My 2018 New Year's Resolutions

Hello friends! It's a new year and I always get so excited, hyping up the new year and hoping it'll be better than the last. The past few years have been hard, but 2017 overall was good. I got pregnant after three years of trying and a miscarriage, and I was so blessed to have my beautiful twins, who I'm just obsessed with. Yes, I spent most the year pregnant and miserable, and the medical bills have been an adventure, but 2017 was the best year I've had in a while. So good job 2017!

Last year I made tons of goals/resolutions for the year (which I'll talk about a little later on in this post). My whole reasoning was that with tons of goals, I would at least accomplish some of them. I didn't care about getting everything done on my list... I think part of me knew I would get pregnant and most my life plans/goals would change.

This year, I'm doing the complete opposite. Because I only have one goal. So if I don't accomplish it then it'll be really sad. Now, even though it's technically one goal, it has a few parts to it, so let's go over my goal for 2018.

TO WRITE

That's it. Very simple, straightforward, not complicated at all. But honestly, it will (hopefully) be the most impactful goal of my entire life.

I have said on this blog so many times that I want to be a book author. But have you seen any books of mine yet? Nope. Because I don't write enough. I was ten when I first knew I wanted to write. TEN! I'm now twenty-seven. That's seventeen years of wasted time! Honestly, I'm sick of being upset with myself, so we're doing this!!

As I said there are a few parts to it, so let's go over that.

First is possibly the obvious one, to write my books and finish a book. I have way too many story ideas written down and I just need to finish one. And yes, I would love to get published as soon as possible, but that's not going to be my goal until I complete a book.

The second is working on Heroes & Villains as well as a few other short story ideas I'm workshopping (which is the beginning of a whole other blog I'm thinking of, but that's another story for another day). I love Heroes & Villains but I don't work on it enough because I just want my readers to be caught up to where I am. I'm skipping ahead to the end, but forgetting to work on the foundation first. I've already been working on this quite a bit and you can expect the next collection of stories to start arriving very soon.

Lastly is writing on this blog. Every year I say I'm going to write more but then I never do. But I'm really thinking this will be my year. Why? Because I'm a stay-at-home mom who now has so much more time to work on blogging! I also have a friend who's going to help out with taking photos and that maybe someday I can convince to be my assistant because she's ridiculously organized and amazing at life. She's also my BFFL so working with her is like the ultimate dream job.

So, yeah, my goal this year is to write and that's it. But I'm really happy about it. I've never loved a goal more in my life nor have I ever been more motivated to reach a goal (except maybe last year with my whole pregnancy goal).

Here's just a recap of all my goals from last year and a look at what I was able to accomplish:

MY 2018 GOALS & RESOLUTIONS
	HEALTH		SPIRITUAL		BLOGGING
Yes	-Eat healthier	Yes	-Pray daily	No	-Find my style
Yes	-Get to sleep/rise early	No	-Read the Book of Mormon	No	-Work on the Chris & Kaylee Show
No	-Workout 4x per week	No	-Visit the temple monthly	Yes	-Find my voice
No	-Run a 5k	Maybe	-Become more Christlike	Yes	-Be myself
No	-Lose fat, gain muscle	No	-Give service daily	No	-Become a #BossBabe
Yes	-Dance	No	-Have family home evening	No	-Blog at least 2x per week
	HOME LIFE		FINANCIAL	No	-Get 2 blog sponsors
No	-Cook more	No	-Pay all bills on time	Yes	-Learn how to make money blogging
Yes	-Move into an apartment	No	-Save up money for a trip	Ish	-Start vlogging
No	-Clean home daily	No	-Become financially stable	No	-Take video editing course
No	-Craft more		FUN	No	-Be more active on social media
No	-Sew four projects	No	-Find 1 new city event a month	Yes	-Work on photography skills
No	-Grow a plant	No	-Explore everywhere		WRITING
	PERSONAL	No	-Visit museums	No	-Weekly writing prompts
Yes	-Think positively	No	-Sing more	Yes	-Find my voice
Yes	-Be a warrior	Yes	-Dance more	No	-Learn more
Yes	-Be a better wife	No	-Plan a trip	No	-Go to a writing conference
Yes	-Love more			No	-Take a writing course
Yes	-Work with passion			No	-Publish a short story on Amazon
Yes	-Find my voice			Yes	-Write 30 minutes a day
No	-Tell my story			No	-Read more
Yes	-Be myself
Yes	-Become pregnant/learn what my body needs to have a baby

So yeah... didn't do great. But as I mentioned, getting pregnant changed a lot of things. Especially when I found out it was twins. Small tangent here, I had every intention to keep working after having my baby until I learned it was twins. Because affording any sort of childcare for twins would be impossible. Though affording to live on one income is difficult as well, but we are picking our battles here.

Of course, just because I didn't reach those goals last year doesn't mean I'm completely giving up on them. Some of them are lifelong goals so I'll be continuing on with them in mind.

Last note, I always pick a theme song for the year and this year was just super difficult because there are so many that I thought of. So I made a whole playlist of them which you can listen to below. Basically, this year is about getting work done (which is ironic since I'm technically unemployed) and these are all songs that motivate me. But I did end up choosing one main one and you can read about it HERE.

Well, I think that's it for this post. Let me know your goals for the new year in the comment section below! Thanks, you're a hero! 

How To Be Happy

I'm sorry to disappoint, but I don't have the answer. I can't tell you how to be happy when happiness is something that often evades me. But that doesn't mean I don't continue to try and find happiness. Nor does it mean that I can't help you find happiness as well.

See, happiness is often said to be a decision. We are often told that if we want to be happy, then we can make ourselves happy. But as someone with depression, I have to say that's bull. Happiness is something I work so hard for, yet I often fall short. And it's not because I didn't decide to be happy, it's because depression distorts my mind.

Happiness is not just a decision. It takes work sometimes. If happiness is something that you want in your own life, here are a couple of things you can do to help find happiness in your own life.

1. Read positive daily mantras

I recently created a note on my phone with my mantras. I read these every morning and every night. I also read them when I feel I need a pick-me-up. When I move into my apartment I plan to hang these on my bathroom mirror so I automatically see them in the morning when getting ready and at night while brushing my teeth..

Your mantras should relate to you personally. Scoure the internet, Pinterest, music, books, whatever to help you find a few short sentences that will lift you up and make you want to be better.

Here are my current daily mantras. I'm sure this list will change at many times in my life, but here is what I need in my life currently:

"With God life is oh so good!" 

(This is a quote by Al Carraway, my current blogger obsession.)

You are perfect, God makes no mistakes.

"Who you are is not where you've been."

(This is from an amazing Taylor Swift song called "Innocent." I would link the quote to my Spotify, but T-Swift took her songs off Spotify, something I can never forgive her for.)

You are beautiful, inside and out.

"Do you like the person you've become?" 

(This is from my theme song for the year, "The Weight of Living: Part II" by Bastille. Read about why it's my theme song by CLICKING HERE.)

I am a warrior.

(This relates to my tattoo. Read about why I got my tattoo by CLICKING HERE.)

By reading these mantras daily, I find happiness comes a bit easier. Repetition helps us learn, and repetition can help us to think more positively. 

2. Have faith

Whether it's faith in God, faith the sun will rise, faith that things can't get any worse, having faith will bring you happiness. We as humans need something to believe in. We wouldn't get up in the morning and commute to a job we dislike if we didn't have faith that it will bring us money or something better in the future. We always believe in something. 

For anyone new to my blog, in November 2015 I had a miscarriage and lost my first child. Without faith, I would have never survived that experience. My heart still aches when I think about it and I still cry over my lost child often, but I have faith that I will see my child again and that someday, somehow, I will be able to become a mother. 

When you are feeling low, and happiness is too difficult to find, figure out what it is that you have faith in. Do you have faith that you will survive the pain? Do you have faith that you are loved? Do you have faith that you will be successful? Take that faith, cling to it, and you will make it through whatever trial you're going through. 

3. Find the things that make you happy...

For a while I did "Happy Tuesday" posts, where I literally just listed the things that had made me happy the previous week. The act of writing down what made me happy, made me feel happier. It was often the littlest things that brought me the most happiness. 

Here are a few examples of the things that make me happiest:

Dancing. Music. Cows. Writing. Notebooks. Zoram Gerrard. My husband. Reading. Makeup. Food. Sugary food. Rain. How To Train Your Dragon. Binge watching TV shows on Netflix. Pinterest. And more. 

I recently found a Tumblr post (which is now lost in the internet world) that said something along the lines of, there is no excuse too small to not commit suicide. At the age of 17 I was suicidal. I survived for various reasons, but one of the main ones was that I knew my family loved me, and I refused to hurt them, even if it meant I was suffering myself. 

Also at the age of 17 I met an incredible friend by the name of Colton. He was the first person I ever told about my depression. He invented Happy Tuesdays with me and every Tuesday we would hang out together. I looked forward to my Tuesdays every week to be with the person who made me laugh the most. Tuesdays became one of my small reasons to not commit suicide. 

Everyone finds happiness in different ways and I encourage each one of you to find what makes you the happiest and go out and do it. (Unless it's illegal, maybe don't do that, maybe find something that's morally good as well as happy. Just a thought.)

(If any of you are contemplating suicide, please check out the resources in THIS POST for help. You can also email me at thedancingcowblogger@gmail.com if you need someone to talk to. I'm here for you. I know what it's like, you are not alone, and you can find help and you will survive.)

4. ...And get rid of the things that bring you unhappiness

This past year I moved from Logan to the Salt Lake Valley to live with my parents. Did I ever expect, or want, to be twenty-six years old, married, and living in my parent's basement? Not really. But I left Logan because I was unhappy. Logan had become the place I dropped out of college, the place I lost my child, the place so many bad things had happened to me, and I just couldn't take it anymore. 

Could I have waited until we could afford an apartment of our own? Sure. But I was unhappy and needed to do something about it right away. So I did. I was offered a job and I got out of Logan as fast as I could, with my supportive husband by my side. 

There are certain things we can't just get rid of immediately. I would like someday to be a full-time blogger and writer, no longer having to work for companies. Quitting my job and dedicating my life to writing would make me happy, but the stress of unemployment and struggling for money means that I have to endure and have faith (ah ha, see, #2 totally is important) that what I am doing now will help me to get where I want to be. 

But any of the little things in your life that are bringing you down you need to get rid of. This can be done in many different ways. For example: Do you have a friend who is constantly bringing you down? Maybe it's time to find a new friend. Does your weight make you unhappy? Put in the work to get rid of it and become stronger.  Do you not feel comfortable in your wardrobe? Sell it and buy new clothes. Does college make you absolutely miserable? Maybe you need a break, or a different major, or a different location. 

If you want to be happy you have to put in the work and that includes staying away from whatever brings you down. 

5. Build strong relationships

I cannot imagine my life without Chris. He is my soulmate, best friend and everything in between. He is many times the only reason I find the strength to get up in the morning. He gives me so much love and he only wants me to be happy. My relationship with my husband is a strong bond that I never expected was possible. 

If my husband is not around and I just need someone to hug, who loves me, and is always happy to see me, I turn to Zoram Gerrard, my dog. Zoram is such a snuggler and his snuggles often bring a smile to my face even in the darkest of times. 

But most importantly, the relationship I turn to most when I am feeling unhappy or weak, is my relationship with my Father in Heaven. I know that my Father in Heaven knows every pain that I am going through, he has a plan for my life, he does not want me to suffer, and if I rely on him and trust in him, then I can be happy. 

I have so many wonderful relationships in my life with my parents, siblings, friends, and coworkers. Building these relationships brings me happiness. As I mentioned before, I would never do anything to hurt my family. I put them above myself. Their happiness means to world to me. And more often than not, when we work to make other people happy, we find happiness ourselves. 

Whether your strongest relationships are with family, friends, spouses, God, or even your pet, build up that relationship until you cannot break it. That person then becomes your rock, someone you can turn to when you need help. I promise you that everyone has someone in their lives that loves them. Love them back, with all you have, and you will find happiness through each other. 

What in your life brings you the most happiness? 

Let me know in the comments below! 

2017 Goals & Resolutions

Hello friends! It's 2017. A new year. A new opportunity. Anything could happen. Time for new goals.

Back in November (because I was completely ready for a new year back then) I wrote down over two pages in my notebook of the goals I had for the new year. A lot of them will not make sense to you, but they mean something to me personally.

And while the majority of you already have your list, if you need a bit more inspiration, here's my lengthy list of goals and resolutions for 2017 by category.

HEALTH

-Eat healthier
-Get to sleep/rise early
-Workout 4x per week
-Run a 5k
-Lose fat, gain muscle
-Dance

HOME LIFE

-Cook more
-Move into an apartment
-Clean home daily
-Craft more
-Sew four projects
-Grow a plant

BLOGGING

-Find my style
-Work on the Chris & Kaylee Show
-Find my voice
-Be myself
-Become a #BossBabe
-Blog at least 2x per week
-Get 2 blog sponsors
-Learn how to make money blogging
-Start vlogging
-Take video editing course
-Be more active on social media
-Work on photography skills

SPIRITUAL

-Pray daily
-Read the Book of Mormon
-Visit the temple monthly
-Become more Christlike
-Give service daily
-Have family home evening

WRITING

-Weekly writing prompts
-Find my voice (again)
-Learn more
-Go to a writing conference
-Take a writing course
-Publish a short story on Amazon
-Write 30 minutes a day
-Read more

FINANCIAL

-Pay all bills on time
-Save up money for a trip
-Become financially stable

FUN

-Find 1 new city event a month
-Explore everywhere
-Visit museums
-Sing more
-Dance more
-Plan a trip

PERSONAL

-Think positively
-Be a warrior
-Become pregnant/learn what my body needs to have a baby
-Be a better wife
-Love more
-Work with passion
-Find my voice (third time)
-Tell my story
-Be myself


Now I'm well aware that having this many goals makes it more difficult to acheive them all. So the main goal is to follow my theme song of the year, "The Weight of Living: Part II" by Bastille, which asks this question: "DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON YOU'VE BECOME?" And if the answer is ever no, then it's time to stop what I'm doing and make a change.

These are all goals to help me become the person I want to be, the person I know I'm capable of becoming. I've gotten lost so many times along the way, but I know I'm capable of so much more. I know it's a lot, but if I can even just acheive half of them, then I'll be changing myself for the better.

If you're still reading this, I want you to know that I will have one monthly specific goal for myself as well as challenging my readers to do as well. For this month my goal, that I challenge you to do too, is to find 5 quotes that speak to you. Whether they are song lyrics, scripture verses, or spoken by a parent or friend, it doesn't matter. Anything that's important to you is elligable.

My first quote was included in my Theme Song post, the quote above is my second, but I still have three more to find. Pinterest is where I find mine, but go searching the internet for what speaks to you.

At the end of the month I will do a whole post on all 5 quotes that I picked out and in the comment section of that post we can discuss all our quotes and why they specifically speak to us. I want this blog to be more of a community, and that what these monthly goals are for.

Good luck with all your goals and resolutions this year! Hopefully you don't have as many as me...

______________________________________________________

What are some of your goals? Let me know in the comments below!  

My 2016 New Years Resolutions

A Good Day To Start A Change

Hello friends! If you saw my last post you know that I've set some new goals for myself and one of them is to be healthier. Today is a Monday so what better day to start making a change for the better.

I would love for all of you to join me on my health/weight loss journey. Keep in mind, one of my main goals is to get pregnant again so weight loss, at least the goal weight I'm wanting, may not happen for a while if I get pregnant again.

For this go around I am planning on eating healthier and eating a good amount of calories each day. I will be going to the gym every night after work, starting with slow simple exercises at first and moving from there. There isn't a set plan to what I'll be doing on a daily basis but I would love for you to join me anyways in reaching your goals.

To help me achieve my goals I have two apps that I am using. For my birthday Chris gave me the Fitbit Charge HR . I have been loving it so far! I am using the Fitbit app to track my steps, sleep, and an estimated calories burnt for the day. Because I do not like how Fitbit tracks their food diary, I am also using My Fitness Pal. I absolutely love this app for tracking what I eat. What's especially nice is that these apps can be linked together, so in using My Fitness Pal, it will automatically subtract calories burnt from my Fitbit. It's genius and I love the way they can work together like that.

It is always easier to lose weight when you have friends helping you out. I will be tweeting about my experiences and you can check those out by following me on Twitter @cowgirl_kaylee. You can also friend me on My Fitness Pal and see my progress on there. My username is CowgirlKayls. You can find me on the Fitbit app as well, however I will not accept challenges from people I don't know (at least not at this time, maybe we can do a challenge all together someday though).

I've been through a lot recently and am still going through a difficult time but I'm committed to changing myself for the better. I've already been working on a change spiritually (more on that later), and I feel it's time I started working on the change physically. I love who I am and I'm continually working on growing a better self-image, and I truly believe this journey will help me to become the person I want to be and only make me love myself more.

I love you all and hope to hear about your weight loss or getting healthy experiences as well. And in case you didn't know... I have red hair now. :)

Oh Yeah, I'm 25

Last Wednesday was my 25th birthday. Normally I announce it on here because I LOVE birthdays, especially my own (does that make me vain?). But this year I didn't do anything because it's easy to forget when you're in the hospital most of the day getting surgery for your miscarriage.

PS, as for the miscarriage, the only way I can explain it to people is saying "I'm okay, but I'm not okay at the same time." I'm slowly getting better everyday. Today was the first day I didn't break out in tears at work (yay progress!!) but I'm getting there. I know someday I will be a mother, but it breaks my heart that I can no longer say it's happening in April. I just really want to be a mother...

Anyways, I'm 25 now. A few months ago my dad and grandma were talking about how I was turning 25 and they were saying how I was about a quarter done with my life, then they asked what I was going to do with the next quarter of my life. My answer was to make lots of money.

It's partially true, but I do have other goals for my life, so here they are.

To become a mother.

I want this so badly. I've wanted it for years, I dreamed about it as a teenager, I love kids so ridiculously much. I have no doubts it will happen for me, and it will probably happen soon, but it's at the top of my priority list. I want a family and I know Chris and I are ready, but I do trust the Lord and his timing. He will help us have a family when He knows we're truly ready. It hurts that I want it so badly now, but I have to be patient.

To do more with this blog to help people.

This week while working, trying not to think about my lost baby, I've been thinking a lot about how I can make Charity of the Month work better on this blog. I have new ideas and starting in January it will start up again. Not only with Charity of the Month, I plan on doing a new service project every month. That may not start in January, I'm still figuring out the details of it, but I want it to happen. I am truly blessed and it hurts to hear about other people and their trials. Yes, I have depression; yes, I just suffered a miscarriage; but I have two families that love me and a husband who makes me happier than anything or anyone ever has before. I am so fortunate, not with money, but with blessings and love, and I want to give back to those less fortunate than I.

To help others with depression.

I have a story and I'm ready to share it. I want my story with depression to be heard and to hopefully help others with depression learn that it can be overcome and dealt with. I'm certain I will never truly get over my depression, it's something that comes back again and again, but I know I'm strong enough to fight it. I'm a warrior, and I want to share my story and hopefully have it help others to become warriors too.

To make money.

I suppose this is more, to save money. My problem is not always making money, it's keeping my husband from spending it on fast food and Monster Energy Drinks (sorry for ratting you out Chris, but you know it's true). Part of me has felt that this miscarriage gives me the chance to make sure I have enough money to provide for my child. I have been stressed and terrified over the last few months trying to figure out how I would be able to afford things for my baby. While I would much rather have kept my baby, I feel like this is an opportunity to start over and make sure everything can be perfect.

To get healthy.

I'll be completely honest here, I eat so unhealthily. I also don't work out. And tonight my scale proved that this is not working out for me anymore. Now I would love to lose a lot of weight and get back down to where I used to be. I know it's possible and I plan on doing it, but getting pregnant is my first priority, so I'm not going to lose a ton of weight while pregnant, so this may be put off a bit, depending on how things work out. But getting healthy can be easily achieved, pregnant or not. I got a Fitbit for my birthday this year I love being able to see my heart rate, how many steps I take a day, and an estimation of the calories I have burned. I plan on using my gym membership more (because how can I make money if I spend it on stuff I don't use?) and plan out more of my meals, so I'm not eating out all the time. This is one of the more difficult goals for me because of depression and self-image issues, but I believe in myself and Chris is ready to help as well.

To be happy.

A few years ago I wrote a post about why I was leaving college. The main reason was because of how miserable it made me. Living with depression is incredibly difficult sometimes and college was completely draining me of happiness. After that I made a life goal, to do things that make me happy. I left college to make me happy. I got a full-time job to make me happy. I got pregnant to make me happy. Well the fact is, I am no longer happy. I promised myself I would only do things that would make me happy and I'm failing at it. I need a change and I'm going to do everything in my power to only do the things that will keep me happy.


25 feels kind of old to me, but I'm excited for the new opportunities and changes it'll bring (like being able to rent a car!). Also, I love you guys. Thank you for your love and support during this difficult time in my life. This miscarriage was so unexpected and so difficult and it will probably take a while for me to heal emotionally and I have truly appreciated your love as I'm coping with this. You're all amazing and I love you!

My 2015 Theme Song

In high school I always picked a "theme song" for the year. A song that helped inspire me throughout the year. For example, the year I graduated high school and moved away for college, my theme song was "I Have Confidence" from The Sound of Music, because I wanted to build more confidence in myself. And honestly, it worked. My confidence level between high school and college went significantly up.

I haven't picked a theme song for a couple years, but while at work I heard a song that literally blew my mind. It's the coolest song in the world and it is the perfect theme song for my year. Prepare your speakers to just blast this song in your face, because it's the greatest song to blast out loud. Love it!!

Butterflies and Hurricanes by Muse

I've never really listened to Muse until recently, but they are pretty much amazing. Seriously though, why have I never listened to Muse before??? I'm so glad my husband recommended them, because they blow my mind.

Here is why this is my theme song. Besides being a very powerful song, it has wonderful lyrics that perfectly describe what I want to accomplish this year.

"Change everything you are and everything you were" 

This quote is not part of my yearly theme in it's entirety.  But as I shared yesterday, one of my New Years Resolutions is to "become the person I want to be". Which obviously involves change. I don't plan on changing everything I am and everything I was, but I want to change what I do, what I stand for, and what I work towards.

"Best, you've got to be the best, you've got to change the world, and use this chance to be heard. Your time is now."

I want to be the best person I can be. I want to serve others, I want to make a difference by sharing my experiences, my stories, and my life with others. I want to blog, to make videos, to share myself. I want to be heard. I want people to listen or read to what I have to say. I want to be the best that I have ever been. And I do believe that this is my year. 

"Don't let yourself down. Don't let yourself go. Your last chance has arrived."

Too many time have I sabotaged myself. I have always been my own worst enemy, telling myself I'm not good enough, that I can't do something, letting myself down continually until I'm broken. This is the year I stop sabotaging myself, I stop letting my depression control me. I'm so much better than that! I can do things, I can accomplish things if I would just give myself a chance! It may not be my last chance, but it another chance to do something and make myself the person I want to be.  

See? Isn't this song perfect? 

I am so excited for this year. I'm going to make a change in both myself and work towards changing the world. Things are going to be different. So be prepared because by the end of this year, I will not be the same. I will be unstoppable. 

Things to Do Before I'm 30

So I'm 22 years old and getting married in about three weeks. I feel I'm stepping into a new stage of my life, where I have to 'act' like an adult more and work harder in school and work. I can't depend on my parents anymore. I have to be independent. But most importantly, I want to make goals for myself.

I'm currently watching the episode of Friends where it's Rachel's 30th birthday and it flashbacks to everyone else's 30th birthdays. Phoebe on her 30th has a list of things she wanted to do before she was 30.  So here's my list of things I want to do before I'm 30.

1. I'd like to graduate. It's been a long (slightly painful) journey so far and I sadly have a few more years left, but I know I can graduate if I really set my mind to it. I'm going to graduate as soon as I can, definitely before I'm thirty. 
2. I want to start having kids before I'm 30. I'd like to start having kids after I graduate. I kind of want them now... but I know myself, and if I had kids now I would never graduate. So in this case, these goals are in order. 
3. I want to teach high school. Again, this is sort of in order. I obviously can't start teaching until after I graduate, but teaching is something I really want to do and I really think I could be a great teacher and really make a difference in my student's lives. I want to help high school students. I want to be a teacher. 
4. I want to become a good cook. I'm not saying I want to be a great cook. Good is fine enough for me. I just don't want Chris to continually be expected to be the cook in our relationship (because he currently is).
5. I want to throw a party. Like a Superbowl party, or a surprise party, or a bridal shower, or a soccer party (for my soccer loving fiance). I just want to throw a party that people enjoy. 
6. I want to learn to sew. I know how to sew on buttons, use a sewing machine and mend things, but I want to be able to sew the things I've pinned on my Pinterest page. 
7. I want to travel outside the United States. Preferably to Scotland with Christopher because he is so in love with that place. But I just want to experience a new place. I've never been outside the US before and it's just something I'd really like to accomplish before I'm thirty. 
8. I want to run a 5k. Maybe. I just want to be able to do it with Chris, who told me he wants to run a marathon. There is no way I'm running a marathon, but I 5k I'll maybe do. 
9. I'd like to have a fit and healthy body. This is a life-long goal. I want a healthy body at all times. I want to always be at my ideal weight because it makes me feel good and healthy. 
10. I want to choreograph as much as I can. Teaching dance is something I'm incredibly passionate about. It feels as if it's a need. I need to teach dance. It's a necessity to keep me happy. I know I can do it. I know that I would love it. I will teach dance and I will choreograph as many dances as I can. 

Fight the New Drug

Facebook is mean. It makes pictures show up on my Home Page just because my friends want them. Sadly, this ends up being pictures I don't want to see. So when a picture of a naked woman showed up on my Home Page, I reported it to Facebook. I don't think nudity and pornographic pictures of women should be allowed on Facebook where anyone can see them. It would break my heart if my little brother found that Facebook profile page and saw the many naked women and semi naked women shown on that profile page. 

A few hours later I got a notification from Facebook: 

They wouldn't remove the photo. I don't understand how a picture of a naked woman doesn't "violate our community standard on nudity and pornography". 

So I did a little research: 

"Expose limitations on the display of nudity." Limitations? Why not just ban nudity on Facebook? There's already way too much of it on the internet, why can't Facebook step up, be a man, and declare that they won't allow it? I'm very in shock that this photo wasn't removed. 

I am a "Facebook Fan" of a photographer on Facebook and she once had a Boudoir album of photos she took. She was very careful to put up only the ones that were safer and not revealing. While the images were of women in their underwear, I have to admit, they were beautiful images. I didn't feel offended by those pictures, I didn't feel she was portraying these women in a negative way, she showed the beauty of the women and it was not pornographic. However, too many people reported her images to Facebook and she removed the album from Facebook. 

So when I found this profile page containing hundreds of pictures of nude and semi-nude women, posing provocatively (that's the difference) in their underwear I was sure I could get it removed from Facebook. Those pictures made me uncomfortable. They offended me as a woman. They showed off big boobs and nudity and I truly believe that images like that should not be allowed on Facebook. But it didn't happen. 

I have seen, personally, how pornography can ruin lives and marriages. A very close friend of mine is currently dealing with her parent's divorce, stemming from an addiction to pornography. I have seen a relationship, where the girl suddenly felt very inferior when her boyfriends started looking at pornography, and it nearly killed their relationship. 

Pornography is a very real problem. And I'll be honest, it scares me. I'm very protective over my little brother (regardless of the fact he's 17) and I learned he was looking at pornography, my heart would break. I would be devastated! If my fiance looked at pornography, it would make me feel inferior, like I'm not good enough, and it would have the potential to ruin our relationship. 

Fight the New Drug is a non-profit organization that works to educate people on the harmful effects of pornography. Pornography is just as addictive as a drug. It's just as harmful. And it's a problem that needs to stop. I highly recommend checking out Fight the New Drug, they are very informative and resourceful. They really know their stuff. 

I know that it would be really difficult to rid the internet of pornography. But I wish that it wouldn't appear on Facebook, where it could suddenly appear on the Home Pages of adolescents, like it did on mine. I encourage my readers to look at Fight the New Drug and educate yourselves on the problem and become a fighter. 

Fight against this! Fight for what is wholesome and right! Fight for a better world! Fight the new drug! 

My American Journey

I love traveling and road-tripping and visiting new places and going to new events! So for a long time now it's been one of my goals to visit every state in the US and experience something special or unique about that place. So I've compiled a list of the things I want to do in every state in the USA! When I complete something, I'll cross it off and link a post about my adventure beside it.

THIS LIST IS NOT FINISHED!! If you live in a different state than me and there is something I absolutely have to do in your state, please leave a comment and give me more ideas!!! I'd love to hear about them! And if you want to know what to do in Utah... well... I'd have to ask someone else first and then give you an answer! (I'm not saying there isn't anything to do here, I'm just saying I haven't done anything, if you haven't noticed, I haven't crossed off Utah on my list and I've been living here for over twenty years, but I do have a list of over 100 things to do in Cache Valley HERE)

Alabama: Dexter Avenue King Memorial Baptist Church
Alaska: Go on an Alaskan fishing trip
Arizona: Visit the Grand Canyon
Arkansas: Visit Bathhouse Row in Rock Springs
California: Visit Redwood National Park and Hollywood Boulevard
Colorado: Visit Mesa Verde National Park
Connecticut: See the Connecticut Dinosaur Trail
Delaware: Take the Delaware History Trail and enjoy tax-free shopping
Florida: Disney World, Universal Orlando, Sea World Orlando, Disney Animal Kingdom, and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Also the John F. Kennedy Space Center.
Georgia: Landmark District in Savannah
Hawaii: Snorkel or scuba dive on a beach in Hawaii. Also Volcanoes National Park and Pearl Harbor
Idaho: Visit Sweetheart Manor in Boise and stay at Silver Mountain Resort
Illinois: Museum of Science and Industry, Superman Statue, and Starved Rock State Park
Indiana: Visit Jon McLaughlin's hometown and Amish Country
Iowa: Walnut Woods State Park
Kansas: Visit Land of Oz
Kentucky: The Belle of Louisville Steamboat and Carter Caves
Louisiana: Go to a Mardi Gras parade
Maine: Eat real Maine lobster and visit Lenny, the chocolate moose
Maryland: Visit Fort McHenry and learn more about our national anthem
Massachusetts: Visit Cape Cod National Seashore, Boston National Historic Park, and Walden Park
Michigan: Visit the Great Lakes
Minnesota: Visit the Mall of America
Mississippi: Visit Mississippi River
Missouri: Visit the birth place of Mark Twain and the Gateway Arch
Montana: Glacier National Park
Nebraska: Take a scenic byway
Nevada: Go to the M&M Factory in Las Vegas
New Hampshire: Visit one of their State Parks
New Jersey: Visit Carlo's Bakery and The Board Walk in Atlantic City
New Mexico: Visit the Indian Pueblos in Santa Fe, and the Bad Tour (Breaking Bad) in Albuquerque 
New York: See a Broadway show! Also, visit the Empire State Building, Ground Zero, Times Square, Central Park, Statue of Liberty, and visit Niagara Fall on both the US and Canada side. 
North Carolina: Carolina Beach
North Dakota: Geocaching 
Ohio: Visit Cedar Point and take a church history tour
Oklahoma: Visit the gardens 
Oregon: Visit Powell's City of Books in Portland and Multnomah Falls
Pennsylvania: Visit Independence Hall, Gettysburg, and Hershey's Chocolate World
Rhode Island: Newport Cliff Walk
South Carolina: Visit Rainbow Row in Charleston
South Dakota: Visit Mount Rushmore 
Tennessee: See a country concert in the Grand Ole Opry
Texas: Visit the Alamo 
Utah: Visit Arches National Park (yes, I live in Utah, but have never been there)
Vermont: Visit in the fall and see all the trees 
Virginia: Shenandoah Valley and George Washington's birthplace
Washington: Go to the top of the Space Needle and visit Mount St. Helens 
West Virginia: Take a tourist train
Wisconsin: EAA Air-venture Museum and the haunted lighthouse
Wyoming: Go paragliding off the Tetons (just like Michelle!) Also Frontier Days rodeo in Cheyenne 
Washington DC: Everything possible! Smithsonian, White House, Lincoln Memorial, etc. 

I'd also love to take a trip down the original Route 66. This list is very long, I know, and who knows if I'll get it all done. But I want to more than anything!