Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Woman Who Could Have Potentially Ruined My Wedding For Me

I feel that this is one of the most important (and longest) posts I have written on my blog. Because it is a very (brutally) honest review of the seamstress I hired to alter my wedding dress (AKA, the most important $899 dress I've ever owned in my life).

So I was referred to Debbie Carlisle by Bridal Expressions, the store I bought my dress from (who I would highly recommend for buying a wedding or prom dress). When I first visited Debbie, I felt uneasy leaving my dress there. I was honestly worried for my dress. I didn't doubt her sewing abilities. I was simply put off by her small and filthy sewing room.

I will say, she is a great seamstress. The work she did on my dress was beautifully done... it just wasn't what I wanted. I specifically didn't want the Standard Mormon Sleeves, but that's what she gave me. I tried to accept the fact that it wasn't exactly what I wanted, but I couldn't take it. So I called her and told her I wanted to meet with her again to show her a picture of what I wanted and we could see if we could change it.

(By the way, I had tried my hardest to tell her what I wanted the first time around. But she kind of put my ideas down and just did her own thing, and I'll return to this later)

Our telephone conversations went a little bit like this:
"Hey Debbie! This is Kaylee. I was thinking about my dress all weekend and it just isn't exactly what I wanted. Can I meet with you Wednesday to show you a picture and we'll see if we can change it?"
"How do you want it changed?"
"Well I'd like to show you a picture because I don't know if I can really explain it over the phone."
"Yeah, but I want to know how you want it."
"Well I wanted it to appear like the fabric is just draped over my shoulder, I didn't necessarily want a whole sleeve attached. And I wanted the fabric kind of gathered vertically."
"I specifically asked you if you wanted it gathered and you said no."
"Yes, I said no to gathering it horizontally, which is what you were saying. But I said I did want the special fabric (sorry, can't give away anything to my fiance) gathered on the sleeve vertically."
"I put the special fabric on the sleeve."
"Yes, you did. but you just laid it flat so it's barely visible..."
This conversation went on a while. Finally I convinced her to let me go in on Wednesday (today) so I could show her the picture. Lesson #1: Debbie did not seem happy to meet with me, her customer, aka, the person paying her.

So today I went in to meet with her. I brought in reinforcements as well. My cousin Desi came with me for two main reasons. 1. Desi knows how to say what's on her mind (in a good way, a very good way). Basically she wouldn't let anyone push her around (unlike me, I'll admit it, I'm a bit of a pushover). 2. Desi knows how to sew herself. She reupholstered her couches all on her own and they look fantastic. And she made her kids the cutest Halloween costumes ever.

So Desi and I met at Debbie's house. The second she came to the door, Debbie was full of attitude. So we go downstairs to her sewing room and I begin to tell her what I had originally told her about the sleeves of my dress (my $899 dress). Debbie was not happy. She complained about how she would have to take apart everything she had already done in order to do what I wanted. Lesson #2: Debbie failed to realize that I'm the bride and this is my wedding dress, I should be able to get what i want.

I tried my best to be understanding and explain to her that I wanted it the way it was in the picture. But Debbie just didn't get it. Desi started to try and explain but then Debbie started to get mad at me, blaming me for not telling her this in the first place, which, I had tried my very best to do, but she just pushed my ideas away. Lesson #3: Debbie didn't listen to my ideas. She did her own cookie-cutter 'Mormon Standard' modest sleeves, regardless of me telling her that I did not want that.

Desi began to realize more of what I wanted, so she began to suggest ways that Debbie could fix it to be the way I wanted. Debbie reflected everything after that. She continued to blame me and to push down all mine (and now Desi's) ideas. She continued to think that her way was the right way and I was wrong. Lesson #4: Debbie felt that she was right. That I (the customer, aka, the person paying her) was incorrect and what I wanted for my wedding dress was not right.

I would again like to talk about Debbie's redeeming qualities. She did do a wonderful job at creating a bodice and cap sleeves for my dress. It was perfectly lined. Her stitches were perfectly done. She is a very talented seamstress. I cannot deny that she is talented. She did a great job... but it wasn't what I wanted, and she blamed me for that mistake.

So Desi spoke up and said:
"I think we'd like to take the dress, think things over, get a better idea of what we want and then we'll let you know."
To which Debbie replied:
"I can't let you take this dress until I get paid for what I've done."
Now I understood that completely. I understand needed to be paid for the work she put into the dress. However, the total cost of alterations would have been $230 ish, and she had not yet put on the buttons and the shoulders still needed to be re-sized to fit me. When I first visited her she told me the price and I was pleased, but today when she told me how much I would owe her to take the dress, I was very disappointed.

I'm sorry, but especially where I'm leaving with my dress, unfinished and unhappy, I should not owe you $200, cash or check only (which I didn't have at the time, so Desi (my amazing wonderful cousin (more on that later)) wrote a check for (that I owe her back for)).

$200 to leave unhappy? I don't think that's right. Lesson #5: Debbie overcharged me when she didn't finish the dress and I left unhappy. I didn't seem fair. My mom and I know she did not put $200 worth of work into those sleeves in the week she spent on it. Nope.

So Desi wrote a check and we grabbed my dress and left. We then drove to Desi's house to chat. Desi was upset. She began to draw a picture.
"Is this what you wanted?" Yep. Exactly. "I can do that. And if I can't, I know someone who makes wedding dresses and she would help you out." 
So Desi and I went to Joann's, grabbed some fabric, went back to her house and Desi began to do a mock version of the sleeves I wanted. In an hour and a half Desi finished one of the sleeves. She pinned it on and it was exactly what I had wanted. EXACTLY.

I HAVE THE GREATEST COUSIN EVER!!! 

In that hour, I sat there, wearing my gorgeous wedding dress and doing this:


The above picture are all the strings and pieces of fabric that were found stuck in the bottom of my dress, due to the messy floor of Debbie's sewing room. This picture isn't even half of what's down at the bottom of my dress. There are so many strings that are nearly impossible to get out of the (practically) ten layers of my dress. Not only that, I found a safety pin. I found a hole that I'm nearly positive is from when I had to change in her teeny-tiny bathroom. Lesson #6: Debbie has a very dirty floor in her sewing room. it was not a safe environment for my dress and I am extremely upset about it.

Again, in the Orem/Provo area where Debbie lives and works, the Mormon-standard sleeves which she put on my dress were great and are probably very popular. She could do that to any dress, I'm sure of it. But the fact is, I have a very different dress and I wanted something very different. Debbie couldn't not give me different, she could only give me the standard. 


The truth is, I do not, and will not recommend Debbie Carlisle as a seamstress. The title of this post is very much true. If I would have continued to let her push my ideas down, I would have ended up with the sleeves/dress I didn't want, and it would have made me very unhappy and ruined my wedding. I think almost everyone would agree: The bride deserves to get exactly what she wants on her wedding day. 

My family has given me everything I wanted for my wedding. My venue is perfect, the flowers are perfect, the food will be perfect, the cake will be perfect, the invitations are perfect, my fiance is more than perfect and my dress is so incredibly perfect that everyone who knows me who sees me in it says, "Yes! That is so you! That is exactly the dress I would have pictured you in! It's perfect!" ...but Debbie almost ruined the dress for me. And it honestly would have ruined my wedding. 

So, my advice to newly engaged brides-to-be in the Orem/Provo area, don't visit Debbie Carlisle for alterations. I had a bad feeling the first time I left my dress with her. I should have acted upon that feeling and just left. I honestly wish I had never left my dress with her. 

[Hey readers!! Only 23 days and you can see a picture of my wedding dress!!]

Friday, April 12, 2013

The Day I Cried

Today had the potential to be wonderful. It was a bright, sunny day. I didn't have work. I slept in until 8:45 (because my body doesn't know how to sleep in until noon anymore (curse you work!!)). I had a good quick workout, took a nice shower. Everything was going good. I even started working more on the book I'm writing (maybe someday I'll write about that on here).

But then I remembered how much wedding stuff I still have to do. So I started working on wedding stuff. And it was going pretty good. I was feeling a little stressed but it wasn't terrible. Then at 4:30 I was supposed to meet with my seamstress. And my mom was picking me up from home at 4:00.

The drive to Orem, I'll admit, was a little awkward. Which is entirely my fault. My mom and I had a... disagreement last night. And there may have been some yelling, a few tears on my end and a sort of silent treatment from the both of us. I feel to blame for this fight and I want to publicly say that I am very sorry to my wonderful, sweet mother. I made a mistake, I know. But maybe when you read the duration of this post you'll realize why my temper was so short last night.

We arrive at the seamstress's house. I'm not sure if I wrote about it before, but she will not be getting a very good review on my blog. Sure she's nice and she is a talented seamstress, but her home where she works out of is dirty. Her sewing room had fabrics, strings and even pins on the ground, all getting caught in the bottom of my dress. The bathroom she had me change in was tiny and not very clean. It hardly fit me and my dress inside!

Anyways, she had me try on my dress to see her work and make sure it fit right (as a reference, my dress was sleeveless, I'm getting married in the LDS Draper Temple, I needed sleeves for my dress (although I'm not wearing that dress for the sealing ceremony (I'll be wearing three different dresses on my wedding day (you know what, I'll just write a later post explaining this better))).

I unzipped the garment bag in the tiny bathroom and my heart dropped. It wasn't what I had wanted. 

As I'm sure all my readers are aware, the majority of the Utah population and my friends are LDS. And you may have seen the typical Mormon style wedding dress:






Let the record show that I do think these are pretty dresses. But they aren't what I want. And yes, there are some really pretty modest dresses. Such as this gorgeous beauty:


But it's the sleeves. I hate standard Mormon sleeves! I don't mind the sleeves on the last dress, that dress is just beautiful in every way. 

So when I first met with my seamstress I tried to tell her as clearly as I could exactly what I wanted (I'm trying hard to go into detail without giving away anything about my dress for my fiance to see, sorry!). So when I opened that garment bag...

Mormon standard sleeves.

And it was suddenly like my unique, one-of-a-kind, gorgeous dress... turned into the same dress all my friends had. I was upset. Very upset. It's not that the dress looked bad, it's just that it wasn't what I wanted. I'm the bride, it's my wedding dress, I'm paying for the alteration, I should be able to get exactly what I want. 

But the fact was that I didn't get what I wanted, and I was upset. So we talked about it a little bit. I learned that she would have to take it apart and redo the whole thing if I wanted anything different. So I glanced to my mom warily, asked her opinion and called it good. 

But as soon as we got back in the car, I fell apart. I vented to my mom about how it wasn't what I wanted. That I wanted something different, more unique and I felt that it wasn't the grand beautiful dress that I had fallen in love with anymore. We talked about it and I continued to grow more upset. 

And it just kept getting worse. The stress of my wedding began crashing down on me. If my wedding dress wasn't what I wanted, what if everything else fell apart? What if my flowers didn't turn out? What if my hair doesn't end up the way I want? The invitations are becoming a difficulty. My second set of engagement photos weren't at all what I wanted. Everything was turning out to be wrong. 

So I cried. I cried long and hard to my mom. I love my mom. She's so helpful and comforting. So we went on Pinterest and found pictures of the sleeves I want. We talked it over and decided my cousin Desi, who made a beautiful dress for her daughter once and is good at sewing, will go with me to help me fully explain my vision. Although I still feel bad I'm making the lady redo the sleeves, but hey, I'm the one wearing it, I should be able to wear what I want. Especially on my wedding day. 

Later today I went with my brother and dad to get fitted for their tuxes. The workers took forever and had the wrong information in the system and almost made my dad pay a deposit that Chris's family had already paid. 

Overall, today was stressful and depressing. All I wanted was Chris to hold me and tell me everything would be okay, because he's very good at that and I miss him a lot. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. We have lots of wedding stuff to get done and I have my first of three bridal showers. I get presents!!! :) 

But really after this long hard day, all I really want is a good cheeseburger. Tomorrow I'll make sure I get one. :) 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

ONE MONTH TILL MY WEDDING!!!

Oh my gosh! It's finally here!!! I made this paper chain that looks like little hearts and it started at 108 days till my wedding. Now it's at 30! The chain was twice my size and now it's like a little necklace!! :)

I am so excited to be getting married!!! Chris is the most perfect person in the world for me. We get along perfectly! He makes me happy and always takes care of me. He's the greatest person in the world and I'm so happy that he's all mine!! :)

Stress is really kicking in. It's not that I'm stressed to be married, because I feel ready for that. I'm stressed about getting everything done! Like my invitation fiasco. And realizing I don't have earrings or a veil yet. Also realizing we haven't discussed how I'm doing my hair for my wedding! And we still need to talk to the cake place because they don't know where to deliver the cake. I need to talk to my reception center and put the final payment on the place. We have to worry about our flowers that won't be here till the Wednesday before my wedding and we have to arrange them. I haven't gotten my dress back from alterations and I'm super nervous about where it is right now (the place was really dirty and strings and fabrics were getting stuck to my dress!!!)

But overall, stress helps me work harder. I'm spending any free time getting stuff done (except right now, where I'm spending my lunch break at work writing on this blog). I'm excited for my wedding and I know it will be perfect despite all the stress we may be feeling now.

I'm excited because I have three bridal showers, one every Saturday for the next three weeks. And earlier this week I woke up and realized..."I GET PRESENTS THIS SATURDAY!!!" Yay! I love presents!! And what's more exciting is that they are presents for our future home (which yesterday we officially got!).

I wish Chris didn't live so far away. Yeah, two hours isn't that far, but it would just make life and planning easier if he could always be around to help and keep me calm and happy. I miss him... and love him so darn much!!! :)

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

ONE MORE MONTH!!!

Only one more month till our amazingly perfect wedding!!! And it's crunch time getting everything ready! We just got our apartment though and we're both very happy and excited for that! Now it's getting the invitations done and sent out! But there is still so much more to do!!! If you haven't given us your address yet... you better do it now or you're out of luck!

Thank you to all our friends and family for supporting us through everything! We are so excited to see you all at our wedding! We love you!

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