Life | Spiritual Thought

There have been many moments in my life where I believed all was lost and I would never repair myself. I wanted life to end. I wanted to escape from the pain, reality, and difficulty of it all. Life didn't feel fair.

Life is never fair though.

It's not meant to be fair. No one can have a perfect life and no one can have the exact same life. It wouldn't make sense, it wouldn't be real. No one would progress and change, no one would feel.

I think the biggest reality of the unfairness of this world is death.

I remember when my aunt died of cancer. I remember how I didn't take it well. Even if she lived in California and I saw her maybe once a year, having to watch such an incredible, kind, brave woman battle cancer and die from it was so hard on me.

I didn't know how to cope.

I was asked to sing at the funeral and I remember struggling to get through it, my emotions and tears taking over my voice. My uncle still loved it, he told me so, but I remember being ashamed, feeling that I had ruined a beautiful moment.

I was lost at the time.

I grew up in the LDS church and we are taught that there is an afterlife. That we are sealed to our families for eternity. That we will see our family members again after we die.

We never truly lose someone.

But when my aunt died, my heart was lost and I didn't believe it. I didn't believe that I would see her again. And it felt so unfair that this amazing woman was just gone.

There was a moment in my life that changed me.

I had been broken for a long time. I had been viciously cutting and burning myself. And one night in college I ran away and I found myself on the steps of an LDS church building in the middle of the night.

And I prayed.

And I didn't feel anything after. There was no light from heaven, there was no prompting, there was no comfort. My pain didn't disappear it didn't diminish. In that moment, nothing changed.

I didn't know it at the time, but my entire life would shift from that moment on.

It was slow and gradual, but my heart began finding the light again. And I believe with every part of me, that it was not a coincidence that only a week later I would meet the man who would later become my husband, and who I believe is my soulmate.

God is good.

He teaches us when and how we need to be taught. He has a path and a plan for our lives. It's never easy or fair or what we want. He knows what's best.

I know I am sealed to my family for eternity.

My family means the world to me. My parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, in-laws, husband, and my beautiful baby girls. I know we are all part of a bigger plan. I will see my aunt again. I will see my grandpa again. And I will see my angel baby again.

The world lost a great man.

President Thomas S. Monson passed away. He was a prophet of God. He inspired me. He spoke, and I couldn't help but listen. He would tell me to do something and I wanted to go and do it. I think, more than any apostle in the LDS church, he was the one that helped me find myself when I was lost.

He is not gone, though.

He is now reunited with his sweet wife. And his words have resonated in the hearts of many people and will live on for eternity. And while he may not dwell on earth anymore, he will always live in our hearts and in our memory.

Death is not the end.

And our lives have so much more meaning than we could ever imagine.

And I love knowing.

Photo Credits: Fox 13

My 2018 New Year's Resolutions

Hello friends! It's a new year and I always get so excited, hyping up the new year and hoping it'll be better than the last. The past few years have been hard, but 2017 overall was good. I got pregnant after three years of trying and a miscarriage, and I was so blessed to have my beautiful twins, who I'm just obsessed with. Yes, I spent most the year pregnant and miserable, and the medical bills have been an adventure, but 2017 was the best year I've had in a while. So good job 2017!

Last year I made tons of goals/resolutions for the year (which I'll talk about a little later on in this post). My whole reasoning was that with tons of goals, I would at least accomplish some of them. I didn't care about getting everything done on my list... I think part of me knew I would get pregnant and most my life plans/goals would change.

This year, I'm doing the complete opposite. Because I only have one goal. So if I don't accomplish it then it'll be really sad. Now, even though it's technically one goal, it has a few parts to it, so let's go over my goal for 2018.

TO WRITE

That's it. Very simple, straightforward, not complicated at all. But honestly, it will (hopefully) be the most impactful goal of my entire life.

I have said on this blog so many times that I want to be a book author. But have you seen any books of mine yet? Nope. Because I don't write enough. I was ten when I first knew I wanted to write. TEN! I'm now twenty-seven. That's seventeen years of wasted time! Honestly, I'm sick of being upset with myself, so we're doing this!!

As I said there are a few parts to it, so let's go over that.

First is possibly the obvious one, to write my books and finish a book. I have way too many story ideas written down and I just need to finish one. And yes, I would love to get published as soon as possible, but that's not going to be my goal until I complete a book.

The second is working on Heroes & Villains as well as a few other short story ideas I'm workshopping (which is the beginning of a whole other blog I'm thinking of, but that's another story for another day). I love Heroes & Villains but I don't work on it enough because I just want my readers to be caught up to where I am. I'm skipping ahead to the end, but forgetting to work on the foundation first. I've already been working on this quite a bit and you can expect the next collection of stories to start arriving very soon.

Lastly is writing on this blog. Every year I say I'm going to write more but then I never do. But I'm really thinking this will be my year. Why? Because I'm a stay-at-home mom who now has so much more time to work on blogging! I also have a friend who's going to help out with taking photos and that maybe someday I can convince to be my assistant because she's ridiculously organized and amazing at life. She's also my BFFL so working with her is like the ultimate dream job.

So, yeah, my goal this year is to write and that's it. But I'm really happy about it. I've never loved a goal more in my life nor have I ever been more motivated to reach a goal (except maybe last year with my whole pregnancy goal).

Here's just a recap of all my goals from last year and a look at what I was able to accomplish:

MY 2018 GOALS & RESOLUTIONS
	HEALTH		SPIRITUAL		BLOGGING
Yes	-Eat healthier	Yes	-Pray daily	No	-Find my style
Yes	-Get to sleep/rise early	No	-Read the Book of Mormon	No	-Work on the Chris & Kaylee Show
No	-Workout 4x per week	No	-Visit the temple monthly	Yes	-Find my voice
No	-Run a 5k	Maybe	-Become more Christlike	Yes	-Be myself
No	-Lose fat, gain muscle	No	-Give service daily	No	-Become a #BossBabe
Yes	-Dance	No	-Have family home evening	No	-Blog at least 2x per week
	HOME LIFE		FINANCIAL	No	-Get 2 blog sponsors
No	-Cook more	No	-Pay all bills on time	Yes	-Learn how to make money blogging
Yes	-Move into an apartment	No	-Save up money for a trip	Ish	-Start vlogging
No	-Clean home daily	No	-Become financially stable	No	-Take video editing course
No	-Craft more		FUN	No	-Be more active on social media
No	-Sew four projects	No	-Find 1 new city event a month	Yes	-Work on photography skills
No	-Grow a plant	No	-Explore everywhere		WRITING
	PERSONAL	No	-Visit museums	No	-Weekly writing prompts
Yes	-Think positively	No	-Sing more	Yes	-Find my voice
Yes	-Be a warrior	Yes	-Dance more	No	-Learn more
Yes	-Be a better wife	No	-Plan a trip	No	-Go to a writing conference
Yes	-Love more			No	-Take a writing course
Yes	-Work with passion			No	-Publish a short story on Amazon
Yes	-Find my voice			Yes	-Write 30 minutes a day
No	-Tell my story			No	-Read more
Yes	-Be myself
Yes	-Become pregnant/learn what my body needs to have a baby

So yeah... didn't do great. But as I mentioned, getting pregnant changed a lot of things. Especially when I found out it was twins. Small tangent here, I had every intention to keep working after having my baby until I learned it was twins. Because affording any sort of childcare for twins would be impossible. Though affording to live on one income is difficult as well, but we are picking our battles here.

Of course, just because I didn't reach those goals last year doesn't mean I'm completely giving up on them. Some of them are lifelong goals so I'll be continuing on with them in mind.

Last note, I always pick a theme song for the year and this year was just super difficult because there are so many that I thought of. So I made a whole playlist of them which you can listen to below. Basically, this year is about getting work done (which is ironic since I'm technically unemployed) and these are all songs that motivate me. But I did end up choosing one main one and you can read about it HERE.

Well, I think that's it for this post. Let me know your goals for the new year in the comment section below! Thanks, you're a hero! 

Thoughts On Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, future moms, and women who have influenced someone else (yes, that counts). This marks the first year my husband gave me something for Mother's Day: white roses and "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" the movie, because, let's be honest, he's been rereading all the Harry Potter novels and he's a bit obsessed at the moment. But I appreciate the gift, all the same, I love the movie too.

I remember last year Mother's Day was very different. I had lost my child months prior, had been trying desperately to get pregnant again, to no success, and was absolutely devastated that I wasn't a mother. In my younger years, I was the type of girl who dreamed of being a mother, of taking care of my children. I was not the type of girl who dreamed of who I would marry. I wanted a family, I wasn't desperately looking for a man. I knew, even at a young age, that the man I marry would have to be a good father, and would want a family as much as I do.

Good thing the Lord led me to my soulmate, who hit all my qualifications and more.

I've now been married to my soulmate for four years. Which, when you believe that you are sealed together for eternity, doesn't seem like very long, but at the same time, it's a fairly long time in our current society. Chris is my best friend, and over the past four years, our marriage and friendship have continued to grow. I'm a huge fan of that Brad Paisley song, "Then", which states "And I thought I loved you then." The day I got married, four years ago, I didn't think it was possible to love Chris more, but I find my love for him grows stronger every day.

And now, here we are, months away from becoming a couple with a dog to a family of four. Having twins was completely unexpected, yet at the same time, when I heard the news, it just felt right. I am always amazed at the path my Father in Heaven has set for me. I lost a child and was heartbroken over it. And while nothing can replace that child, I now get two at once to help make up for lost time with my first. They say a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant, well I first got pregnant in July of 2015, so I am ready to be a mother. 

And I know that having twins will be a struggle. Money has always been an issue as I am still struggling to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life. Being pregnant with twins is already making me miserable, and I'm not even halfway through my pregnancy. Caring for two kids, no, two babies can't be the easiest feat when I've never had a child of my own before. Yet I have been filled with so much peace and confidence, that I barely even worry. 

I know the reason I am so confident to become a mother, is because of the many women who have been mothers to me in my life and their influence on me. 

Growing up LDS, I had my ward family. I had primary and young women's leaders who were like second mothers to me. And they still are. There is a whole group of women in my parent's neighborhood who love and support me. When I moved back into my parent's home last September, I began to realize how much I love these women, how much they love me, and how much they support and influence my life. They have always encouraged me to do my best, to be my best self, and to live my dreams. These women supported me and showered me with gifts as I was getting married four years ago. They were excited when I first got pregnant and showed me all the love and heartbreak of a true friend when I miscarried. And now, as I am expecting my twins, they want to again shower me with gifts and love because they are the secondary mothers that helped raise me. 

I love these women and the way they have shaped me into who I am. Just this last week I watched as many of them first learned about my twins. One even cried, coming up to me, and told me how grateful she was for God's hand in my life. These women want the best for me, even after years of living away from them. They are my other mothers and I love them and am truly grateful for them. 

I grew up in the dance world. And while "Dance Moms" may get a bad rap on TV, there were many dance moms and teachers who helped me through my life. I believe that as a child, I had a hard time recognizing my depression because dance made me so happy. And through the dance community, I had a group of women, and fellow dancers, who helped me when I needed them. Particularly in college, when I was away from home, my dance coaches were like my other parents. They cared about me and pushed me to be my best. When they came to my wedding I was both shocked and thrilled. These were people who helped me through my first few years of college. They were my other parents, my college mother, and I have so much love and appreciation for them. 

Despite my hatred of high school, I have a particular love for the women who were my English teachers. I want to be a writer, and it's not an easy path. But I had so many wonderful teachers who believed in me and my writing. They supported me and my future career. They taught me the foundation that could lead me to success. I never believe I thanked them enough, and when I got to college and realized my professors weren't nearly as supportive as my high school teachers, my love for those few teachers grew even more. These were all women who had thousands of students passing through their classrooms, but they took time, even just a little bit, to tell me that I could succeed, that I had potential, and that, if I continued to learn, I could achieve my dreams. 

Throughout my life, I've had two extra mothers, my Nana and my Grandma. Both of these women raised their children with such love and respect, believing in their children and supporting them through it all. As their granddaughter, I've gotten a lot of this same love and support. As a child, I remember the excitement of exploring my Nana's backyard and the fun when had doing crafts together. My Nana taught me to find the beauty in little things, as we turned pinecones into a work of art. Four years ago my Grandma moved to Utah to be closer to my mom and aunt. Over the past few years, my relationship with my Grandma has continued to grow. Her excitement for the small accomplishments I achieve make me feel proud of myself. She believes in me, as does my Nana. Both my grandmothers, while not being my real mothers, are extra mothers to me. They show me all the love and support of my real mother and I've had a lifetime of their motherly love, and could not be more grateful for them. 

Four years ago I gained a new family, a family that was so easy to love as much as my own. In my marriage, I gained another mother. My mother-in-law is an incredible mother. The love that she has for each of her boys has been an incredible thing for me to watch and to learn from. And that I get the spoils of that motherly love as well, blesses my life and my marriage immensely. This is a woman who believes in God through everything and asks for his help through even the smallest of things. She influences me to trust in God more, even when I am at my worst. When I lost my child, she lost a grandchild, and she shared in my heartbreak. She gave me a beautiful painting of Jesus holding a child, and while the artist didn't paint it for me, I see that painting and know that my lost child is with Jesus, that they are protected and loved. 

I love the man that I married and I know that he is the person he is today because of his parents, because of his mother. I am so grateful to my mother-in-law for the man that she raised. I am treated like a queen on a daily basis. Chris didn't have any sisters, all he knew about relationships with women was built in his relationship with his mom, and I am continually amazed at the person that she has shaped him to be. I love my official second mother and the support and love that she gives me and my husband. She cares for me just as much as she does her own children and I love her with all of my heart.

It is impossible for me to love another woman the way I do my own mom, though. 

My mom has helped saved my life. In high school, when I was suicidal, my mother found my diary and learned of the pain I was going through. She wrote me a letter, a letter I still have to this day, that changed my perspective. My mom is my greatest hero. I've watched her go through trials and come out on top. She is such a hard worker and has done so much for her children. She loves each of her children and wants them to be their best. She believes in us and wants us to be happy, but has helped let us know that happiness cannot always come easily. 

My siblings and I were raised in the church, and while I myself have had my struggles staying in the church, as I am finding my way back, I realize what a blessing it was to grow up in. I would not have had my ward mothers without the church, I would not have been the person that I am, and being doing the things I'm doing with the church, and, most important, I would not be with my soulmate without the church. I cannot thank my mother enough for raising us as Latter-Day Saints. I would not be who I am without it, I would not have survived my depression, my miscarriage, without it. And while being a member of the LDS church has never been easy for me, I know that it's the right path for me, and my mother helped keep me on that path. I could not image raising my children without the gospel. As my twins are on their way, I'm putting more focus on the church because my children need it as much as I did, and I'm grateful for my mom for teaching me that. 

My mother is already spoiling my twins and I'm so happy that I'll be the first to make her a grandmother. I'm also grateful for the way she raised her own children to be best friends. My sister and brother are my best friends, and I hope and pray that I can be like my mother and create strong friendships between my own children. I want to be a mom like my own mother. I want my children to have the same love and support that my mother always gave me. I want to be able to teach my children about life the way that my mom did. I want to be the same mother to my children as my mother was to me. For me, there is no greater mother to influence me. 

As I am on my path to becoming a mother to two children, I am influenced by the many mothers in my life; ward members, neighbors, dance coaches, teachers, friend's mothers, grandmothers, in-laws, and my own mother. These are all women who made me who I am. These are all my mothers and I wish each of them a happy Mother's Day, and hope they know how much I love them all and how I am striving every day to take the lessons they taught me, to become a wonderful mother for my own children. 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Will Blogging Ever NOT Be Hard For Me?

That's a serious question. I want a serious answer. For reals, I make all these goals, I set plans, schedule posts, have a ginormous list of posts I want to write, and then I still go over a month without posting. Will blogging ever become easy for me? And if so, how do I speed up that process?

Despite having a freaking long list of posts, I'm in a writer's rut. I can't even get myself to work on Heroes & Villains which has an actual deadline and is insanely important to me. If anything, that should be my focus, but I can't even bring myself to do that.

I've also filmed quite a few videos to put on my YouTube channel, but once I get to editing, I panic that they aren't good enough and just discard them. They still exist, but will probably never be posted for public viewing.

I'm just stuck between my high expectations and reality. See, I have a very, very vivid imagination, which I love and I think that's what allows me to be a writer. But in my imagination, I see myself as a successful blogger, YouTuber, and writer. And when I realize that I started my blog four years ago and nothing has come of it, I get insanely discouraged.

I've never been the type of person who always believes in myself. In fact, I've spent many years of my life struggling with self-loathing. I am so good at putting myself down and making myself believe that no matter how hard I try, I won't amount to anything. I started writing stories at the age of 10. Freaking ten years old! I'm now 26 and have nothing to show for it but Heroes & Villains (which, again, I'm very proud of, but still, it's not a published book).

Let's not forget that life gets in the way. I would love to travel and do more posts about that, but I've never had a job that allows that. And I hope to someday be able to blog as my job in order to do that, but how do I get there if I'm always at jobs that keep me from blogging?

I know I'm overthinking it. I think that's a family trait. But I can't help that I get so caught up in what I want that I can't see the present for what it could be. I can imagine blogging as a career all I want, but unless I take the time today to do something about it, that dream will never come true.

I want to rebrand a bit, change what kinds of posts I do. I think that giving myself a more specific niche will help me to actually blog.

I've read dozens of blog posts about "How to be a Successful Blogger" or "How to Make a Career From Blogging" and I keep looking at those posts as things that I can do in the future. But I need to start looking at them as things I can do now. I'm certain I could make my dreams a reality if I just learn to stop being lazy, stop thinking about the unrealistic future, and focus on what I can do now.

I am honestly, probably one of the laziest people you will ever meet. Today I didn't leave my bed all day. I didn't even take my dog outside to let him pee. Granted, I am also sick so there was a slight necessity to my laziness, but even I am getting to a point where I'm sick of my own laziness.

And instead of lying in bed listening to podcasts (I personally love Not Too Deep with Grace Helbig) and watching YouTube videos (I think my Thatcher Joe obsession is getting to be a little bit too much) why didn't I just work on one of the many blog posts I have planned? Even if it doesn't get posted for a while, why didn't I just start?

I don't really know what this post is about, other than letting you know how much of a failure I often believe I am, but I hope (and I can only hope) that this post leads to more soon. Better ones. Much better ones. In fact, I have a good one coming in a few weeks. It's currently my only planned post, I'm very excited for it, but after it's posted I don't really know what else to do.

Anyways, I should end this post now before I embarrass myself too much because, quite honestly, I'm embarrassed to admit all this. Especially the thing about not letting my dog out to pee. In my defense, Zoram laid around and slept all day with me. He didn't whine or show any signs of needing to go until I started putting shoes on to pick up my husband from work. But I am sorry Zoram. I love you very much and I know you can't read, but I hope you can find it in your little heart to forgive me.

And to end this post here's a picture of my adorable dog.

Oh... And this picture was taken on the bathroom floor of my new apartment... which I never mentioned on here that I moved and barely even said it on social media. I'm failing. Sorry.

I Am Still Living

I am still living. 

I have been suicidal. 

I have cut myself, burned myself, made myself bleed, made myself cry. 

I have hated myself, brought myself down. 

I have lost a child and not been able to have another. 

I have lost my religion and found my way back again. 

I have sabotaged my own happiness. 

I have torn down my self esteem and fought to get it back.

I have driven into the night not knowing if I would return. 

I have starved myself.

I have screamed, cried, and questioned why I feel this way.

I have had darkness take over, consume by body. 

I have given in.

I have let myself break, I have given up. 

I have fought back.

I have lived with depression for as long as I can remember.

I have coped, I have fallen, and done everything in between.

I have prayed.

I have turned to Christ.

I have become a warrior.

I have turned to family and friends.

I have cried in my husband's arms. 

I have hated the world that doesn't seem to understand. 

I have hated myself. 

I have told myself things would be better more times than I can count. 

I have found happiness and lost it again. 

I have been strong and I have been weak. 

I have been emotional. 

I have started a day positive only to fall apart by the end. 

I have given up. 

I have made goals. 

I have become a different person, time and time again. 

I have depression. 

And I am still living. 

❤

Heroes & Villains Character List

Hello, my friends! Here is a running list of all characters in my Heroes & Villains series. This includes villains, heroes, and everyone in between. This post will be regularly updated to add new characters or character information. If you ever think this post is missing something important about a character, leave it in the comment section below and I'll get it entered in. Thanks!

Last Updated: November 26th, 2017

BENJAMIN BAKER, 
AKA THE KNIGHT DRAGON

-Ben is the main protagonist of this series. He is first seen as himself in "Eleanor Washington vs. the Interview" or as the Knight Dragon in "The Knight Dragon."

-Ben was born and raised in Apple Creek and grew up in the Baker family, the richest family in the city and owner of the largest technological and engineering company in the nation, Bakersfield. Ben grew up just outside the central city skyscrapers in a large mansion with his older brother Brian, and younger siblings Kacey and Bradley. His dad, Brandon, is the owner and CEO of Bakersfield. Ben's mother, Reese has always been a stay-at-home mother but has continually helped in running Bakersfield.

-Ben is currently the next in line to run Bakersfield and works alongside his father as a second, though lesser, CEO.

-Ben works his nights as the Knight Dragon, a hero with the power to produce fire from his body. He works many high profile cases and is known as one of the stronger, more successful heroes in the city. His father, a retired hero, trained Ben in becoming a hero. Ben's father is the only member of the Baker's family who knows of Ben's powers.

-Ben is single, though has a city-wide reputation of dating many women, though he often protests that this reputation is based only on the year after his high school graduation when he went on many dates with multiple women, some of whom were already in relationships. The press often portrays Ben as the city's most popular bachelor due to his good looks and money, though in recent years, mostly due to his secret hero identity, Ben has tried to stay out of the press and the limelight.

ELEANOR WASHINGTON

-Ellie is our other main protagonist in the series. She is first seen in "Eleanor Washington" though her character isn't really introduced until "Eleanor Washington vs. the Interview."

-Ellie was born and raised in Apple Creek in the southern part of the city known as the Island. Ellie's parent's died in a bombing when she was nine years old, and not much else is known about her parents. After their deaths, Ellie moved in with her grandpa, Carl. Ellie considers Carl more of a parent than her real parents ever were. She grew up without much money and bullied by many of her classmates, but she never once lost her positivity or enthusiasm for life. She suffered a massive crush on Benjamin Baker in middle school and covered her bedroom walls with pictures of him cut out from newspapers and magazines.

-Ellie grew up with a desire to learn and build. She graduated from Apple Creek University with a degree in both mechanical and electrical engineering. During college, she invented the Wonder Key, a device inserted in a key meant to assist when lost, though she had her name taken off the patents and blueprints. She currently works for Bakersfield as a data entry worker, entering information into their systems.

-Ellie also works as the personal tech assistant to the Knight Dragon. She built his suit, creating a new fabric to do so. The Knight Dragon has often used Ellie as part of his cases and depends on her as part of his team.

-Ellie is dating Arthur Wallace, and they have been dating since their senior year in high school. Ellie sees marriage in their near future and hopes to spend her life with him.

ROGER ADAMS,
AKA THE SPEEDSTER

-Roger is the best friend to Ben and sidekick to the Knight Dragon. He is first mentioned as the Speedster in "The Knight Dragon" and introduced in "The Knight Dragon vs. His New Suit."

-Roger grew up in the central city in an apartment with his parents and twin brother Kevin. His parents divorced when Roger was fourteen years old, and despite the apparent riff between his parents, Roger has maintained a good relationship with both of them.

-Roger is a hero known as the Speedster with the power to run quickly. Despite the Board of Supers offering Roger a full-time solo hero position, Roger elected to work alongside his lifelong best friend. The Knight Dragon and the Speedster as a team work well together, and while they consider themselves a partnership, the majority of the city considers the Speedster to be a sidekick.

-Roger is engaged to Karen Warner, a woman he met in college through a friend. They were inseparable since the beginning and Ben is quoted saying he knew the moment he saw them together that they would get married.

-Roger works as his old high school as a history teacher and track coach. He loves the ability he has to control his power enough to show up all his students on the track, while also training them to become faster. His students love him and work hard for him.

OTHER MAIN CHARACTERS (In order of appearance)

-WILMA is the executive secretary who sits outside Brandon and Benjamin Baker's office doors. She monitors any visitors for the CEOs and is a personal family friend to the Bakers. First seen in "Eleanor Washington vs. the Interview."

-RYLIE BLACK is Ellie's team lead, AKA, her boss. She is first seen in "The Knight Dragon vs. the Mortician Part 1." Rylie attended the same high school as Ellie as the two have never gotten along well, as Rylie was one of Ellie's bullies. Rylie is one of the many Apple Creek females with a crush on Benjamin Baker.

-CARL WASHINGTON, Ellie's grandpa, is first seen in "Carl and Ellie." Carl is the man who raised Ellie after her parents died. Carl's wife left him shortly after their marriage and died of cancer years later. He lives on his own in the Island and works for a small production factory for small wages. He has weekly morning game parties with Ellie every Sunday.

-LIONEL THOMPSON is the police chief in Apple Creek first seen in "The Knight Dragon vs. the Farmer." Lionel is best friends with Brandon Baker and sees Ben as another son. Lionel has three kids of his own, two boys and one girl. He is happily married.

-KACEY BAKER is Ben's only sister, first seen in "The Knight Dragon vs. the Evil Santa." Kacey is the twin of the youngest Baker child, Bradley. The Baker family has a long-standing tradition that all boys have a name that starts with the letter "B" and occasionally Kacey feels left out that her name doesn't fit in with her siblings. Kacey idolizes her brother, Ben (though she has no knowledge of his hero career) and gets along with him better than her other brothers.

-ARTHUR "ART" WALLACE is Ellie's long-term boyfriend. He is first seen in "Benjamin Baker vs. the New Years Party" and is immediately despised by Ben, despite Ellie's adoration for him. Art works at his family's hardware store. He grew up in a different state and is still not used to being in a city filled with superheroes and villains. When he first moved to Apple Creek his senior year of high school, Ellie immediately caught his attention, and despite their classmate's un-approval, he knew he had to date her. They love each other fiercely and plan to spend their lives together.

-REESE BAKER is the mother of the Baker children and husband to Brandon Baker. She is first introduced in "Benjamin Baker vs. the New Years Party" as the party planner. She loves and supports each of her children and raised them as a stay-at-home mom.

-BRADLEY BAKER is the youngest Baker child and twin to Kacey. Introduced in "Benjamin Baker vs. the New Years Party" as a boy very aware of his family's wealth and sees himself as better than others. He is a senior in college without much of an idea of what he will do with his life.

-BRANDON BAKER is the father of the Baker family first seen in "Benjamin Baker vs. the New Years Party." Brandon is the CEO of Bakersfield, his family's company for generations. Brandon is a retired superhero, The Golden Man. He was the city's most popular and successful hero. He retired from hero work shortly after defeating his nemesis, the Master. His choice to retire was because of his kids. His family knew of his hero work and stared at the news every time he had to battle a villain. Brandon decided he didn't want his kids living in fear anymore and retired. He trained his son, Ben to be the Knight Dragon and encouraged him to keep his hero identity a secret from the family.

-CASSANDRA EVANS is the leader of the B.O.S -the Board of Supers. First introduced in "Eleanor Washington vs. the Board of Supers," Cassandra is in charge of all the supers in the city. She decides who is classified as a hero or a villain and arranges any confrontations between supers. The B.O.S., while funded by the government (and mostly by Brandon Baker), is a secret from the citizens of Apple Creek.


VILLAINS (In order of appearance)

-"SANDY" BURTON is the first villain we see the Knight Dragon face in "The Knight Dragon vs. the Sandstorm." This villain has the power to turn into sand, produce sand, and control the sand, dirt, and dust around him.

-THE MORTICIAN is featured in "The Knight Dragon vs. the Mortician Part 2." The Mortician, real name unknown, has the power to control corpses, waking them from the dead.

-MELANIE BOLTON is not necessarily a villain, though she makes the list due to her appearance in "The Knight Dragon vs. the Power Outage." Melanie has the power to produce and control electric currents.

-MATT WATERS is the villain seen in "The Knight Dragon vs. the Farmer." He has super strength and is one of the hardest matches for the Knight Dragon and the Speedster, so much so that Lionel and Ellie both assist.

-OLIVER TOTEM is a physics professor at Apple Creek University, though in "The Knight Dragon vs. the Invisible Man" we see him use his powers of invisibility to help him obtain pieces to a weapon.


LOCATIONS:

APPLE CREEK - The city in which these stories take place.
BAKERSFIELD - The company started and owned by the Baker family. A technological and engineering company.
THE ISLAND - The poor part of town where most villains come from.

Is your favorite minor character missing? Was a new detail added that changes a character's profile? Remind me in the comment section below and I'll continually update this page with new information! Thanks in advance for your help! 

There Is No Pain

There is no pain

Like the tears in your eyes

The lump of air in your throat

There is no pain

Like a broken bone

Being idle your only antidote

There is no pain

Like a cut in your skin

Turning cloth red with your blood

There is no pain 

Like the throb in your head

Cured only with too many drugs

There is no pain

Like a miscarriage

The heartbreak of losing your child

There is no pain

Like never meeting them

Never knowing the way that they smiled

There is no pain

Like waiting on end

For something good to come your way

There is no pain 

Like monthly tests

That only end in tearful dismay

There is no pain 

Like fighting a fight

And never knowing when you might win

There is no pain

Like doing your best

But being caught on what might have been

There is no pain

Like smiling in a crowd

Pretending your pain doesn't exist

There is no pain

Like feeling defeated

By a darkness you can't resist

There is no pain

Not physical at least

No pain anyone else can see

There is no pain

Yet everything hurts

And you think this is how it will always be.

The Knight Dragon vs. the Invisible Man | Heroes & Villains 1.10

Previous Story  |  About Heroes & Villains

Ben carried a large cardboard box in his arms, following Ellie into the warehouse connected to the ground level of the Bakersfield office tower. She flipped on the lights and glanced around as Ben set the box down on the ground.

“What are you thinking?” Ben asked, placing his hands on his hips and watching her.

“I’m thinking that there is a lot of stuff in here,” Ellie replied. “And it’ll take him a while to find what he’s looking for. I’d say that’s an advantage on our end.” Ellie turned to him grinning.  Ben nodded in agreement.

Two men walked into the warehouse, catching sight of Ben and directing their course to him. Ellie watched them as the crossed the room. One was tall and gangly, wearing large rimmed glasses. The other was of medium height and bulky, his wide blue eyes scanning all over the room. They reached Ben and Ellie and the bulky man stared down at Ellie, his eyes connecting with hers.

“Hey Ben,” The tall man said grinning.

“Dexter,” Ben nodded to him. Ben turned to Ellie. “Ellie this is my friend Dexter, he’s the White Owl.”

“Illusion shattered.” Ellie groaned. “I wanted to believe the White Owl had no secret identity.” She stuck out her lower lip in a fake pout, turning to Ben. Ben laughed.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Dexter said, eyeing Ben. “I’m sorry for breaking the truth to you.”

“You can fly,” Ellie stated looking over Dexter. Dexter nodded, causing his glasses to slide down his nose. Ellie glanced towards Ben. “Do you two go flying together sometimes?”

“It’s not like we’re dating, Ellie,” Ben replied with a grin. “And this is Dexter’s intern Seymour.” Ben gestured to the bulkier man, whose eyes had only gotten more intense while he continued staring at her.

“Superheroes have interns?” Ellie asked, feeling squeamish under Seymour’s unbroken stare.

“It’s more like I’m his mentor,” Dexter spoke up. “He just graduated high school and he’s looking to get into the superhero program so he’s following me around for a while to get some experience in.”

“Oh, so it is kind of like an intern,” Ellie said. “Do you fly too?” Ellie asked him. Seymour shook his head, his eyes lifting up to meet hers.

“No, I can see in every direction,” Seymour replied. Ellie frowned slightly. “It’s literally like I have eyes on the back of my head. And also have x-ray vision.” Ellie’s eyes widened having never heard of that power before.

“Wow,” She said slowly. “That’s…” Ellie paused, regarding the way his eyes dropped, still staring at her. She bit her lower lip and folded her arms across her chest. “That’s very cool.”

“Anyways,” Ben spoke up, stepping forward between Ellie and Seymour. “Cassandra sent them over to help. Since Dexter flies, he may have an easier time with the anti-gravity machine, and they haven’t tested Seymour’s x-ray vision on invisibility yet. There’s one more hero coming as well but he may not get here until it’s time to work.”

“What hero?” Ellie asked.

“A newer one, he doesn’t have a codename yet but his current nickname is the Lizard,” Ben replied. “Real name, Javier. He’s a good guy. Though Dexter is in charge on this mission.”

“Right,” Ellie muttered turning her full attention to Ben. “You know, you fly too. Has she changed her mind on if you’re one of the heroes helping on this case?” Ellie asked him with a frown. Ben chewed for a second on the inside of his cheek.

“She still only wants me here to supervise you.” He replied. Ellie glanced to Dexter and Seymour.

“I don’t mean offense to either of you,” She told them before turning back to Ben. “But I’m pretty sure you and Roger can handle this on your own. You’re a good team and I wouldn’t let you fail.”

“Well, Cassandra’s the head of the board, so that’s not happening,” Ben said calmly. “So, Ellie, what can we do to help set up?” Ellie sighed and glanced back towards her box.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Ellie muttered as she began pulling out her invention from the box. She handed a black square device, only slightly larger than her hand and relatively flat, to each of the men around her. “We need to put these on the ground across the room to create a grid. You can each place them against the walls, I’ll watch from my computer to make sure we have full coverage.”

The men set to work as Ellie moved to her laptop, pulling up a new program she had designed, giving her sight of where the laser grid was across the room. Ellie watched, instructing them every now and then with where to place one of the devices. It didn’t take long for Dexter to get bored and wander over to her. He stood, peering over her shoulder and watched the grid growing across the room. As Ben and Seymour continued moving, each point in the grid detected their mass and located their exact location.

“This is incredible,” Dexter said, reaching up to pull off his glasses, tapping one of the arms against his upper lip. “You really created this yourself in a couple of hours?” Ellie glanced back at him, unable to hide her smile.

“Yes.”

“Incredible,” Dexter breathed. Ellie bit her lower lip and turned back to the laptop, not wanting him to catch her blushing. Despite her preference for the Knight Dragon, the White Owl was one of the most popular heroes in the city and she couldn’t help but admire his work. He wasn’t like Ben, he could only fly and had no other abilities, yet he was clever and resourceful enough to defeat some of the city’s worst villains.

“You’re a great hero,” Ellie blurted. She winced and brought her fist up to her forehead, tapping her knuckles in frustration. “Sorry, I just mean, you’re really good at what you do.”

“That’s what happens when you’re a full-time hero.” He replied, flashing her a wide smile.

“You work as a hero full time?” Ellie frowned.

“Yeah. This way Cassandra knows I’m available anytime she needs me.” Dexter replied. “It’s similar to what the Golden Man did in his heyday and I’m sure you caught sight of his statue in the BOS.”

“How could anyone miss it?” Ellie laughed. “So you’re into being a hero for the fame?”

“Of course.” Dexter shrugged. “What else would it be for?”

“Helping people,” Ellie replied quickly.

“Yeah, that’s a part of it, I guess, but if I’m going to stick my neck out for someone I think I deserve to take the credit for it,” Dexter said. Ellie’s eyes narrowed involuntarily. “That’s why I don’t understand Ben and the Knight Dragon. He only does stuff at night, people rarely get to see what he does. Sure he does a lot and is quite popular but unless he allows people to see what he’s capable of in daylight then he’ll never get a statue.”

“Fire doesn’t glow as brightly in daylight,” Ellie muttered, typing in a few commands to get a different view of the grid on her laptop. “I don’t think Ben cares about everyone seeing what he does as the Knight Dragon, he already gets enough of that just being Benjamin Baker. And perhaps Ben doesn’t want a statue of himself.”

“How long have you known him?” Dexter scoffed. Ellie continued to stare at her computer, clenching her jaw. “Ben’s been spending his whole career trying to live up to the hero his father was. The Golden Man is like an idol to the entire city. He rid the world of the worst supervillain to ever live. Ben wants to do something just as great and get all the fame for it.” Ellie turned to glance at Ben across the room, working with Seymour on one of the devices.

“I don’t think he has to,” Ellie said. “The Knight Dragon is already just as wonderful as the Golden Man.”

“Ben will never agree with that statement.” Dexter shook his head. “Besides, he wants to be better.” Ellie continued to watch Ben, thinking back over everything they had done together in the few short months since they met. She had seen him do wonderful things, without thinking about others seeing him do it. He had helped Lionel arrest a sexual predator. He had helped save her grandpa simply because she asked. Ben couldn’t be a hero just for the fame, could he?