Hello friends! Today I am talking about a very serious topic... pregnancy. Now it has officially been over six months since my miscarriage and over this six months I've gotten a couple questions:
Are you and Chris going to start trying for a baby again?
Do you think you'll want to get pregnant again soon?
How is trying to get pregnant again?
And possibly a couple more. And while I realize a lot of the people asking these types of questions have the best of intentions, this needs to stop. Because my emotional, depressed, distorted mind takes these questions and warps them into guilt and personal self-loathing:
Are Chris and I just not trying hard enough?
Do I really want to risk getting pregnant and going through another miscarriage?
Are people seriously asking me about my sex life? That's so weird!
I believe that even the people with the best of intentions will never fully understand my personal story. And while this post is meant to clear up a few of the questions and tell my story, it is in no way an invitation to ask me further questions. These questions are quite frankly offensive and often cause me to break out in tears. So please, read on, and keep your questions to yourself.
(That sounds so mean. I really do love you, I just can't handle more crying. It's far too frequent.)
Hello friends! If you saw my last post you know that I've set some new goals for myself and one of them is to be healthier. Today is a Monday so what better day to start making a change for the better.
I would love for all of you to join me on my health/weight loss journey. Keep in mind, one of my main goals is to get pregnant again so weight loss, at least the goal weight I'm wanting, may not happen for a while if I get pregnant again.
For this go around I am planning on eating healthier and eating a good amount of calories each day. I will be going to the gym every night after work, starting with slow simple exercises at first and moving from there. There isn't a set plan to what I'll be doing on a daily basis but I would love for you to join me anyways in reaching your goals.
To help me achieve my goals I have two apps that I am using. For my birthday Chris gave me the Fitbit Charge HR
. I have been loving it so far! I am using the Fitbit app to track my steps, sleep, and an estimated calories burnt for the day. Because I do not like how Fitbit tracks their food diary, I am also using My Fitness Pal. I absolutely love this app for tracking what I eat. What's especially nice is that these apps can be linked together, so in using My Fitness Pal, it will automatically subtract calories burnt from my Fitbit. It's genius and I love the way they can work together like that.
It is always easier to lose weight when you have friends helping you out. I will be tweeting about my experiences and you can check those out by following me on Twitter @cowgirl_kaylee. You can also friend me on My Fitness Pal and see my progress on there. My username is CowgirlKayls. You can find me on the Fitbit app as well, however I will not accept challenges from people I don't know (at least not at this time, maybe we can do a challenge all together someday though).
I've been through a lot recently and am still going through a difficult time but I'm committed to changing myself for the better. I've already been working on a change spiritually (more on that later), and I feel it's time I started working on the change physically. I love who I am and I'm continually working on growing a better self-image, and I truly believe this journey will help me to become the person I want to be and only make me love myself more.
I love you all and hope to hear about your weight loss or getting healthy experiences as well. And in case you didn't know... I have red hair now. :)
Have you ever met someone and you just click? That's how I feel about Hayley over at "Me, You, and Hayley Larue". (Which is a bold thing to say because I'm not sure if she feels the same way.) She left a comment on my blog so I headed straight over to hers. Not only is her blog beautiful, but she's a great writer, an incredible dancer, and she has a very enchanting blog! Also we both have an uncle that works at Disneyland, we both dance, and our birthdays are one year, one month, and one day apart. I just absolutely love her blog and all her beautiful pictures and quotes. She's amazing and I love finding new friends through blogging!!
As I'm trying to figure out exactly what it is I want to do with my life, I realize that I need to gain my more positive attitude and just be happier! So I found the 100 Happy Days Challenge and knew I had to do it. With the stress of school and moving to a new state, I felt now was the best time! My 100 days ends in the middle of June and hopefully by then I will have gained a more positive outlook on life. If you haven't already, I urge you to take the challenge as well and spend the next 100 days finding what makes you happy in your life. Follow me on Instagram to see all my #100happydays posts!
FAVORITE WEB VIDEO: Bitman Begins
Do you remember that Youtube video "Charlie Bit My Finger"? Well this is the celebrity version from Jimmy Kimmel, and I absolutely love it! They really should get the Hemsworth brothers together for a movie. That would be entertaining to watch...
FAVORITE SNACK: Brookside Dark Chocolate Goji and Raspberry Flavors
This little treat is beyond delicious! Not only that but it's not incredibly unhealthy either! Well it is if you eat as many as I do, but I don't feel quite as guilty eating this as I do with other chocolaty treats. They have different flavors like blueberry and pomegranate but I like the raspberry best.
FAVORITE SONG: Say Something
This is quite honestly the most beautiful song ever. I'm so incredibly in love with it, especially this version of it. In case you didn't know, I want to someday be an author and as I'm working on my book this song and this version just keeps playing in my head. I'm so in love with it!
FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: How I Met Your Mother
Every now and then Chris and I re-watch our favorite shows on Netflix. This month we went through How I Met Your Mother again. It's a special show for us because when we were first dating it helped us connect together as we watched it together for the first time. I love this show... but I am so insanely disappointed in the current season. It's such a let-down and the worst final season ever. But I was so happy to finally see Barney and Robin get married and I'm super excited for Ted to meet the mother!!!
FAVORITE MOVIE: While You Were Sleeping
I didn't go out and see any movies this month and we actually didn't watch very many at all, but I did introduce my husband to While You Were Sleeping
so I'm counting it as my favorite this month. It's an older one but Sandra Bullock is super cute in it (and basically all the time, she's a favorite of mine) and it's just a cute and funny movie. So if you haven't seen it already, you should check it out!
FAVORITE APP: QuizUp
My husband and I are so in love with this app and we just quiz each other all the time! It's so fun being in this never-ending competition with him to see who knows our favorite things best! If you don't already have it, you should definitely download this app because it's super fun and you can play against me!!!
Compared to my other "What I've Learned from ___ Months of Marriage" posts, this one wasn't that exciting to me. It was short and thrown together at the last minute. But I'm glad people like it. It makes me happy that my marriage is exciting to other people. My one year anniversary is in May and I have some big marriage posts planned for that month, so don't forget to follow my blog so you won't miss out on any of them!
Also this month, for some strange reason, you guys keep looking at my One Month Till My Wedding post, which is kind of funny to me. Next month is one month to my one year anniversary, so maybe that's why.
This Monthly Favorites post is a bit shorter than others, but it was a very interest month for me. Drop by my blog tomorrow to see my Monthly Review of March!
Today is my fall break. Yep, just today. It's so dumb that we only get one day off. More dumb that they had our Friday classes on Thursday this week to make up for missing Monday classes on Labor Day. It messes me up. I kept thinking yesterday was Friday, but it obviously wasn't so I still have work today. This week is all messed up! But at least a get today off of school!
two Candy Crush Saga
I hate this game. But I'm addicted. And this week, I swear on my life, I won and it said I didn't! It was a timed level where you just have to get one star to win. I had been playing it for a long time and I finally got my one star. I was so excited! But then the game ended and it said I lost!! I tried to figure out how my star didn't count, but it should have counted! Honestly, I should have won! And I'm so upset that it didn't count it because I'm still stuck on the same level and trying to win all the time! This is the most frustrating game in the world. If you've never played it, DON'T!!! Do not start playing this game!! Please!! DON'T GIVE INTO THE CANDY!!!
three Criminal Shows
Chris and I have been watching a lot of shows lately like "Nightmare Next Door", "I Almost Got Away With It" and "FBI: Criminal Pursuit." They have dramatizations of actual crimes that have happened and and how they caught they bad guys! I've been hearing the craziest stories!! There was this lady who killed a woman, performed a C-section, and stole her baby! What?? Who does that?!? I'm so glad they caught her, that was awful! I don't know why we keep watching them, because they kind of make me paranoid. When we were in the canyon last Sunday and by the river, I was so sure we would find a body. Yep. I am scared of life now.
four Lofthouse Cookies
I'm addicted! And it's bad! It's so so bad! I've had like three packages of them this week! They are so cute and decorated for the fall! They are also just so good and soft! It's a horrible, horrible addiction and I'm pretty sure it's making me gain weight, which I really don't want right now before the big "Eating Holidays" begin. But I have an addiction. There, I admitted it. Isn't that the first step?
five Smart Phone Jealousy
I just want a smart phone! I want to join the club! I want to be able to "Snapchat" or "Instagram" or go on the internet wherever I am or have a better camera sitting in my pocket that I can directly post photos to Facebook! Is that really too much to ask? Yes, yes it is, because we are very, very poor. A smart phone is so out of my reach right now and I hate it. I'm so out of the club and I feel like the only one! It's totally not fair. Someday. Someday it will happen.
Okay, this video is... there are no words. Fiona Apple is brilliant, I've always loved her, I absolutely love her version of this song. The animation in this is incredible! The story behind it is amazing! As someone who loves cows so much, I love the moral behind this! And this makes me really want to play the game, although I can't because I don't own any Apple products that would allow me to and it's not available for my Kindle Fire. But I had to share this video because of how incredibly beautiful it is.
Why? Because at one point in my life I received a notification that a friend had given me extra lives on Candy Crush Saga, a game I had never played before. And I thought to myself "Well I have nothing better to do with my life. I work all day. I'm living with my parents. My fiance lives two hours away. Yeah, I deserve to relax and play a little game.
So I start to play. I'm really good at games like this and Bejeweled so I got the hang of it really fast and I just kept going.
And going...
And going...
And then I started losing. And losing. And losing!!!
And I things started to go a little like this:
And I would be stuck on a level for weeks at a time. And then I started feeling like this:
And feeling like this:
And this:
And this:
And really needing this:
Or this:
Yet all the while still thinking this:
Sigh. If any of you have an addiction to Candy Crush Saga (or any other game for that matter) please leave a comment! I'd love to hear about it. :)
NOTE: This is not, in any way, a REAL addiction. I do have a life. I may not have a job yet, but I do have a life. Just pointing out that I do a lot more with my day than just play this game. Which I love... and hate... all at the same time.
I haven't done a post like this in a while, but it's only a little over a month till my wedding, and I still haven't lost the weight I wanted to! And I don't have my six pack yet!! So I'm buckling down and getting stuff done. This post is everything I'm going to be doing this week to help me get in shape!
First off, I recommend downloading the app My Fitness Pal. I use this app to keep track of what I'm eating and how much exercise I get. It calculates a good calorie limit for my body. You can tell it how many pounds a week you want to lose and it adjusts to all your information. I love this app! In fact, I think I'll write a full review on it later.
DIET:
My calorie limit is 1200 calories a day. I try to drink a lot of water. Water really helps in losing weight and maintaining health and energy in your body. I have a Britta water bottle that I carry with me everywhere and I try to drink three bottle fulls of it a day. I love my Britta bottle because it also filters the water I'm putting in it, and I love that feature because I hate gross water.
I'm also trying my best to eat fruits and vegetables every day. The goal is three servings of each every day. I usually fail at that, but I will always eat at least one serving of each a day. Fruits and vegetables are so good for a healthy diet and your body loves them!
I will not allow myself to eat sugar on weekdays!! On weekends, I'll allow it but in small amounts. Like last night I had a cupcake, but that was the only sugar I had of the day. I'm also trying to reduce my intake of sodium. I'm kind of addicted to salt, but too much salt keeps you bloated. So reducing sodium will help me lose weight as well. (but I don't think anyone eats as much salt as I do, so you won't have to worry about that)
Other than that, the goal is to never exceed 1200 calories a day. That's like 400 calories a meal, which makes it totally possible to stay under 1200. At least for me. I usually don't eat much more than 1200 calories in a day.
EXERCISE:
Exercise is crucial in losing weight! My goal is to burn 500 calories a day, six days a week (Sunday is a day of rest). Since I work at a gym, I have a membership at Treehouse Athletic Club in Draper, Utah. They have a very large an nice facility there. I also have a two week pass to Pure Barre in Draper (thank you mom and dad!!).
When I go to the gym, I use an elliptical for 30 minutes or less. I run on that for as fast and as hard as I can (my playlist helps motivate me, more on that later). Then I go over to the weight area. I use a machine to workout my thighs. I go until it hurts and then do as many more as I can. I use a stability ball and do as many crunches as I can till it hurts. Then I grab a weight and start working my arms. I go until my arms are too tired. Then I get back on the ball and do crunches again till it hurts, then arms till it hurts. After that I go to this railing that I use as a ballet barre (I grew up doing ballet my whole life, it's a necessity). I do some plies and then I work on kicks. I get weird looks every time, but I don't care. Then I stretch on the railing like a barre.
This workout routine works really well for me. It makes me sore the next day. My problem was, I was only doing it once or twice a week. The new goal is to do it every day. If I can't make it to the gym, I do these videos:
These videos are fantastic and I really feel it when I'm doing them. I also love crunches! Most people say they hate them, but I love them. So I do them all the time to work on my core.
MOTIVATION:
One of the hardest things when working out is motivating yourself. SO HELP ME!! Seriously, I need more motivation. Having you write and leave comments on my blog about what you do to keep motivated would help me greatly and I'll do all I can to return the favor!! Think of this like a forum, like a communication board to get each other in shape. We can help each other, we really can.
I love my iPod!! I have the iPod Nano 6th generation and it has a little Nike fitness "app". I tell it how many calories I want to burn and it keeps track of it while I'm on the elliptical. Not only that, when I do my best workout a voice over of Lance Armstrong comes on and he tells me that I'm great. It just makes me feel good to have someone say my workout was great. :)
I also love my playlist I've made! For me, listening to music is crucial when working out. I work out to the tempo of my music, so it has to be high energy to keep me going! It includes the following songs and more to keep me motivated:
I'm Sexy and I Know It --LMFAO
Only Girl (In the World) --Rihanna
Sexy Back --Justin Timberlake
Shake it Up --Selena Gomez
We R Who We R --Ke$ha
Sexy Chick --David Guetta
Don't You Think I'm Sexy? (Disco Cardio Version) --Disco Cardio Various Artists
I like working out to songs that say "sexy" because that's the body I'm working towards. :)
If you're looking for a "sexy" body too, please communicate with me and we can motivate each other! These are my goals, and you are more than welcome to follow along with me, so long as you tell me how it works for you! :) Good luck!!
I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS APP! I've been playing it on Facebook for a while, but today I was finally able to download it to my Kindle Fire!
I've always been a huge lover of music and I love finding new (or old) music to add to my iPod (which is a joke because my 8 gigabyte iPod is full and I can't add any more music unless I take some off, it's an annoying process, I'm working on getting a new iPod).
This app allows me to challenge my friends to show off my love and knowledge of music! It's so fun to challenge with different stations. I have these playlists:
80's Collection
90's Alternative
Classic Rock
Love Songs
Modern Country
Modern Rap
Musicals
Today Hits
And I'm pretty sure I purchased an Animated Movies playlist, but I'm not seeing it on my thing right now... I'll get back to you on that...
But they have tons more playlists to choose from! You just have to play to earn coins. From there, coins can buy you a new playlist. You get three coins for winning and one for losing. So either way, you can build up coins faster than you'd think.
Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook said:
"SongPop is one of the most fun Facebook games I've played in a while."
Which, you know, is a very generic quote, but it's something right?
I love this app! It's so much fun! Just, test it out for yourself and see how great it can be!
Today I'm grateful for stupid computer games and ipad apps that keep me entertained. :) Ha ha. Today at work Amiee and I began playing Plague Inc. on her ipad and I loved it! It's horribly morbid, but I love it. It's just a great game. You try to spread your disease across the world and kill everyone. Ha ha. Yep. So that's what I'm grateful for today. Lame, I know.
I've written before that I am LDS. I love it. I've struggled with my religion before but I always turn back to it. This weekend was General Conference, where the prophet and his counselors gather in the Conference Center in Salt Lake and speak to all the members of the church across the world. I watched it from the comfort of my living room in my pajamas with my mom, brother, grandma, and my wonderful boyfriend.
I love General Conference because I always hear exactly what I need to, straight from the mouths of the leaders of the LDS church. It's a wonderful event and I love that it happens twice a year (in April and October).
This year was fantastic! I feel like a learned so much! My favorite part is when I'll be able to access the written version of all the talks on my Kindle Fire and be able to read and really analyze them. (through the app Gospel Library, one of my favorite apps! I can read scriptures, General Conference talks, the LDS magazines, manuals, and find all the hymns and other handouts given by the church. For anyone LDS, I highly recommend downloading this free app!!)
I'm not going to go into much detail about General Conference, but I love it! If you're LDS I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do! And if you are not LDS, I hope that if you have any questions, feel free to ask or check out http://mormon.org/.
Okay, I know that I'm almost 22 and probably shouldn't be playing games like this, but this app is seriously addicting!
Bubble Shoot by Runner Games has 4 1/2 stars on the Amazon App Store (I have a Kindle Fire, I use the Amazon App Store). It is a free game, which is always nice. It's a very typical, traditional game. There are so many similar games out there. This one has lots of levels in both Arcade and Puzzle modes (arcade is easier, and usually funner). Basically you shoot the same color bubbles to pop the others. I don't know how to describe it any more than that...
I love this app. And hate it at the same time. I waste way too much of my time playing it. But it is the only app on my Kindle Fire that I haven't gotten sick of in a few days. I've been playing this for weeks. I do recommend it if your up for a simple, yet sometimes challenging, game. It's easy and free, so why not just give it a try?
. I have been loving it so far! I am using the Fitbit app to track my steps, sleep, and an estimated calories burnt for the day. Because I do not like how Fitbit tracks their food diary, I am also using 
so I'm counting it as my favorite this month. It's an older one but Sandra Bullock is super cute in it (and basically all the time, she's a favorite of mine) and it's just a cute and funny movie. So if you haven't seen it already, you should check it out!
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