On Being a Supportive Wife

When I graduated high school I had my heart set on Utah State University, actually I knew I wanted to go there for years before that. And I held my head high and proudly said I was going to major in print journalism and write for a magazine like in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days .

During my first year of college my father, bless his heart, would email me news articles about how news is dying out (that sounds totally ironic). He would remind me that journalists don't get paid anything and my chances of actually writing what I want are incredibly slim.

Now, to say that it was my dad that led me to change my major is false. It's not his fault I have such a fickle mind and can't make and stick to decisions (or maybe it is, I do have his genes...). However I'd be lying if I said the emails he sent didn't have an influence on my decision. While I know both my parents would never discourage me from living my dreams, this was one instance that I didn't feel entirely supported. (But I still love my dad, and seriously he supports me in everything so I'm in no way trying to criticize or say he's a bad dad, because he's the greatest.)

As fate would have it, I would end up marrying a print journalism major and the emails that my father sent still sometimes pop into my head as Chris is talking about his dreams of being a journalist. But I never say a thing.

As Chris's wife it isn't my job to tell Chris that his dreams can't be achieved. It's my job to support him no matter what he does and help him to achieve all his goals. 

We are currently going through big changes in our marriage. Our one year anniversary is this Sunday, we both have full-time jobs (his being more than full-time, basically an all-the-time-except-sleep kind of job), we're figuring out our futures in college, we've moved to Texas and away from our families, and we're continually growing and maturing together. Things are crazy and I will support Chris through all of it!

Lately Chris has been discouraged with this new job. He's in sales and he doesn't get paid unless he sells, which after three days he hasn't yet. He's feeling upset and downhearted.

So every night I make him a nice meal to come home to (something I pretty much haven't done in our entire year of marriage (yep, I'm the worst)), I focus on him and his need before my own, and I tell him positive thoughts and let him know I'm rooting for him and I'll always support him.

It's not my job to tell him to do better. It's not my job to ask him what he's doing wrong. It's not my job to leave him feeling discouraged. No! That's all wrong! It's my job to make him feel good about himself and to think positively. It's my job to encourage him. It's my job to continually support him throughout all of our marriage.

I'm not saying we have a perfect marriage, I mean it's only been one year! What do we know about marriage? But if I've learned one thing in the last year, it's that if you support your spouse 100% in all their dreams, they will always support you back, even if your new goal is kind of crazy and risky. Love is about putting their needs before your own, that's what support means, giving all you have to help your spouses dreams come true.

I will always support Chris in his future endeavors and I know he will always support me. That's love. And I love Chris with all my heart. 

Amy Bennion Photography