LIoRwI

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 23, 2015

(This is actually kind of cool to look at because yesterday when I Tweeted I had a new video going up it got 5 likes in like twenty minutes. So seeing how far I've come is interesting.)

I had to teach the husband how to tweet so he could finish an assignment. I'm a good wife. #twitter #marriedlife

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) March 5, 2015

(And now Chris Tweets all the time and gets a lot of feedback because the soccer world (which is all he Tweets about) is very vocal. You're welcome Chris.)

This is one of my most favorite things. #hahaha #HarryPotter #owlsaresmart pic.twitter.com/ZHvGDgt5kP

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) March 8, 2015

(This is still one of my most favorite things.)

I wonder if the bouncing of this bus will count on my #Fitbit... #conserviceshuttleride

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) March 17, 2015

(It did, by the way.)

Apparently I make us watch #HowToTrainYourDragon too much, Chris is basically quoting the whole thing to make me feel better. #favoritemovie

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) March 28, 2015

(This was literally the best thing ever. He went through the whole second movie because I was in too much pain to fall asleep. When I told the story on Facebook it got a lot of love, just not on Twitter.)

"I needed answers like a fish needs a bicycle... a lot." #Community #qotd

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) April 4, 2015

My hair is a different color in all my #Instagram pics... that's cool I guess. #hair #longhairdontcare pic.twitter.com/L3C3yk6rBL

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) April 11, 2015

You know it's too quiet when you can hear your fish chewing... #DukeFarnes #FarnesFamilyFishes

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) April 14, 2015

I'm a chaperone for a stake dance tonight. Currently I've been mistaken for a teenager twice.

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) April 19, 2015

Has anyone taken #Hobbit footage of the dwarfs names and put it to the song Nicest Kids in Town from #Hairspray? That should be a thing.

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) April 21, 2015

(Okay, this one did get one like and one retweet, but I still want this to be a thing.)

So tired I was rambling and said "I want to lose weight. I want cake." And Chris just laughed. #marriedlife

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) April 26, 2015

Thank you @jimmyjohns for giving me a free sandwich when I realized I didn't have enough money. This is why you're my favorite place.

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) April 27, 2015

I have a serious disease called "I want to be a writer" that causes me to stay up all night #writing leaving me exhausted all day at work.

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) May 5, 2015

The song "Staying Alive" now forever reminds me of Moriarty... #Sherlock #SHERLOCKED

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) May 13, 2015

Quote from Chris: "I donated enough money to the baby so he could open up a nice shop in the city." #Zelda #TwilightPrincess #marriedlife

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) May 20, 2015

(Sorry, I know this one has a like too, but come on! How could I not post this ridiculous quote?)

And later from Chris: "That little ungrateful baby! He thinks he's soooo smart." #Zelda #TwilightPrincess #Imarriedagamer

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) May 20, 2015

My phone decided to sit down and start an update five minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off. It's lucky I was already awake. 😒

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) May 28, 2015

(I'm only posting this one because I'm pretty sure it's supposed to say "shut down" not "sit down" and I love that it's taken me this long to realize that.)

Today I learned my coworkers think I'm intimidating. As a depressed introvert with social anxiety disorder, this is certainly news to me.

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) June 22, 2015

I feel #Feminism has turned into hating on men or on women who act differently than you but really it's supporting women acting as they want

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) July 30, 2015

Our lil' pumpkin is coming in April. #iampregnant #ChrisandKaylee pic.twitter.com/DYDaZTNRx7

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) October 9, 2015

(I know my pregnancy didn't work out, but it really bothers me that this announcement got only one like on Twitter. Yes, not many of my personal, "real life" friends are on Twitter, and I did receive a lot of love on Facebook, but pregnancy is supposed to be a truly happy thing and to not have much of a response is a bit upsetting... even more upsetting since I miscarried and nothing resulted of it.)

My stomach is starting to pop out, but it still looks a bit more like weight gain than #pregnancy so I'm still hiding it. #14weeks

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) October 14, 2015

(Sadly, at 14 weeks it was mostly weight gain, since the baby stopped growing at 12 weeks.)

I've never had surgery before. And I'm a little nervous.

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) November 4, 2015

(Looking back now, this was the only indication on my Twitter page that I had miscarried. There was no announcement.)

It's really hard to go from "I'm having a baby in April" to "Someday I'll have a baby." I miss my baby. :(

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) November 7, 2015

(Sorry this post is getting a little dark, but I just want to say how badly I want April to come and go. I truly feel like after April 9th I can stop thinking so much about the baby I had lost, because the time frame will be gone. I'll never stop loving and missing my baby, but I think I'll heal better after the due date.)

I'm pretty sure @MeghanRienks and #FelicitySmoak are the same person. For reals. #Arrow

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) November 9, 2015

My Zoram is the cutest thing ever. #zoramgerrard #puppy pic.twitter.com/un50R4aDUs

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) December 6, 2015

Browsing #Pinterest and found #SaltLakeCity pretending to be Denver. I know my #mountains though, I can't be fooled. pic.twitter.com/fYkD6aY9iB

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) December 24, 2015

Somebody find me a job where it's socially acceptable for me to wear this dress everyday. #gorgeous #love pic.twitter.com/hTonsdcaGQ

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) December 24, 2015

I'm taking advantage of my cold to eat all my Christmas candy and not go to the gym. Getting fit can wait when you're sick, right? #sickday

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) January 2, 2016

Sometimes you have to pretend to be asleep so your husband cleans up the dog's mess. That's how marriage works. #ChrisandKaylee #love

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) January 13, 2016

I had a dream I had a baby, and I didn't wake up sad, I woke up determined. #lifeaftermiscarriage #Babyhungry

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) January 18, 2016

Zoram's pee pad has the exact print of #mickeymouse. I'm impressed with my pup's aim. #zoramgerrard

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) January 29, 2016

My #Snapchat story is mildly entertaining right now. I'm so bored! Username: cowgirlkaylee22 #ChrisandKaylee #love pic.twitter.com/K4cPxALUol

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 4, 2016

This is my new favorite family photo. #FarnesFamily #ChrisandKaylee #zoramgerrard #roadtrip pic.twitter.com/XfAoicSOAT

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 17, 2016

This is the only picture needed for #NationalToastDay. #jackblack #goodtoast pic.twitter.com/SvIsyzdmyp

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 24, 2016

(I'm honestly offended no one liked this one. Especially my husband who agreed it was the perfect thing to post that day.)

#qotd from @Cfarnes89: "Puppy and I like to make out, but we just rub our faces together." Ha ha, what?!? #zoramgerrard #puppylove #haha

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) March 4, 2016

And finally, I've learned if you want people to start liking your Tweets, get a puppy. 

If you feel unloved on Twitter, I promise you it doesn't mean anything. Everyone is loved, Twitter is just dumb. But for the next week I'll do a follow for a follow, if if you follow my Twitter this week, I will follow you back and give you a like to one of your Tweets. Sounds worth it to me.

Sunday Scrapbook [Feb. 21st - 27th, 2016]

Hello friends! Today I am started a new segment on my blog that will hopefully help me keep up with blogging. Part of the reason I started this blog was to document my life and I feel like that portion has disappeared. So I've decided every Sunday to do a quick recap of my week with pictures. Kind of like a scrapbook, but without all the prettiness. Let me warn you now, I don't do anything with my life. Most the pictures and videos I'll post are me playing with filters on Snapchat (cowgirlkaylee22), but regardless documenting my life is important to me which is why this is happening. I hope you enjoy it and if you do something similar to this on your blog let me know, I'd love to see more examples of ways to make this better and make it my own.


Sunday February 21st:

Umm.... I'm pretty sure I did nothing today. Yeah. Nothing. But I did blog! You can find the post called Becoming A Warrior HERE. It's a personal favorite and was pretty popular on my Twitter. I'm so Twitter famous *wink wink. I also got an email through this blog which means something exciting is happening soon!!! ...it's a giveaway. I couldn't wait to spill the secret. Start liking my social media pages now to get more entries into the giveaway! I'm not sure exactly when it'll happen, but soon.

Monday February 22nd:

I did way too much shopping today. Ross, American Eagle, and Cotton On. I will be doing a haul video soon so you can see all my purchases! Also, I replaced Chris with my bear Oso:

Tuesday February 23rd:

Today was apparently National Toast Day. (How would we ever know about these obscure holidays without social media? Thanks Twitter for the heads-up.) So I posted this photo on Twitter in honor of the holiday:

And I'll be honest, I was really upset that no one liked my Tweet. Does no one care about Nacho Libre? Sure you may not be able to quote it as easily or often as my husband, but doesn't it still just make you laugh? It's Jack Black for crying out loud!!

Wednesday February 24th:

So last night I slept with my hair in braids so I would have wavy hair and, yeah, it was insane.

(Sorry for the blurry picture) This picture is even tame compared to the way it looked right after I took the braids out. It's been a long time since I've done this with my hair and considering how annoying it was I'm pretty sure I remember why I stopped. Although this kid at my work said it looked nice.

Also, I need to get my ombre fixed. In pictures it always looks like I'm in weird lighting so the top is randomly dark. I want to go back to my cousin since she originally did my color, but she lives to far away it's hard to justify a long drive just for a hair dye. So if you live in Cache Valley and want to do my hair for cheap you should let me know.

So last Saturday Zoram started his puppy training classes, which he embarrassed us in. But we got some pointers on leash walking, which previously Zoram would have nothing to do with. This week he picked it up quickly. Honestly, Sunday Chris was dragging Zoram around on the leash and today:

He's a little professional. We spent our lunch break walking him around the block. It's a short walk, but he's doing fantastic and he loves it.

Thursday February 25th:

Work is hard. Being an adult is hard. And when you're tired, nauseous, and have a headache, there's no better day to wear your hair in pigtails and pretend you have a weird mustache.

 

Friday February 26th:

Today I built a metal shelf thing I bought at K-Mart's closing sale that goes above the toilet. But it's slightly lopsided and I couldn't get one of the shelves to fit. I'm upset.

Then I went into Chris's work with Zoram and let him wander the aisles. Whenever Zoram saw his reflection in a refrigerator or oven he would freak out and it was pretty funny. I'm pretty sure he technically shouldn't be wandering Sears, but I'm grateful that Chris's boss hasn't said anything about it.

When we got back home I was making Chris watch My Fair Lady with me, but he fell asleep before "The Rain in Spain" which is lame. I stopped it at intermission anyways because it was already midnight. I grew up with musicals, I love musicals, and I love introducing them to Chris even though he's never a big fan. Except with Phantom of the Opera, because let's be honest that movie was incredible and the music is just so dang good!! Anyways, here's a Spotify playlist of my favorite musicals, it's fun to put on shuffle and great to sing along to.

Saturday February 27th:

Today I woke up at like 11, because Saturdays are my sleep in days, then immediately took Zoram on a long walk, then spent forever getting ready while watching 13 Going on 30, then took Zoram on another walk to PetSmart for his class. Zoram was great in his class today because it was on loose leash walking... which we walked to the class so he didn't need too much extra help. I don't think he is going to have his bad reputation in class anymore! Yay!

Notable tweets of the week:

8 years ago I decided not to commit suicide. While I still have daily trials, I am so grateful for that decision. #SuicideAwareness

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 23, 2016

I just wish I had a work best friend like @JoslynDavis and @lily_marston. My grown up job is too lame. #friendshipgoals

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 25, 2016

It takes all my will power not to freak out when #zoramgerrard is licking my hand. My fear of dogs is better, but not fully gone. #puppy

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 25, 2016

It's funny how I used to hate the love songs in musicals and thought they were boring. #musicals #love

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 27, 2016

#zoramgerrard's second puppy class went better. He still has a lot of work though. #puppy #puppytraining #petsmart pic.twitter.com/PYWqNMzTBY

— Kaylee ♡ (@cowgirl_kaylee) February 27, 2016

Happy Tuesday - 2/23/16

Kisses

Oso (The giant teddy bear I got for Valentine's Day)

Puppy classes, and the hope Zoram will learn to behave

Music, always music

Deadpool

Popcorn and cookies

Sales

Shopping (I will probably doing a haul video soon)

Getting a new wallet (finally)

Multiple good hair days in a row

My Chris... but he's too perfect sometimes... it's intimidating... but better than any alternative

Zoram

So if you watched my last YouTube video and/or read my blog very carefully and/or follow me on social media... you would know I've gotten a dog. His name is Zoram Gerrard Farnes, he's pretty adorable, and he's an emotional support animal that was prescribed to me from an therapist, but Chris picked him out and basically surprised me with him. Zoram is a sheltie. He's almost three months old now and he's already grown so much since we first got him.

There's so much more I could say about Zoram but I decided it would be more fun to just show you all the pictures and videos I've taken since we've gotten him. Most of these are from my Snapchat, which you are welcome to follow if you'd like to see more (cowgirlkaylee22).

(Also, I know these are in a weird order. I'm too tired, and honestly lazy, to fix it. Please forgive me.)

Happy Tuesday 1/12/2016

Not being sick anymore

Getting started on my New Years Resolutions

Workout soreness

Having fantastic numbers at work

My Q&A a Day 5 Year Journal

All my R2D2 stuff I got for Christmas

Sunny days (even though it's still freezing)

Having my own car temporarily

Feeling at peace

Chris and Zoram

My Favorite Things of 2015

My Dog Almost Ate My Ultrasound Pictures Today

My dog almost ate my ultrasound pictures today... 

I came home and Zoram had jumped up and ripped a piece of paper off the fridge.
Tearing it off the magnet.
Inches above it were my pictures.
That had been there since I first got them.

September 10th, 2015.
The day I first saw my baby,
Heard the heartbeat,
And everything became real.

I was happy, blissful, ready to be a mother,
Protecting my unborn child the best I could,
Planning for its future
Preparing for its arrival.

November 3rd, 2015.
The last time I saw my baby.
No heartbeat.
Gone.

But I had kept the pictures there on the fridge.
I had to.

Because those pictures weren't what hurt me.
Those pictures didn't make me cry myself to sleep every night,
Scream in anger at nothing and nobody,
Want to rip out my hair, claw at my arms with my fingernails just to feel real pain,
Because I couldn't handle emotional pain anymore.

No.

Those picture didn't hurt me.

They reminded me of the happiness,
Of feeling whole,
Of feeling like a mother,
Of never believing anything could go wrong,
Of feeling loved.

They remind me of those months I had my baby.
And I cannot lose those months.
I cannot forget my baby.

That's why, coming home tonight, seeing those pictures on the fridge,
Seeing the danger they had been in,
I began to cry.

I lifted Zoram into my arms,
Let my tears fall into his fur,
And I told him the story.

I told him of my baby.
Of the moment I found out I was pregnant,
How happy I was,
How Chris had held me, just as happy as I had been.
How Chris couldn't keep the secret,
How happy our families were,

And how we had lost it.

I told him of how friends came from far away to tell me their stories,
To give me their sympathy in a way that I knew they understood my pain.

I told him how grateful I was for everyone after that moment,
How people I hadn't talked to in years reached out to me,
Gave me their love,
And let me know that I would be okay.

I told Zoram how I'm still hurt, but I'm healing.

I told him how everything I went through,
Was how he was able to join our family.

I'm not okay.
No one is okay after something like this.
I had a baby,
And now I don't.

But now I know how loved I truly am.

And through all the hurt,
Through all the pain,
I can sometimes still smile,
When I see those ultrasound pictures,
And remember that

I am loved.

I am strong.

And I will be okay. 

Happy Tuesday - 12/29/2015

That 2015 is almost over

Short weeks at work

That I have a YouTube video going up tomorrow!!

New clothes

A new brush

Journals and books

Having the greatest Christmas

My new iPad!!

My puppy Zoram (sometimes)

Beauty Break

Making Snapchat videos of my puppy

And Chris