My Fears

I'm starting an October segment, every post this month will have something to do with creepy, scary, Halloween type things. I love Halloween, so enjoy!

Okay this blog post may turn away my readers. You may feel that I'm a big wimp and that I need to stop being so afraid of everything, but even though I have tons of fears (as you soon will see) I usually still do things that involve them anyways. So in honor of Halloween coming up, here are my biggest fears; judge me if you want, but this is just the way I am. (this is not a Top Ten list, it's just a random list of my fears in no particular order)

1. Animals

Let my clarify this one a bit. I'm not afraid of all animals. I love aquariums and zoos and as you should already know, I love cows. But my fear of animals is more a fear of animals touching me... except cows... actually that's not true. I am probably afraid of all animals that touch me. I think it has to do with the fact that I can't communicate with them, I don't know what they're thinking or what they might do next and that scares me.  My own dog scares me. 

This above picture is of my family's dog, Molly. My family never planned on having a dog, my mom didn't really want one. But one day my dad and brother came home from a camping trip with Molly. She mostly just stays in our backyard, she's an outdoor dog. She comes in sometimes in the winter though (Utah winters are brutal). Molly, while adorable, terrifies me. I go out in the backyard and play catch with her sometimes, because it's her favorite thing to do. But when she gets close to me, tries to lick me, or jumps up on me, I almost want to run away screaming. I hate when she does that! I hate when dogs do that! And unfortunately, that's just what dogs do! Dogs are adorable, I like them much better than cat and most other animals, but I'm still afraid of them. I'm getting better though! Christopher's dog Max, is the sweetest dog I have ever met, and I really like him. He's very gentle and will just fall asleep on your lap. He's the best dog I've ever met, and the only dog I've really liked (sorry Molly). So when we get married Chris wants a dog, and I said that we could have one as long as I don't have to take care of it, and it's trained to be a mellow dog like Max. 

Anyways, very long tangent there, animals scare me. Particularly the big ones, the fast ones, the little quick ones, and the slithering ones.  

2. Birds

I'm separating birds from animals because there are some animals I like, I'm pretty sure there are no birds I like. Birds are terrifying!!! Yes, penguins are birds and they're adorable... to look at. I don't really ever want to go near a penguin. I also think that owls are amazing, but that doesn't mean I want a pet owl like Harry Potter, even if Hedwig was always one of my favorite characters. I think my fear of birds has to do with beaks and the fact that they can fly at any moment right at your face. Ducks and seagulls are my least favorite and in Utah, I see them all the time! They aren't even pretty! At least peacocks are pretty, and most of the little songbirds, they're pretty, but I still don't like them. Ostriches are probably the scariest of all birds, they're huge! But I don't see them that often. I hate ostriches though. In elementary school kids used to tease me about my last name and call me "Ostrich" instead. I hated it. I actually think birds are my worst fear. I'm terrified of birds.

3. Bugs

I might as well just go over all the animal type things that scare me right? So lots of people are afraid of spiders like me. Which sounds irrational because they're tiny, but the minute I see a spider my brain goes into overdrive thinking of everywhere that spider could sneak into and pop out later. Spiders are terrifying. But my bug fears don't stop there. I'm afraid of every bug. Every last one. Even butterflies. Yes they are beautiful creatures and I like to color them at the daycare I work at, but similar to birds, they just fly wherever they want and they try to attack you and I hate it! I hate bugs! I'm not just afraid of them, I hate them. 

4. Closed In,Tight Spaces

More commonly known as claustrophobia, this is probably my most normal fear. I don't like feeling trapped in a small space. Occasionally it will effect me in a car, usually only if I've been in the car a very long time or we're in a parking garage. I get very claustrophobic in planes. But I still ride in planes, I just fall asleep for as much of the ride as I can, and then I'm usually okay. In high school I told my friends that I was claustrophobic and they locked me in a closet (we aren't friends anymore). I started hyperventilating and ate the peanut butter that was in the closet. 

5. Bridges

If I'm in a car and it goes over a bridge, I hold my breath and I'm fine. If I'm driving the car, I have a hard time going over the bridge, it makes my body tense up. If I'm walking over a bridge, I have to hold someone's hand for support. And some bridges, I won't go over at all. My mom told me that once at Disneyland a bridge broke and we all fell in the water. It was just a little bit of water, but I was a little kid and my mom and to pull me up to keep my head out of the water. I don't remember that happening, but maybe my fear of bridges stems from that.

6. Clowns

Lots of people I know are scared of clowns, so don't judge me too harshly on this one. Clowns are creepy! Even the ones trying to be all happy and make children laugh, they're still creepy! At a parade a clown poked me with his cane. Why? I don't know! But I didn't like it. And it didn't help my like clowns. Also at the same parade a few years earlier, my best friend and I were playing catch in the street (it was closed off for the parade and the parade hadn't started yet) and a golf cart full of clowns tried to run her over! Seriously, they could have gone around easily, but they didn't even try, just headed straight for her. She's more afraid of clowns than I am, so that experience really wasn't good for her.  (I also want to add that while looking for an image of a clown on Google, I found this quote: "If nobody likes clowns why do they even exist?" Yes! Thank you!)

7. The Monster in the Closet

Okay, this one's kind of a joke. But I can't sleep with my closet doors open. I don't know why. I think it has to do with the fact that in the dark, the inside of my closet looks even darker, and it's just creepy. But lets just go with the monster in the closet thing.

8.  Heights

I don't know if this is true. I love hiking and rock climbing (indoors, I've never done real rock climbing) so I've dealt with heights before. I think it's more edges. I don't really like looking over the edge. That sort of applies to my fear of bridges as well. If you can find it (I couldn't, but I didn't look very hard) you should listen to the Barenaked Ladies song "I Don't Like" because it talks about being afraid of edges just like me.

9. Ladders

I hate ladders. I don't even like step ladders. I don't like being on the first step of a tall ladder. I don't trust ladders. I feel a lot of my fears stem from my massive trust issues. I don't trust animals because I can't understand them, I don't trust bridges to keep me safe, I don't trust clowns to... not be creepy, and I really just don't trust ladders. (Ironically, my dad put a ladder in my room and it's sitting right across from me, in plain sight while I type)

10.  Falling

This kind of goes back to my fear of bridges, and heights, and ladders. I am scared of falling. I'm a ballroom dancer and the guys are supposed to lift us into crazy tricks, but I'm scared of it because of my fear of falling and my severe trust issues. My ballroom coach always makes fun of me for it. There's only one person on my team I would do lifts with, because he's big, a cute kindergarten class called him "The Beast". But even when he lifted me, my hands got all shaky. It's definitely one of my biggest fears because it holds me back from doing lots of things. 

So there you have it, 10 of my fears. Sadly, I think that there are more. I just can't think of them right now. Actually I can think of a few more, I won't go into details, but here they are:

• Slipping on ice
• Hurting other people
• Being laughed at
• Haunted houses
• Horror movies (since it's almost Halloween I'll be writing a blog post about my opinion on haunted and/or scary things)
• Old people
• Injuries
• Stepping on gum (oh boy, I have lots to say about this...)

Thanks for reading!

--Kaylee