It's Hard To Be Happy

I'm not happy. It's hard for me to be happy. Chris can make me happy for a while, but it's just like putting up an umbrella, it doesn't actually make the storm go away. I've spent years learning how to live with depression, then one thing happens and everything I've learned falls apart. I can't do this on my own, and that scares me. I've always fought this on my own. Sometimes the hardest part of knowing you have a problem, is finding help for that problem. I'm not happy, but I know I'm going to be again. I know that I'll be okay someday. That I will have a child someday and this miscarriage won't be as real anymore, just a memory, just a learning experience. It's hard to be happy, but I'm not giving up.