My 2018 New Year's Resolutions

Hello friends! It's a new year and I always get so excited, hyping up the new year and hoping it'll be better than the last. The past few years have been hard, but 2017 overall was good. I got pregnant after three years of trying and a miscarriage, and I was so blessed to have my beautiful twins, who I'm just obsessed with. Yes, I spent most the year pregnant and miserable, and the medical bills have been an adventure, but 2017 was the best year I've had in a while. So good job 2017!

Last year I made tons of goals/resolutions for the year (which I'll talk about a little later on in this post). My whole reasoning was that with tons of goals, I would at least accomplish some of them. I didn't care about getting everything done on my list... I think part of me knew I would get pregnant and most my life plans/goals would change.

This year, I'm doing the complete opposite. Because I only have one goal. So if I don't accomplish it then it'll be really sad. Now, even though it's technically one goal, it has a few parts to it, so let's go over my goal for 2018.

TO WRITE

That's it. Very simple, straightforward, not complicated at all. But honestly, it will (hopefully) be the most impactful goal of my entire life.

I have said on this blog so many times that I want to be a book author. But have you seen any books of mine yet? Nope. Because I don't write enough. I was ten when I first knew I wanted to write. TEN! I'm now twenty-seven. That's seventeen years of wasted time! Honestly, I'm sick of being upset with myself, so we're doing this!!

As I said there are a few parts to it, so let's go over that.

First is possibly the obvious one, to write my books and finish a book. I have way too many story ideas written down and I just need to finish one. And yes, I would love to get published as soon as possible, but that's not going to be my goal until I complete a book.

The second is working on Heroes & Villains as well as a few other short story ideas I'm workshopping (which is the beginning of a whole other blog I'm thinking of, but that's another story for another day). I love Heroes & Villains but I don't work on it enough because I just want my readers to be caught up to where I am. I'm skipping ahead to the end, but forgetting to work on the foundation first. I've already been working on this quite a bit and you can expect the next collection of stories to start arriving very soon.

Lastly is writing on this blog. Every year I say I'm going to write more but then I never do. But I'm really thinking this will be my year. Why? Because I'm a stay-at-home mom who now has so much more time to work on blogging! I also have a friend who's going to help out with taking photos and that maybe someday I can convince to be my assistant because she's ridiculously organized and amazing at life. She's also my BFFL so working with her is like the ultimate dream job.

So, yeah, my goal this year is to write and that's it. But I'm really happy about it. I've never loved a goal more in my life nor have I ever been more motivated to reach a goal (except maybe last year with my whole pregnancy goal).

Here's just a recap of all my goals from last year and a look at what I was able to accomplish:

MY 2018 GOALS & RESOLUTIONS
	HEALTH		SPIRITUAL		BLOGGING
Yes	-Eat healthier	Yes	-Pray daily	No	-Find my style
Yes	-Get to sleep/rise early	No	-Read the Book of Mormon	No	-Work on the Chris & Kaylee Show
No	-Workout 4x per week	No	-Visit the temple monthly	Yes	-Find my voice
No	-Run a 5k	Maybe	-Become more Christlike	Yes	-Be myself
No	-Lose fat, gain muscle	No	-Give service daily	No	-Become a #BossBabe
Yes	-Dance	No	-Have family home evening	No	-Blog at least 2x per week
	HOME LIFE		FINANCIAL	No	-Get 2 blog sponsors
No	-Cook more	No	-Pay all bills on time	Yes	-Learn how to make money blogging
Yes	-Move into an apartment	No	-Save up money for a trip	Ish	-Start vlogging
No	-Clean home daily	No	-Become financially stable	No	-Take video editing course
No	-Craft more		FUN	No	-Be more active on social media
No	-Sew four projects	No	-Find 1 new city event a month	Yes	-Work on photography skills
No	-Grow a plant	No	-Explore everywhere		WRITING
	PERSONAL	No	-Visit museums	No	-Weekly writing prompts
Yes	-Think positively	No	-Sing more	Yes	-Find my voice
Yes	-Be a warrior	Yes	-Dance more	No	-Learn more
Yes	-Be a better wife	No	-Plan a trip	No	-Go to a writing conference
Yes	-Love more			No	-Take a writing course
Yes	-Work with passion			No	-Publish a short story on Amazon
Yes	-Find my voice			Yes	-Write 30 minutes a day
No	-Tell my story			No	-Read more
Yes	-Be myself
Yes	-Become pregnant/learn what my body needs to have a baby

So yeah... didn't do great. But as I mentioned, getting pregnant changed a lot of things. Especially when I found out it was twins. Small tangent here, I had every intention to keep working after having my baby until I learned it was twins. Because affording any sort of childcare for twins would be impossible. Though affording to live on one income is difficult as well, but we are picking our battles here.

Of course, just because I didn't reach those goals last year doesn't mean I'm completely giving up on them. Some of them are lifelong goals so I'll be continuing on with them in mind.

Last note, I always pick a theme song for the year and this year was just super difficult because there are so many that I thought of. So I made a whole playlist of them which you can listen to below. Basically, this year is about getting work done (which is ironic since I'm technically unemployed) and these are all songs that motivate me. But I did end up choosing one main one and you can read about it HERE.

Well, I think that's it for this post. Let me know your goals for the new year in the comment section below! Thanks, you're a hero! 

2018 Theme Song

Hello my lovely friends! I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season and are as excited for the New Year as I am.

Today I am supposed to talk about my theme song for 2018. As you may know, every year I pick out a theme song for the year. I've been doing this since I graduated high school and it's something that means a lot to me because music is such an important and special influence in my life.

Usually, I have thought about my song choice extensively for months and have the song picked out by November (because the past few years everytime November hits I'm ready for the New Year). This year was the hardest to pick out a song. In fact, I'm not even 100% behind my song choice. I blame the past few months of learning to be a mom and to be unemployed. My life is SO different than it's ever been and I think it's hard to adjust to that. My usual habits and tendencies are hard to go back to considering I'm suddenly a stay-at-home mom of two.

While I did end up choosing a specific song for 2018, I made an entire playlist of songs to help motivate me through the year. I'll go over it below and my reasoning behind them.

Overall, I wanted a song that would motivate me to do something outside my normal comfort zone. If you aren't a regular blog reader of mine, I have depression and social anxiety and can be an all over emotional wreck a lot of the time. I tend to stay in my private little box, too afraid to take risks and go after my dreams for fear of failing. This year I want to get outside that box and change my life.

A few weeks ago I finally was inspired by a song that came on over my Spotify. As I mentioned, I'm not completely obsessed with my theme song as I usually am, but that's why I have a whole playlist.

Anyways, my theme song for 2018 is "I Lived" by One Republic. 

There are so many lyrics in this song that just speak to me, so it's difficult to go over which ones I want for 2018 without quoting the whole song. But I think more than anything, I love the actual title of the song. I LIVED.

When I was seventeen years old I was suicidal and made a few attempts at ending my life. I had no idea as a teenager that my life would end up like this: married to my soulmate with a cute dog and the most adorable baby girls. I don't believe seventeen-year-olds make the smartest decision, but by far the greatest decision of my entire life was to not end it.

I survived my teenage years. I survived college and the struggles I went through there. I survived cutting myself, sexual assault, and a miscarriage and have ended up today in the best place I think my life has ever been in. I survived so much pain and I hope to continue to fight through every struggle that is thrown at me.

However, no matter how grateful I am for my life so far, I feel as if I've merely been surviving each day. I want to live each day. I want to wake up every morning with an excitement for each day and the possibilities it could bring. I want to end this year quoting the song: "I owned every second that this world could give."

I want to plan adventures for not just myself, but for my husband and my daughters. I want us to make memories to last a lifetime. But I think more than anything, I want to build an excitement for life in my daughters that I never had. I know they're young, they won't remember this year, but I want to get into the habit of giving my children opportunities and excitement.

2018 is about living life to the fullest and I'm excited for this year and creating the best year ever.

Now real fast I'm going to go over my playlist. I subtitled this as my "Power Playlist" because it's all songs that motivate me to get up and do something. These are great workout song, hype songs, and dancing song. This playlist is great for so many things and I am already so obsessed with listening to it all the time. I'm sure I'll continue to add new songs throughout the year because this is my "Power Playlist" and if I find a new song that empowers me, it belongs.

Quick note, the first part is all females because originally that's what I wanted: female empowerment. But honestly, no power playlist is complete without "Butterflies and Hurricanes" by Muse, so I broke the original rules, but I'm so happy with this playlist I wouldn't have it any other way.

Do you pick out a theme song for the year? Let me know yours in the comments below!! 

2017 Goals & Resolutions

Hello friends! It's 2017. A new year. A new opportunity. Anything could happen. Time for new goals.

Back in November (because I was completely ready for a new year back then) I wrote down over two pages in my notebook of the goals I had for the new year. A lot of them will not make sense to you, but they mean something to me personally.

And while the majority of you already have your list, if you need a bit more inspiration, here's my lengthy list of goals and resolutions for 2017 by category.

HEALTH

-Eat healthier
-Get to sleep/rise early
-Workout 4x per week
-Run a 5k
-Lose fat, gain muscle
-Dance

HOME LIFE

-Cook more
-Move into an apartment
-Clean home daily
-Craft more
-Sew four projects
-Grow a plant

BLOGGING

-Find my style
-Work on the Chris & Kaylee Show
-Find my voice
-Be myself
-Become a #BossBabe
-Blog at least 2x per week
-Get 2 blog sponsors
-Learn how to make money blogging
-Start vlogging
-Take video editing course
-Be more active on social media
-Work on photography skills

SPIRITUAL

-Pray daily
-Read the Book of Mormon
-Visit the temple monthly
-Become more Christlike
-Give service daily
-Have family home evening

WRITING

-Weekly writing prompts
-Find my voice (again)
-Learn more
-Go to a writing conference
-Take a writing course
-Publish a short story on Amazon
-Write 30 minutes a day
-Read more

FINANCIAL

-Pay all bills on time
-Save up money for a trip
-Become financially stable

FUN

-Find 1 new city event a month
-Explore everywhere
-Visit museums
-Sing more
-Dance more
-Plan a trip

PERSONAL

-Think positively
-Be a warrior
-Become pregnant/learn what my body needs to have a baby
-Be a better wife
-Love more
-Work with passion
-Find my voice (third time)
-Tell my story
-Be myself


Now I'm well aware that having this many goals makes it more difficult to acheive them all. So the main goal is to follow my theme song of the year, "The Weight of Living: Part II" by Bastille, which asks this question: "DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON YOU'VE BECOME?" And if the answer is ever no, then it's time to stop what I'm doing and make a change.

These are all goals to help me become the person I want to be, the person I know I'm capable of becoming. I've gotten lost so many times along the way, but I know I'm capable of so much more. I know it's a lot, but if I can even just acheive half of them, then I'll be changing myself for the better.

If you're still reading this, I want you to know that I will have one monthly specific goal for myself as well as challenging my readers to do as well. For this month my goal, that I challenge you to do too, is to find 5 quotes that speak to you. Whether they are song lyrics, scripture verses, or spoken by a parent or friend, it doesn't matter. Anything that's important to you is elligable.

My first quote was included in my Theme Song post, the quote above is my second, but I still have three more to find. Pinterest is where I find mine, but go searching the internet for what speaks to you.

At the end of the month I will do a whole post on all 5 quotes that I picked out and in the comment section of that post we can discuss all our quotes and why they specifically speak to us. I want this blog to be more of a community, and that what these monthly goals are for.

Good luck with all your goals and resolutions this year! Hopefully you don't have as many as me...

______________________________________________________

What are some of your goals? Let me know in the comments below!  

Theme Song 2017

Hello my friends! I've gotten quite a few new followers over the last year, so to all my new internet friends... hello! My name is Kaylee Farnes, and every year I pick a "theme song" to help guide me through the year. I started doing it back when I first started college and it's been the one thing that stuck... because resolutions always fail.

For 2016 my theme song was "Tomorrow Never Comes" by the Zac Brown Band. I'd say it was a fairly influential theme song for me. I took a risk and started my writing career with Heroes & Villains. I have talked about becoming a writer the majority of my life, but I finally did something about it this year, and I'm really happy about it.

I like to think the song worked in helping me begin my writing career. SUCCESS!!

This year's song is incredibly different and perhaps controversial because at first glance it should not be an inspiring song, however, over the past few months a single phrase from this song keeps running through my head over and over again.

I wanted this as my theme song but I kept talking myself out of it because it's not a positive song... not necessarily. But the other day I found this amazing quote that totally fits with the song and it secured the song as my theme song for 2017!

"For what it's worth, it's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over." 

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Beautiful quote by a wonderful author. 

My theme song of the year is "The Weight of Living II" by Bastille. I'm in love with this song. It was featured in my playlist of songs that describe who I am in 2016 and the lyrics honestly describe and speak to me in such an important way. 

"Do you like the person you've become?"

I have spent the majority of 2016 in a deep depression. At the end of 2015, I lost my child and I have been unable to get pregnant this year. I've spent the entire year holding back in doing the things I wanted because I never knew if I was pregnant, and once a month I would cry for basically an entire day when I learned I wasn't. Beyond that, my sister-in-law lost her child Jamison and the Farnes family has been struggling. 2016 was without a doubt the worst year of my life (and in 2008 I was suicidal so that's really saying something) and I am so insanely happy that it's over.

Now I realize that just because it's a new year doesn't mean that things will magically get better. But there comes a point where you lose all hope in a year. I lost all hope for 2016, but not for 2017. I can find excitement in 2017, where for the past few months there was no excitement to be found.

The potential doesn't come from a new year coming, it comes from me. If I put in the work, I can make 2017 a good year.

Let's go back to the song. For a long time I could not get the phrase "Do you like the person you've become?" out of my head. It haunted me. Because for the majority of 2016, my answer would be no. But if you combine the quote and the song, it describes my feelings for 2017.

"Do you like the person you've become?"

 "I hope you find the strength to start over."

Despite the dislike for myself this year, I have never given up on myself. I still believe I have potential. If I want to be a writer, I can be. I've already started on that journey. If I want to be a fashion blogger, I can be. Just because I never have money doesn't mean I can't find creative ways to do it. If I want to make YouTube videos, I can do it. Even if they don't start out very good, the more practice I get, the better they'll become.

A lot of the lyrics of this song speak to me. I could talk for a long time about the lyrics (it comes with spending the majority of my college career writing essays analyzing writing) but the only line that matters is the one I've said before.

Every time I think of that phrase, I answer the question, and if my answer is no, then it's time to make a difference.

"It's never too late to be whoever you want to be."

💗

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Do you pick out a theme song for each year? Let me know your song or your goals for 2017 in the comments below! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 

Songs About Me 2016

Hello friends. This is going to be a slightly depressing post, just giving you a heads up. Okay, great, enjoy!

For the past month, I'm just done with 2016. This has by far been the worst year of my life and I just want it to end. Yes, my miscarriage happened in 2015, and that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me, but the aftermath of that miscarriage took over the majority of 2016. I am so over 2016. Just be done already!!

Anyways....

A few weeks ago I made a giant list of all my goals and resolutions for 2017 because I'm ready for a new year and a fresh start. (Oh my gosh, just be 2017 already!!!!) I will most likely share all those goals when 2017 gets closer and I've weeded through them and have the specific New Years Resolutions to share (I currently have two pages of goals so they can't all be New Year's Resolutions).

But to finish up this year (because I'm so willing to skip to the end, yes, that includes skipping over Christmas, just let 2016 end, please, please please, I am begging) I made a playlist of 10 songs that describe my 2016!

I want this to be an annual thing. For me to make playlists of songs that have influenced and/or describe the way my year went. Therefore, since I'm quoting this as the worst year of my life, you can bet they are not all happy songs for this year.

I have reasons for each song so I want to go over why each one was chosen. These were all chosen very carefully and I want to share my reasoning with you. So just press play on the Spotify playlist below, enjoy some amazing songs and read about each one.

I'll go in order of the playlist, even though it's a weird, not very thought out order. Okay? Great.

Unsteady - X Ambassadors

I'm a huge fan of this song. My mom thinks it's too repetitive, my husband doesn't like his voice, but I'm obsessed. I could not have made it through this year with the amazing people (and pet) I have in my life. But besides Zoram, my biggest rock through this year was Chris. I was "unsteady" in so many ways this year, but Chris helped me stand up tall and make it through. I needed him and I love his support more than he may ever understand. I love my soulmate.

Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya

This song isn't depressing! Lately, girl-power type songs are my favorite. I have a ton on my phone that I just listen to randomly when I need to be uplifted and find a little confidence. While this is definitely a newer addition to my girl-power list, there's just a few of the lyrics that always stick out to me when I hear this song on the radio.

"Oh, I don't know what you've been told but this gal right here's gonna rule the world"

 I don't want to be what people want me to be. I have goals for myself and I'm going to make them happen. I am going to be a book author. Heroes & Villains is going to prove that I'm a writer and I truly believe that it can be big (considering it will never end). I will find the success and happiness I want without working in a job people want or expect me to. I believe that I can rule my own world and I'm not going to let someone tell me how to do it.

Stressed Out - Twenty-One Pilots

Oh goodness, the words in this song speak to me.

"Used to dream of outer space but now they're laughing in our face saying 'Wake up you need to make money.'"

I'm probably contradicting myself, but while I want to be a writer, this year was so overwhelming feeling like I couldn't do it because I needed to work a real job. Being a grown up sucks. And being a child and not having to deal with all the stress just sounds so appealing, but impossible to attain again. I was constantly stressed this year. This song was my life this year... stressed out.

The Weight Of Living II - Bastille

Oh, Bastille. How I love you so very, very, truly, totally, absolutely, wholly, and completely. I have been obsessing over this album this year and listen to it constantly. I love every track on the album and have learned almost all the words. But lately the words to this song have stuck out to me a lot:

"Do you like the person you've become?"

 Short and sweet, this question has echoed in my mind for a while now. I have asked myself this question quite a bit lately and when I begin to think my answer is "no" I think of ways to change myself and change my answer. I'm greatly considering making this my theme song of 2017, so I might get back to this at a later date...

All Will Be Well - Gabe Dixon

(Every time I listen to this song I ask Chris "Bonus points if you can name what show this is on!" He always forgets. But they answer is Parks & Recreation when Andy and April are driving to the Grand Canyon. Now you know and can get bonus points.)

I think about the title of this song a lot. "All will be well." The lyrics to this song are absolutely incredible because it's not saying that life if perfect and everything will always be amazing all the time. It's saying that times can be hard, people make mistakes, you have to work to find what you want in life, and you don't know how you'll get there, but you have to just believe that over time things will turn out for the best.

I have an obsession with this song and could probably pull out my English major skills and write a whole essay on it. I think anyone who is like me and suffers from depression should listen to this song and really think through the words. All will be well.

Don't Panic - Coldplay

Similar to "All will be well" the phrase "We live in a beautiful world" has crossed my mind a lot throughout this year. Despite how much I just raved about Bastille, Coldplay is, in all reality, my favorite band. They have music and lyrics that speak to me in a way no other artist has been able to do.

This song is short and sweet and every time I'm outside, looking at the world I live in, I think the worlds "We live in a beautiful world." It's comforting to me in a way that I'm not sure I can explain. Perhaps it's that despite all the horribleness of this year, I've seen some pretty amazing and beautiful things and it's humbling to be surrounded by such beauty.

Tomorrow Never Comes - Zac Brown Band

Hey, it's my theme song for the year! That's right, I never forgot about it through the year. I still think about and listen to this song a lot. Its message is very strong and clear. We don't know what's going to come, so we have to live now. I'm not going to go into much more depth on this. You can read why I picked it as my theme song by CLICKING HERE.

Butterflies and Hurricanes - Muse

This was my theme song for 2015! Can we talk about how incredible Muse is? And how I never noticed just how incredible until this year? I am loving Muse so much. Okay, great discussion, thanks.

You can read why I picked it as my 2015 theme song by CLICKING HERE, but I do have a few things to say as well.

First of all, the title. No two words describe my year better. Butterflies, like butterflies in my stomach. Nervousness, anxiousness, and a jittery uneasiness has plagued this entire year. And hurricanes, a destructive force in a wave crashing over my life. I'm a little dramatic sometimes. It comes with being a writer (and it being the middle of the night and not having gotten a good night's sleep in over a week).

So yes, the title alone describe my year wonderfully, but we cannot ever forget the words to this song. It's so empowering to me. If I ever need a pick me up, I listen to this song.

 "You've got to change the world and use this chance to be heard." 

Ah! Love those words so very much. I have done my best to use my depression, anxiety, and miscarriage to help others. Recently I was able to speak with someone who helped me realize that the things I say on here really do help some people. While these are the things that are hardest to talk about, they need to be heard. We can't pretend they don't exist. And it's my chance to be heard, and change the world.

Warrior - Demi Lovato

I have talked about this song a lot on this blog. Too many times to know where to look for links. This is the song that got me through this year. This is the song that gets me through my depression. This is the song that gives me strength to keep going when I feel like giving up.

After my miscarriage, and even sometimes before, I wrote the word "Warrior" on my wrist so I could look down at it and feel stronger. It sat above my scars and kept me from cutting or injuring myself again. It helped protect me when I felt my weakest. This song, this word, has helped save me countless times.

For my 26th birthday this year I got the word officially tattooed on my wrist. I want to write up a full post on it because there is some controversy in my decision, given my religious beliefs, but just know, that this was not impulsive, it was fully thought through, and I believe it was one of the best decisions I've made for myself in a long time.

We All Need Saving - Jon McLaughlin

Ah, my love, Jon McLaughlin. Random tangent, I saw him in concert last Friday and it was just him and his piano and no band and... oh my gosh... I love him so much. I'm sorry Chris. It's a different sort of love, I promise. You're still my soulmate and one true love, Chris.

I think that this song is incredibly important and has been for many years. Because living with depression feels like you're alone. Going through my miscarriage, I was certain no one understood what I was going through and what I was feeling. That's not true, though.

"I don't know why it has to be this way and I don't know the cure, but please believe that someone else has felt this before."

 This sentence has meant different things to me at different times. While my religious beliefs have waivered a lot this year, I have never once doubted in the reality and healing power of The Atonement. We are never alone and we are not the only ones who have felt the way we do. "We all need saving" and we can't be afraid to ask for help when we need it.

No matter what you're feeling, you are not alone and you can ask for help from a friend, family member, God, and always me. Because I believe no one should hide their pain, and when you're hurting, you have to find the courage to ask for help.

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Well, that was nice, it ended up a lot less depressing than I thought it would be. We also got a lot of different genres, so that was fun. 

Thanks for bearing with me through this post and the random and completely unedited photos. I promise I will post more about my tattoo soon because I have a lot to say about it. 

Let me know in the comments below what songs describe your year! And please tell me I'm not the only one anxiously waiting for this year to end... Thanks, love you, bye.

This weirdness of this post was brought to you by exhaustion. Get some sleep and don't let it happen to you!

2016 Theme Songs

Last year I posted about my 2015 Theme Song. Now I've always thought of a theme song for the year, but last year was the first time I posted it on my blog. But I truly loved it and I think you did too (that probably a lie) so I'm sharing it with you again.

This year I have two, but one is for me and the other is specifically for this blog. So here they are, my 2016 theme songs!

Let's start with the one specifically for this blog.

CHANGE BY CARRIE UNDERWOOD

I believe I mentioned that I am bringing back Charity of the Month in 2016. This has always been something I wanted but it's hard because being completely broke myself I don't feel like I'm doing anything.

Starting this year it's going to be a little different though. I will have one main charity featured a month that will be highlighted on the side of my blog. However, the last time I did Charity of the Month I actually got emails asking if their charity could be featured, so I'm going to have an ongoing list of charities that you suggest and care about. And if you do have a charity, you are more than welcome to contact me about writing a guest post on my blog all about your charity.

I know that my personal income can't make much of a difference, but if we all group together I truly believe we can make a change for the better. That is why Carrie Underwood's brilliant song is the theme song for The Dancing Cow this year as we make Charity of the Month stronger.


TOMORROW NEVER COMES BY ZAC BROWN BAND

About two months ago I had my miscarriage and when I went back to work it was... just the worst. That first week I came back I would often leave my desk to cry in the bathroom or simply just cry at my desk. I was a wreck. So one of those days I began to cry, thinking about the baby I had lost, and this song came on. I don't know how or why but I immediately stopped crying and really listened to it, taking in the words.

This is my personal theme song for this year. Things happen that can make or break us, but as long as we live each day to the fullest then we'll be able to make it through. This year is about getting things done. No more procrastinating, no more laziness, no more waiting for the right time, NOW is the right time.

I'm not going to put things off anymore. I can be happy now and I need to stop waiting for it to happen. I made a goal years ago that I would do things that make me happy, but I keep putting things off because it doesn't feel like the right time. "I'M GONNA LIVE MY LIFE LIKE TOMORROW NEVER COMES" I can be happy, I can be successful, I can be who I want to be right now and I need to stop putting it off.

Last year was so hard for me. Depression hit me hard all year long and then my miscarriage nearly killed me. But I have high hopes for this year. When we are at our lowest, there's no place left but up. This year is going to be amazing for both me and my blog and I hope you stick around to see it all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Where Am I?!?

Hello my friends. This blog title is probably what you're all thinking. I got back from Jackson Hole and started all these crafts for Pinterest Projects and got a planner to start organizing posts better, and then I got lazy again.

It's been a weird week for me. Last week flew by way too quickly and I felt like I was constantly go, go, go, and I couldn't breathe, so I spent my weekend doing nothing but watching Glee in my pajamas on my couch. And then the new week started and life got crazy again.

I wanted to say that I really appreciated the responses from my recent survey. You guys gave me some great ideas and things to think about and I'm already working on changing up posts for this blog, even if you won't see it for a while.

This month marks the 3 year "blogiversary" for The Dancing Cow. This is the first year it has it's own URL and the name is different than when it started, but I'm still not where I thought I would be by now. I thought for sure I would have hundreds of followers, but that's been proven wrong. It doesn't help that basically for the last year my blogging has been incredibly sparse. How can I get followers if I don't even post anything? Truth is I can't.

So this year is going to be different and it may not seem like it for a while, but it'll get there. Does anyone remember my theme song for the year? It is Butterflies and Hurricanes by Muse. I want to bring up one line from the song that has been on my mind a lot lately:

"Best, you've got to be the best, you've got to change the world, and use this chance to be heard. Your time is now." 

I've spent a lifetime feeling invisible. But the truth is that I'm not. I have ideas, I have potential, I have passion. I started this blog to bring awareness to different charities in an attempt to help the world become I better place. I started this blog as a place to express my feelings and thoughts that no one else would listen to. I started this blog to make friends.

My follower numbers may be small, but I have the best internet friends in the world who I can always count on to love and support me when I need them. This is my chance to be heard. This is my time.

As a result, this new blog year is bringing back Charity of the Month to help us all remember to give back a little. I'm going to be showing more of my biggest passion, writing, with a special story that will be coming up soon. I'm going to bring back my Book Club, but in a different way. I'll continue doing Fashion Friday and Happy Tuesday posts and bring you more YouTube videos. These are all promises to you. It's going to happen. This is my time.

So for the last year, maybe even more, you've been asking yourself, "Where is Kaylee? Why does she never blog anymore? Why doesn't she like us anymore?"  Well I'm here to tell you that I'm back, I'm ready, and I'm never giving up on this blog. This is my chance to be heard.

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NOTE: For my upcoming writing project I want illustrations to go along with my stories. So if you're an artist who would like to help me out, please message me on my Facebook page. If you help me out I'd help promote your social media and/or blog in exchange. Thanks in advance!

My 2015 Theme Song

In high school I always picked a "theme song" for the year. A song that helped inspire me throughout the year. For example, the year I graduated high school and moved away for college, my theme song was "I Have Confidence" from The Sound of Music, because I wanted to build more confidence in myself. And honestly, it worked. My confidence level between high school and college went significantly up.

I haven't picked a theme song for a couple years, but while at work I heard a song that literally blew my mind. It's the coolest song in the world and it is the perfect theme song for my year. Prepare your speakers to just blast this song in your face, because it's the greatest song to blast out loud. Love it!!

Butterflies and Hurricanes by Muse

I've never really listened to Muse until recently, but they are pretty much amazing. Seriously though, why have I never listened to Muse before??? I'm so glad my husband recommended them, because they blow my mind.

Here is why this is my theme song. Besides being a very powerful song, it has wonderful lyrics that perfectly describe what I want to accomplish this year.

"Change everything you are and everything you were" 

This quote is not part of my yearly theme in it's entirety.  But as I shared yesterday, one of my New Years Resolutions is to "become the person I want to be". Which obviously involves change. I don't plan on changing everything I am and everything I was, but I want to change what I do, what I stand for, and what I work towards.

"Best, you've got to be the best, you've got to change the world, and use this chance to be heard. Your time is now."

I want to be the best person I can be. I want to serve others, I want to make a difference by sharing my experiences, my stories, and my life with others. I want to blog, to make videos, to share myself. I want to be heard. I want people to listen or read to what I have to say. I want to be the best that I have ever been. And I do believe that this is my year. 

"Don't let yourself down. Don't let yourself go. Your last chance has arrived."

Too many time have I sabotaged myself. I have always been my own worst enemy, telling myself I'm not good enough, that I can't do something, letting myself down continually until I'm broken. This is the year I stop sabotaging myself, I stop letting my depression control me. I'm so much better than that! I can do things, I can accomplish things if I would just give myself a chance! It may not be my last chance, but it another chance to do something and make myself the person I want to be.  

See? Isn't this song perfect? 

I am so excited for this year. I'm going to make a change in both myself and work towards changing the world. Things are going to be different. So be prepared because by the end of this year, I will not be the same. I will be unstoppable. 

BLOG THEME SONG!

I am happy to say that I've found this blog's theme song!!! I now present to you Party Til The Cows Come Home by Rachele Lynae.

Awesome, right? Also, does anyone else watch Psych? If not, you should, and if you do, doesn't this girl look like Abigail? I liked her.

--Kaylee