LDS General Conference Thoughts | October 2017

During the last General Conference in April, I wrote down quotes and thoughts from every single talk in the four main sessions. Little did you know, I was pregnant at the time and during one particular talk in the Sunday morning session, I was hit with morning sickness... hard. For that talk, I stole quotes from Twitter, because I had been too occupied in the bathroom to listen.

Look where I am now. Home with my twin girls.

During that conference, I didn't know I was having twins yet and didn't fully comprehend why my morning sickness was so bad. I was frustrated and upset and didn't know how to cope.

And now I'm watching conference with my girls, an official mother, tired and worn out, and not fully knowing how to cope.

It is impossible to write out notes for every single talk. It's turning out impossible for me to listen to every talk. However, I was able to fully listen to one. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk during the Saturday morning session. And one quote stood out to me more than any other.

"Here in mortality, perfection is still pending." 

Many times as a member of the church we are put under a pressure to be perfect. I remember first being married and going to a married student ward and watching my ward members competing to show they were the most perfect and holy. But knowing those people now, it was all an act. They were pretending to be perfect.

Nobody is asking us to be perfect now.

Yes, it's the scriptures a million times that we need to be like Christ, who is perfect. But every general authority has said at one point that they know we are not perfect. It is impossible to be truly perfect. But that doesn't mean we should ever stop trying.

I have said on this blog many times that I am far from a perfect Mormon. I've made millions of mistakes. I have a tattoo. I don't read my scriptures every day and sometimes take a break for months before trying again. I often struggle to pay my tithing. I haven't had a temple recommend in two years... until recently.

Recently I was able to get a temple recommend after two years in order to be there for my sister's sealing. And when I went into the temple, I felt such joy and peace. I was very much pregnant and every motion was a struggle, but not while I was in the temple.

As a new mother, I want more than anything to raise my children in a gospel filled home. While pregnant, I often felt pressure to be perfect so I can be an example for my girls. But I am not expected to be perfect. No one is perfect and I will never be the exception.

I will never be perfect. My perfection is still pending. But as long as I'm trying my hardest to be my best self, then I will never fail.