Christmas Wishlist

Happy Fashion Friday y'all! It's officially after Thanksgiving so we can start thinking about Christmas. Shoutout to all my friends who started putting up their Christmas trees after Halloween, you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Anyways...

Clothes are always at the top of my wishlists for any gift giving situation. Whether I'm given money, gift cards, or actual clothes, it's probably the smartest gift to give me. So today I'm doing an unconventional Fashion Friday post to show off the clothes I'm wanting at the moment.

I've never really known how to define my style, but recently I've been working on it. These are all items that I think would fit into my current wardrobe while also helping me transition into a new wardrobe. Defining your own style is difficult, but I'm trying my best. Most my inspiration is coming from my Pinterest board.

Feel free to shop from this list as well (Affiliate Links). Like all my fashion posts, the following items are all under $50. (And, you know, you're always welcome to buy these products for me, you know, if you want. Wink wink.)

If you thought my wishlist would be colorful... then you don't know me at all.

The Knight Dragon vs. the Power Outage | Heroes & Villains [1.5]

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“Ben?” Roger called as he stepped into the command center from the alley. He moved down the metal staircase, his footsteps echoing through the dark room, only the emergency lights still on. Roger found Ben messing with the computer wiring, sitting on the floor beneath his desk. “Ben, I got your call. What’s going on?”

“A villain,” Ben muttered, his voice slightly muffled from under the desk. “Well, she’s not really a villain. Well, I don’t think. She’s just angry, but I don’t think she’s a villain.”

“Well, who is she?” Roger asked.

“Melanie Bolton,” Ben replied, his focus still on the wires. “She can control electric currents. That’s why the power’s out across the city.  She’s attacking Bakersfield though and we need to stop her.”

“Why is she attacking Bakersfield?” Roger asked. Ben didn’t reply, trying to get something working through the emergency power box. Roger watched him. He and Ben had known each other since they were kids. Roger knew Ben better than anyone, probably even better than he knew his fiance. And Roger knew Ben was trying to avoid something.

“Ben, why is she attacking Bakersfield?” Roger repeated.

“It’s a personal issue,” Ben muttered.

“Personal how?” Roger prodded.  Ben let out a sigh and moved out from under the desk, moving to his feet. He leaned against the desk, grabbing the edge in his fists, his knuckles turning white.

“I was, uh, dating Melanie. Sort of. It was only two dates, I didn’t think much of it. It was only two dates. Then I went on another date with a different girl who happened to be Melanie’s sister.” Ben winced. Roger stared at Ben a moment, holding back a smile.

“Right, this is clearly a personal issue.” Roger agreed.

Winter Is Coming...

Just because of the title, I'm curious how many of my blog readers are Game of Thrones fans. Let me know in the comment section below. Personally, I've never watched it, but I've read the majority of the first book and I have a husband who is in love with it and talks about it non-stop. So I do know the majority of what happens, without having to watch nudity or violence, because I'm not a fan of either. 

So winter is coming. Maybe it's here. I'm writing this on Tuesday. Forecast says it's supposed to snow on Thursday, so when you're reading this on Friday there's a good chance there's snow in my hometown. Probably check out my Twitter or Instagram and I'll be talking all about it. 

I'm so in love with this sweater, I have worn it at least once a week since buying it, and that was over a month ago. Literally obsessed. I saw a sweater like this on New Girl and knew I needed one so I found this one. It's a love story. 

There's still time to enter my Zak Detox Deodorant giveaway! Don't forget to enter before the end of the month. 

OUTFIT DETAILS:

Hat: ??? (Similar (Affiliate Link))

Sweater: Target (Exact Match)

Shirt: Cotton On (Similar Match)

Pants: Target (Exact Match)

Shoes: Vans

SIMILAR AMAZING SWEATERS UNDER $50:

November Ipsy Bag 2016

Yay for Ipsy!! I don't care to do an introduction today so I won't. If you haven't already joined Ipsy you can start by CLICKING HERE. (Affiliate Link) It's $10 a month for five different beauty products and a cute makeup bag! It's totally worth the cost, I promise! 

For today's post I'll have links to the company and the product itself as well as letting you know the actual cost of the full-size product. This way you can hopefully see what a deal Ipsy can be.

Luxie Rose Gold Small Duo Fiber Brush 524T

by Luxie Beauty

Cost: $18. Use the code IPSYTRAVEL for 20% of Luxie brushes.

The POREfessional Face Primer (Affiliate Link)

by Benefit Cosmetics

Cost: $31 ($29.99 on the Amazon link above)

Good Morning Honey Silk Facial Serum (Affiliate Link)

by Hey Honey

Cost: $41. Use the code IPSY20 for 20% off any Hey Honey purchase.

Brow Wand Eyebrow Pencil in Chocolate

by Skone Cosmetics

Cost: $18. Use the code SKONE10 for 10% off entire Skone Cosmetics purchase.

B'lighter in Peacher's Daughter

by LAQA & CO

Cost $19. Use the code IPSTERS for 30% off LAQA & CO website purchase.

If you're a fan of a good deal, check out Zak Detox Deodorant's new Super Smooth formula and use the code ZAKDANCE20 to get 20% off your purchase. You can also enter to win a free sample of the deodorant by CLICKING HERE. Thanks everyone for your support with my giveaway! 

And, as always, if you want specific reviews on any of these products please let me know in the comment section below.

Songs About Me 2016

Hello friends. This is going to be a slightly depressing post, just giving you a heads up. Okay, great, enjoy!

For the past month, I'm just done with 2016. This has by far been the worst year of my life and I just want it to end. Yes, my miscarriage happened in 2015, and that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me, but the aftermath of that miscarriage took over the majority of 2016. I am so over 2016. Just be done already!!

Anyways....

A few weeks ago I made a giant list of all my goals and resolutions for 2017 because I'm ready for a new year and a fresh start. (Oh my gosh, just be 2017 already!!!!) I will most likely share all those goals when 2017 gets closer and I've weeded through them and have the specific New Years Resolutions to share (I currently have two pages of goals so they can't all be New Year's Resolutions).

But to finish up this year (because I'm so willing to skip to the end, yes, that includes skipping over Christmas, just let 2016 end, please, please please, I am begging) I made a playlist of 10 songs that describe my 2016!

I want this to be an annual thing. For me to make playlists of songs that have influenced and/or describe the way my year went. Therefore, since I'm quoting this as the worst year of my life, you can bet they are not all happy songs for this year.

I have reasons for each song so I want to go over why each one was chosen. These were all chosen very carefully and I want to share my reasoning with you. So just press play on the Spotify playlist below, enjoy some amazing songs and read about each one.

I'll go in order of the playlist, even though it's a weird, not very thought out order. Okay? Great.

Unsteady - X Ambassadors

I'm a huge fan of this song. My mom thinks it's too repetitive, my husband doesn't like his voice, but I'm obsessed. I could not have made it through this year with the amazing people (and pet) I have in my life. But besides Zoram, my biggest rock through this year was Chris. I was "unsteady" in so many ways this year, but Chris helped me stand up tall and make it through. I needed him and I love his support more than he may ever understand. I love my soulmate.

Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya

This song isn't depressing! Lately, girl-power type songs are my favorite. I have a ton on my phone that I just listen to randomly when I need to be uplifted and find a little confidence. While this is definitely a newer addition to my girl-power list, there's just a few of the lyrics that always stick out to me when I hear this song on the radio.

"Oh, I don't know what you've been told but this gal right here's gonna rule the world"

 I don't want to be what people want me to be. I have goals for myself and I'm going to make them happen. I am going to be a book author. Heroes & Villains is going to prove that I'm a writer and I truly believe that it can be big (considering it will never end). I will find the success and happiness I want without working in a job people want or expect me to. I believe that I can rule my own world and I'm not going to let someone tell me how to do it.

Stressed Out - Twenty-One Pilots

Oh goodness, the words in this song speak to me.

"Used to dream of outer space but now they're laughing in our face saying 'Wake up you need to make money.'"

I'm probably contradicting myself, but while I want to be a writer, this year was so overwhelming feeling like I couldn't do it because I needed to work a real job. Being a grown up sucks. And being a child and not having to deal with all the stress just sounds so appealing, but impossible to attain again. I was constantly stressed this year. This song was my life this year... stressed out.

The Weight Of Living II - Bastille

Oh, Bastille. How I love you so very, very, truly, totally, absolutely, wholly, and completely. I have been obsessing over this album this year and listen to it constantly. I love every track on the album and have learned almost all the words. But lately the words to this song have stuck out to me a lot:

"Do you like the person you've become?"

 Short and sweet, this question has echoed in my mind for a while now. I have asked myself this question quite a bit lately and when I begin to think my answer is "no" I think of ways to change myself and change my answer. I'm greatly considering making this my theme song of 2017, so I might get back to this at a later date...

All Will Be Well - Gabe Dixon

(Every time I listen to this song I ask Chris "Bonus points if you can name what show this is on!" He always forgets. But they answer is Parks & Recreation when Andy and April are driving to the Grand Canyon. Now you know and can get bonus points.)

I think about the title of this song a lot. "All will be well." The lyrics to this song are absolutely incredible because it's not saying that life if perfect and everything will always be amazing all the time. It's saying that times can be hard, people make mistakes, you have to work to find what you want in life, and you don't know how you'll get there, but you have to just believe that over time things will turn out for the best.

I have an obsession with this song and could probably pull out my English major skills and write a whole essay on it. I think anyone who is like me and suffers from depression should listen to this song and really think through the words. All will be well.

Don't Panic - Coldplay

Similar to "All will be well" the phrase "We live in a beautiful world" has crossed my mind a lot throughout this year. Despite how much I just raved about Bastille, Coldplay is, in all reality, my favorite band. They have music and lyrics that speak to me in a way no other artist has been able to do.

This song is short and sweet and every time I'm outside, looking at the world I live in, I think the worlds "We live in a beautiful world." It's comforting to me in a way that I'm not sure I can explain. Perhaps it's that despite all the horribleness of this year, I've seen some pretty amazing and beautiful things and it's humbling to be surrounded by such beauty.

Tomorrow Never Comes - Zac Brown Band

Hey, it's my theme song for the year! That's right, I never forgot about it through the year. I still think about and listen to this song a lot. Its message is very strong and clear. We don't know what's going to come, so we have to live now. I'm not going to go into much more depth on this. You can read why I picked it as my theme song by CLICKING HERE.

Butterflies and Hurricanes - Muse

This was my theme song for 2015! Can we talk about how incredible Muse is? And how I never noticed just how incredible until this year? I am loving Muse so much. Okay, great discussion, thanks.

You can read why I picked it as my 2015 theme song by CLICKING HERE, but I do have a few things to say as well.

First of all, the title. No two words describe my year better. Butterflies, like butterflies in my stomach. Nervousness, anxiousness, and a jittery uneasiness has plagued this entire year. And hurricanes, a destructive force in a wave crashing over my life. I'm a little dramatic sometimes. It comes with being a writer (and it being the middle of the night and not having gotten a good night's sleep in over a week).

So yes, the title alone describe my year wonderfully, but we cannot ever forget the words to this song. It's so empowering to me. If I ever need a pick me up, I listen to this song.

 "You've got to change the world and use this chance to be heard." 

Ah! Love those words so very much. I have done my best to use my depression, anxiety, and miscarriage to help others. Recently I was able to speak with someone who helped me realize that the things I say on here really do help some people. While these are the things that are hardest to talk about, they need to be heard. We can't pretend they don't exist. And it's my chance to be heard, and change the world.

Warrior - Demi Lovato

I have talked about this song a lot on this blog. Too many times to know where to look for links. This is the song that got me through this year. This is the song that gets me through my depression. This is the song that gives me strength to keep going when I feel like giving up.

After my miscarriage, and even sometimes before, I wrote the word "Warrior" on my wrist so I could look down at it and feel stronger. It sat above my scars and kept me from cutting or injuring myself again. It helped protect me when I felt my weakest. This song, this word, has helped save me countless times.

For my 26th birthday this year I got the word officially tattooed on my wrist. I want to write up a full post on it because there is some controversy in my decision, given my religious beliefs, but just know, that this was not impulsive, it was fully thought through, and I believe it was one of the best decisions I've made for myself in a long time.

We All Need Saving - Jon McLaughlin

Ah, my love, Jon McLaughlin. Random tangent, I saw him in concert last Friday and it was just him and his piano and no band and... oh my gosh... I love him so much. I'm sorry Chris. It's a different sort of love, I promise. You're still my soulmate and one true love, Chris.

I think that this song is incredibly important and has been for many years. Because living with depression feels like you're alone. Going through my miscarriage, I was certain no one understood what I was going through and what I was feeling. That's not true, though.

"I don't know why it has to be this way and I don't know the cure, but please believe that someone else has felt this before."

 This sentence has meant different things to me at different times. While my religious beliefs have waivered a lot this year, I have never once doubted in the reality and healing power of The Atonement. We are never alone and we are not the only ones who have felt the way we do. "We all need saving" and we can't be afraid to ask for help when we need it.

No matter what you're feeling, you are not alone and you can ask for help from a friend, family member, God, and always me. Because I believe no one should hide their pain, and when you're hurting, you have to find the courage to ask for help.

____________________________________________________________

Well, that was nice, it ended up a lot less depressing than I thought it would be. We also got a lot of different genres, so that was fun. 

Thanks for bearing with me through this post and the random and completely unedited photos. I promise I will post more about my tattoo soon because I have a lot to say about it. 

Let me know in the comments below what songs describe your year! And please tell me I'm not the only one anxiously waiting for this year to end... Thanks, love you, bye.

This weirdness of this post was brought to you by exhaustion. Get some sleep and don't let it happen to you!

Carl and Ellie - Heroes & Villains [B.1.1]

Previous Story | About Heroes & Villains | Next Story

“How’s the boyfriend?” Carl asked looking over his granddaughter. Ellie looked up from the antique chess board they were playing on.

“He’s fine, grandpa.” Ellie sighed, lowering her eyes again to look over the board.

“Still won’t come to our Sunday morning game parties I see?” Carl asked, shaking his head. Ellie focused her attention on Carl and scowled.

“I’m not getting into this again.” Ellie sighed.

“I just don’t understand why he doesn’t like me,” Carl replied, attempting to keep his voice light, though Ellie could hear the annoyance behind it.

“Neither do I,” Ellie admitted. “But I love both of you, and I’m not picking sides in this.”

“But I feel inclined to remind you again, you’re my only grandchild and I want to be able to visit any great-grandchildren you may have. So you better make sure he doesn’t keep me from your babies.” Carl said. Ellie groaned.

“Still not getting married, grandpa.”

“But you’re still living with him?” Carl asked. Ellie nodded. Carl’s returning smile was weak and insecure. “It’ll happen soon enough then.” Ellie rolled her eyes and shook her head.

It was a never-ending conversation between them, one that Ellie actively fought to keep quiet. Carl wanted her married with kids soon, but Art had particular opinions on both marriage and children that made Carl’s requests seemingly impossible. The fight between both of them had gone on for years and Ellie was tired of it all. She had perfected the art of changing subjects whenever things came to this topic.

“How’s work going?” Ellie asked. Carl let out a sigh.

“They may be cutting back wages again,” Carl replied. Ellie frowned, a wave of anxiety boiling in her abdomen. “I would leave but I’m too old to find something else. But enough about my work, what’s been going on with yours? Art called me one night asking if you were over here, but come to find out you were working late.”

All-Natural With Zak Detox Deodorant [Giveaway Closed]

Words can not describe the mix of excitement and anxiety that filled me while taking these photos. For the majority of my life, I have been the girl who wears makeup constantly. And I mean constantly. Beaches, lazy days, I'm pretty sure I even wore makeup to have surgery last year.

But today's post is all about being healthy and all-natural so I took photos in my bedroom in my Chewbacca pajamas and with natural hair and no makeup. It was slightly terrifying posting this, but I'm happy with how it turned out... and even more happy to offer a giveaway with Zak Body Care for you!!

As some of you may recall, near the beginning of this year I did my first real giveaway with Zak Body Care. I tested out their original deodorant, which I promptly fell in love with, and then I was able to give one away to one of my amazing readers!!

Well, today I'm happy to announce I'm not only doing a giveaway but am also offering a code to buy your own Zak's Detox Deodorant for a discounted cost! I love all my readers and want you all to be able to try out a natural and healthy deodorant!

Zak Body Care is a company that I am so happy to work with. The people I have worked with through this experience have been so kind and helpful. This is a company that gives great customer service while providing a quality product.

All of Zak's Detox Deodorants are:

• Aluminum free,
• Cruelty-free,
• GMO-free,
• Paraben free,
• And are made from 100% natural ingredients.

Zak's website states: "Deodorant should promote health, not undermine it."  It's amazing what horrible ingredients products can get away with these days. Health risks can be found in almost any product. So it's nice to find a company focused on promoting health and natural ingredients instead of chemicals.

Being all-natural can sometimes be a change. Whether it's taking photos makeup-less (and bra-less) or trying out a new deodorant, it's a change. For my husband, putting "all-natural" on a product turns him off to it. He doesn't believe that all-natural things are worth the hype. But for Zak Detox Deodorant, being all-natural isn't any gimmick or fad, it's a quality deodorant that keeps you, and your skin healthy.

This time around, I tested out the new Super Smooth formula. And while I was already a fan of their original formula, I like this one so much better. The application is much easier. It glides on with no effort and, just like the original, it lasts all day with no stink! With my new job, I'm on my feet a lot and there's a lot of stress, but this deodorant keeps my stress-sweats from being any issue. I promise you, this new formula is worth trying out.

I'm so excited to be able to share this new formula with one of you FOR FREE! I love receiving free things and I'm sure you do too. But even if you don't win, remember you can still get your own Detox Deodorant at a discounted cost with the code below.

This giveaway will run from today until November 30th. There are multiple ways to gain entries into the giveaway, a few are mandatory but some are just for fun. (And one you can do every day for additional entries!) All information on the giveaway and its rules are listed below.

Good luck to you all! Stay tuned for more fun stuff coming to my blog soon! 

For those who already know they're going to love this new formula, you can buy your own by CLICKING HERE and enter the code ZAKDANCE20 to get 20% off your purchase! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Are you still reading? Want something else "super" in your life? Check out my short story series about superheroes by CLICKING HERE. Okay, that was a terrible, very shameful plug, but I had to do it. Sorry. But honestly, read it. I know I'm the one who wrote it, but I still think it's pretty awesome and a new story is being posted tomorrow!

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Giveaway ends 11/30/2016. Open to legal residents of the US only. Winner will be selected at random by Rafflecopter.com and be notified by email. Winner will have 48 hours to respond before a new winner is selected.  I will make every effort to assist you in obtaining your prize. If there is an issue with receiving your prize, please notify this blog within 30 days for assistance, after that we may be unable to assist you. The product provided for the review was free of charge from the company. The product offered for the giveaway is free of charge, no purchase necessary. My opinions are my own and were not influenced by any form of compensation. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are in no way associated with this giveaway. By providing your information in this form, you are providing your information to Kaylee Farnes and Zak Body Care. I do not share or sell information and will use any information only for the purpose of contacting the winner. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

It's My Birthday!

Happy November 4th! Isn't is just the greatest day of the year? That's the biggest lie I've ever told on my blog. I have not been excited for today, seeing as how one year ago today I lost my child. But over the past few weeks, my excitement for my birthday has gotten better, because it's a new year, a new me, and I've been healing and doing so much better lately. It's still a hard day, obviously, but I'm happy that it's a day where everyone gets to celebrate me. Ha ha.

Some people might look at this shirt and think, "Yay, fall colors!" I look at this shirt and think "Yay, Kaylee colors!" I am rarely comfortable wearing anything that isn't black or gray, so while this outfit does not match my normal attire, the colors of this outfit do feel very comfortable for me, which is happy and good. It's most important to wear what makes you feel comfortable, inside and out.

And if you're sad there aren't a ton of pictures, it's because I had two dogs attacking me for the majority of this shoot. Zoram loves living with his Aunt Molly and playing around with her every day. He's also a bad influence on her. Shh, don't tell my dad.

Oh, if you read every part of this blog, just know there is no Heroes & Villains story tomorrow. It's not over (it will never be over) I just need to space out the next few stories to make the timing work. But never fear, it will be back on the 12th. Just enough time for you to catch up if you haven't read the stories already.

OUTFIT DETAILS:

Cardigan: Target

Shirt: Target (Exact match)

Pants: Target (Exact match)

Shoes: Kohls (Practically identical match)

SIMILAR PIECES UNDER $50:

Resolve - Charity of the Month November 2016

Hello, friends! Did you think Charity of the Month was gone? Well, you're wrong. It will never be gone. Helping people was my sole reasoning for starting this blog. So that's what's happening. It just struggles sometimes, because since my blog readership is low I feel like it doesn't make much of a difference, which is the exact opposite of what I should be thinking. We, as humans, should help other humans for the sake of helping other people. Even if we never make a dent in the real problem, a single donation is better than no donations.

That's my rant for the day. Just kidding, a lot of this post is a rant.

Anyway, November is weird for me this year. As many of you know, one year ago I had a miscarriage. And, as you also may know, I am not pregnant again. When it's been a year, I get asked occasionally (though I don't recommend asking anyone this) "Are you concerned about infertility?"

Infertility is a concern of mine. If you are curious, I am seeing a doctor this month to verify I don't have infertility problems since it has been a year since my miscarriage. Though I don't believe that infertility is my problem. I firmly believe a lot of it has had to do with never getting closure on my miscarriage, until July. And depression. That damn depression thing I have ruins a lot of things.

Sorry, getting off track here.

While I'm not sure if I am infertile, I do know people who are. And I know the pain and struggle of not being able to get pregnant. Trust me, I know it very, very well.

I recently found Resolve, the National Infertility Association and wanted to highlight them as the Charity of the Month for November.

Everyone should have the right to start a family. A lot of my religion is about families, which is what makes my particular situation so difficult, seeing as every Sunday they talk about families and kids... a lot. It's exhausting to sit there every week and not cry. And while the world finds pregnancy so normal and easy, it's not easy for everyone.

There are so many women out there who struggle to get pregnant, or can't even get pregnant at all. But people never talk about it.

This past year I had a miscarriage and my sister-in-law had a stillbirth. And no one talks about either of those things.

I understand why. It's because it's so difficult to talk about. I physically couldn't talk about my miscarriage for months because it was just too painful. Losing a child in any way is heartbreaking, whether you got to hold them or not. And it's something that needs to be discussed more. Because I know I'm not the only one. There are so many other women out there who have had a miscarriage, or a stillbirth, and have struggled to get pregnant again.

If you are like me and struggle to get pregnant, get yourself checked out. Don't procrastinate it like I have out of fear and pain. Make sure that if something is wrong that you know about it, so you can be prepared for the struggle. Don't suffer in silence.

And if you have infertility problems, know that there are options for you. And that you are not alone. Nor will you ever be alone in your struggle.

Resolve give you information, references, and choices.

Their website is filled with information. If you want to know more, I highly recommend checking their website and taking the time to do your research, because information is out there. If you are struggling to get pregnant, find the information that you need and don't procrastinate it. If you are ready to start or grow your family, then take action.

The three main things that Resolve does that I fully support are as follows:

• Raising public awareness of the issue of infertility.
• Breaking down the financial barriers that hold women back from getting infertility treatment.
• And offering support to all who need it.

If you are suffering from infertility I urge you to visit Resolve's website and get the information that you need. 

Now, whether or not infertility is an issue for you, I want all of you to CLICK HERE and make a donation to Resolve. (And bonus, through November 11th your donation will be doubled!!) For all you know, your donation could help someone start their family.  

And if you want to go even further, check out Go Fund Me where there are literally thousands of couples asking for donations to help them fund their infertility treatments. I have a friend who is currently using Go Fund Me to help her get the money she needs to help start her family. You could honestly make a difference in someone's life by the smallest donation. 

I'm so happy that I get to use my birthday month to raise awareness for an issue that is very close to my heart. Everyone deserves to start their family, but not everyone can do it without help. Every little donation makes a difference, no matter how small. So make your donations and maybe you'll help start a life.