Sunday, April 10, 2016

Sunday Scrapbook/Journal

Hello friends! So a while ago I started Sunday Scrapbook on my blog and literally did one post and it ended, because that's how good I am at blogging. But today I'm bringing it back, however there aren't going to be pictures, so it's really just a journal. I just have a lot of thoughts to get out.

So it is currently Saturday afternoon as I am writing this post, and I am sitting in bed like I have been for the past 48 hours. And yes, I am the laziest person you'll ever meet, but no this isn't out of laziness.

Monday night is when this all began. I got out of the shower and I was freezing. Literally shivering, teeth chattering, beyond freezing, and no matter what I did I couldn't get myself warm. Chris bundled me up in blankets and I went to bed early that night and he had felt my forehead and was pretty sure I had a fever.

So Tuesday through Thursday this same sort of thing kept happening throughout the day. I also seemed to have some weird stomach thing and had a difficult time eating non-bland foods, and even then it was difficult to keep food in. Not to mention a few migraines. But, despite being absolutely miserable I still went to work everyday because of my work's insane sick-leave policy.

But then Thursday night came and I was waking up and running to the bathroom every hour, nearly passing out every time I got up due to lack of food, and sweating uncontrollably from a ridiculously high fever. It was a terrible night and I woke up not feeling any better so Chris called into my work and said I wouldn't be coming in. Because despite the chance of getting in trouble for missing, they cannot expect me to work when I have a fever and am running to the bathroom every hour.

All of Friday was sitting in bed and running to the bathroom. It was gross, I've never felt more disgusting in my life. That night I took a shower, but the hot water and my lack of food almost made me pass out again.

Last night I slept a little better, but I was still burning up and freezing at the same time, sweating, and had to frequent the bathroom. (Which no longer makes sense to me. How is there anything left in me? I've already lost three pounds from this!)

Currently, I'm still having issues. I don't think I have a fever at the moment, but sitting up to write this is hurting my stomach. If I'm laying down I'm fine, so I'm just trying to get through this quickly.

Random note, bravo to my little Zoram. Our puppy is still having issues with training so he thinks that outside is for walking, running around, but not for playing with us. He thinks playtime should be done whenever Chris and I are trying to relax inside. So I have not been able to keep him around me much during my at-home imprisonment. I can't deal with my illness while fighting off a clawing, biting puppy. He's just chilling in the kitchen. Chris does come home and take him out, makes sure he gets playtime in, but we live in an apartment and due to several incidents he cannot go outside without his leash so I can't take him out in my current condition. I am checking on him, making sure he has food and water, but he's been super well behaved being alone in the kitchen the past two days. Bravo Zoram, my little cutie.

I'm pretty sure I should be seeing a doctor though considering how long this all has lasted. I don't think I've ever had an illness like this last so long and make me feel so terrible. Currently, my stomach is just aching, and I'm nibbling on Saltines and they aren't helping at all. So maybe, hopefully, I'll be seeing a doctor soon and this will get resolved quickly.

I'm very upset became tonight (again, this is being written on Saturday) is a Real Salt Lake game and we have tickets... but I can't go. With the complete lack of food in my body, still having stomach issues, and a fever that keeps coming back, going to a soccer game tonight sounds like a terrible idea. But I LOVE Real games and I'm really mad about this.

So you know how your emotions can effect your body and well-being? Well there's a part of me that keeps thinking that my fear of this week (the week my miscarried baby was due) is what made me sick. But that's way too powerful! I mean, I can't even take time to think about my lost child when I feel like this. I feel like absolute crap. I feel like I would rather take on the emotional pain than this, because this is freaking ridiculous. So if that's what happening I just want it all to stop. It would have been a bad week whether or not I got sick, but it made it 10 times worse by getting sick.

As for my post yesterday, I wrote that a few weeks ago when I was going through a rough patch. The last time I read it was actually a week ago and I don't feel like I can read it now. I miss my baby and I really wish I was pregnant again or that I had a baby now, even though I'm even more scared now than I was before. You never know what can happen with pregnancy, and even with young babies, and that stupid misfortunate miscarriage scarred me for life and I'm terrified of what might happen.

Also, because today was my due date I really wanted to do something special with Chris. Something fun to take our minds off of it. Lying in bed watching Friends on Netflix with Saltines and water is not at all what I had in mind and I'm super annoyed that this is what I'm stuck with. (Though I'm so in love with Friends, greatest show ever.)

This post is longer than I expected, and probably really boring since there are no pictures to go with it. Blog posts without pictures are just the worst! (I'm so guilty of doing that all the time though.) But if you've made it this far, congrats! You're a real member of the Dancing Cow Herd.

This was basically just storytelling about my week, journaling to be exact. So someday when I'm old I'll look back and find it just so fascinating that I was sick for a week once and never visited a doctor... or purchased an actual thermometer to measure my fever. But I can promise you my fever was rather high Thursday night. Sometimes you just know.

Well that's all for today, that's the rather boring journal of my week. Please leave a comment below about your favorite thing this week. My favorite was probably chatting with my friend Tony at work, he knew about my fever and migraine and kept making jokes and making me laugh, so bravo Tony.

I love you all and I hope to start consistently blogging again soon, but if I don't, check out my YouTube channel, because I have a couple pre-filmed videos that will be going up. Love you!

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